Price: $4.19
Serving: 1/6 package, 9oz.
Servings per box: 6
Calories: 360
Fat: 11%, 7g
Cholesterol: 22%, 65mg
Sodium: 34%, 820mg
Protein: 31g
Carbohydrates: 14%, 42g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 7 Points

Campbell’s says: Campbell’s perfectly blended baking sauce seasons your chicken for a moist savory meal in no time. A taste so homemade, it could only come from Campbell’s.

Abi says:Just like the dad in From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, I take the train to work every day. I even have a 10-ride ticket, though I don’t think it is redeemable for 2 child fares. Unlike the dad in From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, I make dinner. The San Francisco train station is across the street from a very nice Safeway, so if I miss my train I have time to browse the aisles for new and interesting things to review.

Too bad this chicken bake is amongst the worst things I’ve ever consumed in my life. I’ve had a lot of bad frozen meals, so I’m used to disappointment. But I also wasted $6.00 worth of fresh chicken, which sucks. I cook meat so rarely that when I do have to handle bloody animal muscles I want some delicious results.

The cooking process for this meal was something of a pain. I put some hot water in a Pyrex baking dish, added the pasta, seasoning, and Campbell’s baking sauce (which was Cream of Nothing in disguise) and stirred. I then placed raw chicken on top of the pasta and watery cream from a can (shudder), then covered the whole thing with foiled and baked it for twenty minutes at 400 degrees. After the initial baking time I uncovered the whole thing, sprinkled breadcrumbs atop it and popped it back in the oven for another 10 minutes.

Those of you who know anything about chicken know that this is the stupidest way to cook chicken, ever. I basically steamed the chicken, which is a fine idea when working with broccoli or green beans, but completely idiotic when dealing with chicken. I went against my instincts, instincts that were screaming ‘You baked chicken last week and it was marinated and it only took 12 minutes!’ and ended up serving a meal that featured horrible steamed chicken covered in pointless breadcrumbs (they’re pre-browned, which is sick). And that awful chicken rested atop a pile of flavorless pasta. GARLIC chicken? Who do they think they’re kidding? Ugh.

After a few bites of the meal, George and I determined that it was completely inedible. The chicken was tough and bland and basically everything that is possible to hate about chicken. And the pasta? No flavor what so ever. I posited that perhaps it was developed for midwestern supertasters, but really nobody should be eating this.

Thank God I have the most ridiculously packed freezer at Stanford. I went to the kitchen, pulled out a box of Tandoor Chef Chicken Tikka Masala, mentally took back anything bad I ever said about the lack of rice in the dish, and tossed a couple of Trader Joe’s Naan under the broiler (which was still toasty from the worst chicken ever). The chicken tikka masala and naan were so good that my mouth waters as I write this review.

If you want to know how to make good chicken, check out these tips and recipes from Chris Kimball, the editor of Cooks Illustrated (one of my favorite magazines). And if you’re not a fan of boneless, skinless chicken breasts, you’ll find a friend in Deb at Smitten Kitchen. Though, I provide the link with a warning that after reading about S’more Pie you’ll feel the need to purchase a kitchen torch.

That’s right, Heat Eat Review is now paying for reviews of frozen and convenience foods. Updated guidelines are available at http://heateatreview.com/contribute.

Please feel free to send any questions to abi (at) heateatreview dot com or leave questions in the comments section and I’ll add them to this post as an FAQ.

So, if I send you a review do I get paid?
You get paid if you’ve already had 5 reviews published on the site. I’m paying people who are somewhat regular contributors. So, if you send me a review and you’ve never sent one before, I won’t pay you. But, if you’ve already had five reviews published (which means you probably also have an author page), then you’ll be paid for each subsequent review.

How does this work?
When you send in a review you’ll get a confirmation email, plus a request to acknowledge the submission guidelines and payment schedule. Once you do that we’ll start charting your way to getting in those first 5 reviews.

Seriously? We’re getting paid now? Holy crap. So I’ll be paid for reviews I’ve sent to you but haven’t yet been published?
If you’ve already had 5 reviews published, yes.

Is a review less likely to be published if the product is not as readily available?
Regional brands are fine for review, but using your own judgement regarding reviewability is best.

Do you have any rules against reviews being published elsewhere? E.g., my own blog or review site?
Previously published reviews (from your own blog or another review site) are not eligible for publication on Heat Eat Review. Exclusivity and fairness are both important. After a review is published on Heat Eat Review you are welcome to publish it on your own blog or website, but not on a 3rd party review site.

Keep the questions coming! We’ll be back to the regularly scheduled review at 1pm Pacific.

Sincerely,
Abi Jones

Joe Greene was a part of the Pittsburgh Steelers team that won 4 Superbowls in the 1970’s. Do Hungry-Man meals have special performance-enhancing properties?

Or not. It looks like the kid was the only one who actually took a bite of the meal.

Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Serving: 9 oz.
Calories: 240 per serving
Fat: 5%, 3.5g
Cholesterol: 11%, 30mg
Sodium: 21%, 490mg
Protein: 9g
Carbohydrates: 11%, 34g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 14g
Weight Watchers Points: 5 Points

Smart Ones says: White meat chicken with diced mangoes in a honey barbeque sauce and orzo pasta

Abi says: Barbeque means at least one of three things:

1. Sweet, smoky, savory sauce slathered on meats.
2. A cooking method that involves the outdoors and a grill.
3. A type of party that involves definition 2 and probably definition 1, too.

In an earlier review of Smart Ones Honey Mango Chicken, Chavi noted that there was nary a hint of barbecue sauce or flavor to be found. She’s right, the only thing that could possibly be ‘Barbeque’ about this chicken is the cooking method, but there aren’t any grill marks on the chicken. Instead, each piece is marked with the light brown sautee marks that imply items cooked on a flat surface or the application of caramel coloring. It isn’t bad, but it isn’t barbeque either.

The product description on this item should actually read:

Browned cubes of white meat chicken that you might think are whole pieces of chicken and not that weird chopped up and recombined stuff, but you don’t know because why would we say that on the front of a box, bathing in a mango sauce that resembles the offspring of canned mango cubes and gelatin and displays neither a hint of barbecue nor honey. This mediocre chicken is paired with some pasta combined with chopped frozen spinach and two pieces of an orange vegetable that cold be either a bell pepper or carrot, but it doesn’t matter which vegetable it is because it doesn’t taste lika anything except for salty-yet-unseasoned frozen spinach that’s been reheated in the microwave.

This isn’t a bad meal. But it isn’t great either.