Dear Readers,

Thank you in advance for being kind, perceptive human beings and not asking me about my personal life on a frozen foods website. I had to leave the site for awhile for personal reasons, but now I’m back and exploring some ways to make content more easily available to website, mobile and iPhone users.

I apologize for not announcing my reason for being gone and neglecting to let you know that Heat Eat Review was on a break, not at an end. I’ve removed non-sweet-potato-fries comments from the Alexia post and am finally getting back to answering emails and deleting spam.

Reviews will go up every week day from here on out.

Sincerely,
Abi Jones
Editrix, Heat Eat Review

Price: $2.50 on sale
Serving: 1 package, 10oz.
Calories: 340
Fat: 10%, 6g
Cholesterol: 19%, 55mg
Sodium: 28%, 680mg
Protein: 24g
Carbohydrates: 16%, 47g
Fiber: 17%, 4g
Sugar: 3g
Weight Watchers Points: 7 Points

Smart Ones says: Indulge in all-white meat chicken and ribbons of tender pasta in a rich creamy parmesan cheese sauce, topped with a sprinkling of parsley and a dash of ground pepper.

Abi says: I admit it, I’m a Smart Ones hater. While other reviewers toss around stars like they’re handing out candy at a parade, I’m less likely to hop on the Smart Ones bandwagon. For one, I am not on a diet. For two, they make mediocre food. For three, when you go to their website there’s a woman on there who starts talking and the last thing I need is a website to start making noise when I go there. This is not MySpace. This is food.

At least, I think this is food. The all-white meat chicken looks like its been grilled, but a quick perusal of the ingredients label reveals that ever-present caramel color glaze. Caramel color is the world’s most consumed (by weight) food colorant. I understand when it appears in cola. I don’t need it on my microwaved chicken.

The noodles are the same limp noodles that appear in just about every microwave meal. They are easy to cut with the side of a fork and hold sauce well. The little specks of parsley and black pepper shown on the box are also evident in the cooked dish. Is microwaved parsley delicious? Nah, but it is nice to have a break from the visual and textural monotony of faux-cream sauce.

Smart Ones’ Chicken Fettucini proclaims to be diet food, but when it comes down to it, you can get a tastier, non-diet entree that’s just one WW point more than this junk. Does Chicken Fettucini really require ‘corn syrup solids’ and ‘cheese flavor’? No, it doesn’t.

If you want something with a chicken and a creamy, cheesy sauce, stop buying stuff like this. Make the one-point-more sacrifice (okay, and wallet sacrifice) and pick up a couple of Michael Angelo’s Chicken & Asiago entrees.

Price: $3.99
Serving: 3 oz.
Calories: 150 per serving
Fat: 9%, 6g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 6%, 140mg
Protein: 2g
Carbohydrates: 8%, 24g
Fiber: 12%, 3g
Sugar: 4g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 per serving

Alexia: The wonderful flavor of Sweet Potatoes together with low sodium content make this Alexia favorite a wonderful and healthy alternative to the everyday fry.

Natalie says: Sweet potato fries are my new obsession. They have the same shape as regular french fry, but are made with the “healthier” sweet potato instead. Finding Alexia Sweet Potato Fries in the frozen aisle at the grocery store made me beyond excited. I picked up the package, thinking they were going to be bad for me but I was in for a surprise. They’re only 150 calories per serving and they are low in sodium.

When I got home, I read the back of the bag in more detail. A “serving” is 12 pieces. Twelve pieces of these seemed small (the size and length is slightly larger than a McDonalds French fry), so I spread out a couple more servings on the cookie sheet. I put a batch in the oven and couldn’t wait to try them. After 16 minutes and turning them over a couple times in the oven to make sure all the sides get nice and crispy, they were ready for me. They came out great, crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. They have very light seasoning and the flavor of the sweet potato really comes through. I’ve always had a hard time making homemade sweet potato fries crispy, so I’ll be using these when I’m in the mood for fries. If you’re a sweet potato fry freak like me, you’ll love these!

[If you’re an Alexia fan, check out the coupons section on their website. Register there and get a 50¢ off coupon on ANY Alexia product, good until 12/31/2008. Sometimes grocery stores double manufacturer’s coupons, so you could get $1.00 off these fries. Also, the registration system doesn’t require a real email address. - Ed.]

Price: $5.99
Serving: 1/2 package, 5.5oz.
Servings per package 2
REALITY CHECK:
Calories per container: 576
Fat: 50%, 32g
Cholesterol: 4%, 12mg
Sodium: 18%, 420mg
Protein: 16g
Carbohydrates: 20%, 58g
Fiber: 24%, 6g
Sugar: 4g
Weight Watchers Points: 13 Points

Sukhi says: Delicate and flavorful Indian cheese pieces in a creamy and delicious blend of diced spinach and authentic Indian herbs and spices.

Abi says: Palak Paneer is an ugly dish. Dark brownish-green muck hides the occasional cheese cube, defies efforts of spoonless eaters and has the potential to wreak intestinal havoc.

Palak Paneer is also the best version of cooked spinach in existence, so you take the good with the bad.

This palak paneer from Sukhi’s features the frightening price of $5.99 for approximately 9 ounces of palak paneer and a piece of naan. This is an insane price for frozen food, even if it does included naan. But according to Sukhi, this box contains two servings, so three bucks per serving is a great deal if you believe in voodoo microwavonomics.

This palak paneer isn’t rich and savory. Instead it is thin and hot, with jalapeno peppers overpowering all other spices. Add the use of cheaper-than-butter (or ghee) canola oil and the dish goes from rich and creamy to bland (yes, spicily bland) and, well, still creamy.

The paneer (fresh Indian cheese) isn’t a player in this meal and the included microwaved naan shows that the claim “It’s Better With Naan!” is only true when the naan is fresh from the Tandoor or reheated in an oven. Naan needs crispiness to counteract its inherent fluffiness and this microwaved version falls short. It is also invisible, as you can see from the photo above. Okay, so it is not invisible, but there’s also not nearly enough to make it a suitable rice replacement. Size of naan: 1.25 CD jewel cases. If you can even remember the size of a jewel case. And 1.25 jewelcases of naan is not enough naan to deal with this spinach.

If you’re trying to pay north of $4.00 for a mediocre frozen meal, you could get this or Amy’s Palak Paneer (the bland version of this meal) and enjoy a toss-up in terms of tasty.