Price: $2.85 at Wal-Mart
Serving: 6.75 oz.
Calories: 330 per serving
Fat: 11%, 8g
Cholesterol: 7%, 20mg
Sodium: 25%, 630mg
Protein: 22g
Carbohydrates: 14%, 43g
Fiber: 21%, 5g
Sugar: 6g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 Points

Lean Cuisine says: Grilled white meat chicken, sun dried tomatoes, red peppers, cheese and creamy pesto sauce in a soft flatbread

Andrea says: Wow guys, wow . . . I think this sandwich actually broke one of our microwaves with it’s awesomeness. Seriously, a minute into it’s 2:45 journey into my stomach the microwave just gave up and bowed down to the frozen meal gods.

My first reaction after taking this out of the box was “Woah, that’s actually a good bit of stuff here.” As I was watching it turn in it’s second microwave trip (after it killed the first microwave), the cheese started to melt and the pesto-y goodness started to ooze from beneath the massive amount of chicken, peppers, and tomatoes. The break room filled with the aroma of herbs and bell pepper, and my mouth was starting to salivate. The first bite produced an explosion of flavor and texture from the chicken that actually tasted like chicken, to the cheese that actually strung from the sandwich a la a pizza commercial or that Beefy Cheesy Taco Bell commercial that sends chills down my spine. The roasted red peppers were abundant in flavor and quantity, the sun-dried tomatoes were chewy yet provided a slight sweetness and the flat bread was soft, thick, filling and tasty! Unlike most nuked breads that are usually soggy and super dry at the same time, Lean Cuisine’s flat bread maintained it’s chewy structure that we all know and love in our flat breads. I guess if I had to write one negative thing about this meal, it was the amount of red peppers.. but I think that’s just me, if you’re a pepper person you’ll probably love the abundance of peppery love on this sandwich, complete with grill marks might I add.

I will definitely pick another Lean Cuisine Pesto Chicken flatbread, for the price it wasn’t bad and (hey!) I’m not hungry anymore! If you need more than a Lean Cuisine, I found it paired well with Doritos and grape Kool-aid.

Price: $2.00 (on sale)
Serving: 1 snack, 2.25oz. plus water
Calories: 140
Fat: 9%, 6g
Cholesterol: 3%, 10mg
Sodium: 11%, 270mg
Protein: 6g
Carbs: 5%, 16g
Fiber: 2%, <1g
Sugar: 8g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 Points

Lunchables says: Little food for little hands. Lunchables Jr. is the perfect snack for your child who is always “on the go.” Made with wholesome ingredients, Lunchables Jr. provides fun that’s sure to keep your little one engaged.

Abi says: I admit it, when I first saw this Lunchables Jr. I thought “Yes, I want some Teddy Grahams, mozzarella and yogurt!” This is my ideal snack and I was worried that the folks at Lunchables were reading my mind. Who doesn’t love sweet crackers and cultured dairy products?

Then I had the misfortune to actually eat this meal/snack/overly plastic-coated item.

• Teddy Grahams: Pretty much the most delicious thing ever. Small animal-shaped carbohydrates win every time, be they generic animal crackers, cheese flavored fish or teddy-bear shaped graham crackers. Yum.
• Pasteurized Prepared Mozzarella Cheese Product: The name says it all. Oscar Mayer discovered a way to make mozzarella cheese inedible. This soft, flavorless-yet-offensive cheese was cut into slices, which confused the heck out of me. I guess they’re worried that small children will choke on standard string-cheese-style mozzarella. Fortunately, future choking risk is averted because this cheese will just make them hate mozzarella altogether.

• Strawberry Yogurt Flavored Dip - Naturally and Artifically Flavored: As Jess says “I’m not eating yogurt because I want fake food coloring. It looks radioactive.” In the case of this ‘Yogurt Flavored Dip’ the color is from beet juice. However, the flavor is both artificial and natural, and it is not artificially or naturally good. I gagged when I took a bite of the yogurt and realized that I was so far from the sink that if I wanted to spit it out I’d have further to travel than if I just swallowed it and promised my taste buds that I’d never do that again.

  The first ingredient in this dip is water. Plus, it only “contains less than 2% of dehydrated yogurt.” Is there some sort of ‘Don’t feed your kids real yogurt’ rule that nobody told me? And since when is BUTTER a way to flavor STRAWBERRY YOGURT? Also, after reading the ingredients list I had to Google Titanium Dioxide. Oh, I knew what it was (thank you, addiction to making art!), I just wasn’t sure what the heck it was doing in my food. I’m tired of eating things that also appear in the NIOSH Pocket Guide to Chemical Hazards. Titanium Dioxide belongs in sunscreen, paintings and forged maps, not my yogurt flavored dip.

All in all, I’m sure that small children (age 3-5 years) would adore this snack, which comes in a two-pack, which made it just a dollar. There are still two types of Lunchable Jr. left to consume and neither contains Strawberry Yogurt Flavored Dip, thank goodness.

Price: $2.59
Serving: 1 pattie, 1.34oz.
Calories: 80
Fat:5%, 3g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 11%, 260mg
Protein: 10g
Carbs: 1%, 3g
Fiber: 6%, 1g
Sugar: <1g
Weight Watchers Points: 2 Points

Morningstar Farms says: Savory, sizzling veggie patties seasoned with herbs and spices.

Abi says: I hesitate to write about these vegetarian sausage patties. It isn’t that I think you’ll all run to your nearest Trader Joe’s to buy them (though you should because at TJ’s they’re half the regular grocery store price). No, I’m worried that my fiance will read this review and finally learn that the breakfast sausage we ate throughout the winter was actually made of soy. This is why I don’t have a photo of the cooked sausage, though it looks exactly the same as the photo on the box.

I know that the Morningstar Farms veggie sausage, which is prone to overcooking, could never be confused with the truly amazing housemade sausage patties at Austin’s Kerby Lane Cafe. But if you’re worried about the amount of Jimmy Dean in your shopping cart, I implore you to try this breakfast item.

Each pattie is already brown, so all you need to do is heat them in the microwave and then crisp them a bit on each side. Burning the patties is easier than you’d think, especially if you’re used to cooking real made-with-meat sausage. Additionally, they have a confusing texture, much like real, slightly overcooked sausage, except they achieve granularity much more quickly than real sausage. I believe this is because vegetarian sausage lacks the connective tissue products one might find in standard sausage products. In addition to lacking tendons and such, each pattie has 1/2 the calories and 1/5 the fat of the same amount of pork sausage.

These ’sausage’ patties, when served alongside a suitably dramatic item (I recommend French Toast Casserole with Pecan-Brown Sugar Streusel), will potentially be mistaken for real sausage. But if you’d like to just make your own homestyle sausage, you can’t go wrong with Homesick Texan’s Sausage Recipe. A warning before you click that link: if you’re a displaced Texas you’ll spend the rest of the afternoon wishing you were back home in the Lone Star State.

Price: $4.00
Serving: 1/2 package, 5oz.
Calories: 210
Fat: 22%, 14g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 19%, 470mg
Protein: 3g
Carbohydrates: 6%, 19g
Fiber: 11%, 3g
Weight Watchers Points: 5 per Serving

Deep Foods says: Mixed Vegetables sauteed and seasoned in authentic Indian style. Vegetarian Delight.

Jess says: When it comes to microwave food, I’ve been around the block a few times. I know the staples, the Stouffers and Lean Cuisines of this world. And I know about the niche markets of vegan delights and celebrity named frozen food brands. I have explored the freezer cases of many a supermarket, organic market and convenience store. So it is with great pleasure that I embark on new territory. Oh to be the Leif Erickson of this flash frozen new world! It is an honor, ney, a privilege. To find this Undhiu Indian food brand was a special treat because, damn, I love Indian food. The things Indian chefs can do with mere peas! Peas! Bring it on, I say.

It was only when I opened this box that I realized there was no rice in this meal. What a let down. No matter how tastily compiled your Indian fare maybe, you need that starchy rice goodness to sop up all the liquid and expand in your hungry stomach. Otherwise you have less of a meal and more of a spicy soupy appetizer. So I left the meal to thaw and picked up some basmati rice, naan and stuffed grape leaves at this foodery of unknown ethnic allegiance down the street. They mix Indian, Mediterranean and American all over their menu, but they are cheap and delicious so I don’t ask too many questions.

Back at the office, and now super hungry, I fell into a trance staring at the microwave and took in the sweet, spicy smells of this meal coming to life. True to smell, the taste was nothing short of kick ass. It’s on the sweeter nutmegish side with a good helping of veggies. And what is that tender burst of goodness my mouth encountered? A sweet potato! Well, hello beautiful. With the rice and naan, the portion was mighty and managed to be enough for a second lunch the next day. Each day I found myself to be the happiest of the desk-enslaved.

So now, Internet, I’m torn. How does one rate a truly delicious meal that is not a self contained entity, but merely a key ingredient to the final product? I think I still have to give it 3 stars. With the rice and naan, I spent over $8 on this meal which is A LOT for microwave food. It did last 2 days, though, which puts it at $4 a meal which isn’t too bad. But then there is the cost of doing so much extra work to get the final product together. Once I got to the eatery I just could have bought their food, which I like to pretend is fresh, and would have been done with the whole fiasco of lunching. Let us remember that the idea of microwave food is the convenience. Still, I would recommend that you try this brand if you stumble on it. Just remember to have some rice on hand.

Ingredients: Potatoes, Eggplant, Green Beans, Pigeon Peas, Corn Oil, Bell Peppers, Sweet Potatoes, Lima Beans, Tomatoes, Plantain, Spinach, Chickpeas, Sugar, Coconut, Coriander, Salt, Spices, Peppers, Sesame Seeds, Wheat Flour, Rye, Turmeric and Citric Acid.

[If you’re into Trader Joe’s products, we recommend the microwavable rice (it comes in boxes) and the frozen naan. Amy adores Trader Joe’s Garlic Naan. -Ed.]