Price: $3.50
Serving: 1/4 bag, 4oz.*
Calories: 200 per serving
Fat: 7%, 4.5g
Cholesterol: 3%, 10mg
Sodium: 12%, 270mg
Protein: 7g
Carbohydrates: 12%, 35g
Fiber: 8%, 3g
Sugar: 3g
Weight Watchers Points: 16 per bag

Trader Joe says: Here’s a quick dinner entree that’ll have people singing your praises! For Trader Joe’s Penne Pepperonata we’ve combined penne pasta imported from Italy with a flavorful sauce made from roasted red peppers, parmesan cheese and a special blend of herbs and spices. The flavors of Provence mingle beautifully with tastes from the Italian countryside - in less than ten minutes in your own kitchen.

Abi says: Trader Joe’s pre-combined pastas and sauces are perfect for those evenings when you can’t be bothered to boil water. Mostly, I eat these because

1. I get tired of tomato sauce
2. I imagine that this is how the Jetsons would make pasta
3. They are cheap
4. Have you seen Adina’s Gnocchi review? I want that sort of transcendent pasta-eating experience

This pasta is a pleasant alternative to a frozen pizza, but nothing special. The best thing about this meal isn’t even how it tastes but that I don’t have to use a colander. I am a super-fan of herbs de provence. I put them in everything, even places where they might not belong (Mexican food, not the greatest idea ever). I know the flavors of Provence. They didn’t exactly make a showing in this pasta sauce. You’d have to have a heck of a lot of herbs to overcome the nearly overwhelming use of peppers in the dish. And the lack of cream. It is not a cream sauce and I don’t know where they got the idea to call it that. Don’t go into this pasta expecting any actual dairy components.

I recommend this pasta if you’re a chronic pasta over-boilerer or if you’d like to branch out from traditional tomato sauces. Paired with some sauteed garlic and artichoke chicken sausage, this makes a delicious (if vegetable-deficient) dinner.

*This bag of pasta plus two sliced and sauteed chicken sausages made two large, filling servings with a bit left over.

Yeah, our kitchen counters are made of tile. This leads me to believe that the folks at Stanford aren’t quite the geniuses everyone makes them out to be. Have you every tried doing normal kitchen stuff (chopping, rolling out pastry, wiping up spilled flour) on a tile counter? It is ridiculous!

Price: $3.99
Serving: 1 croissant, 3oz.
Servings per Package: 4
Calories: 320 per croissant
Fat: 28%, 18g
Cholesterol: 14%, 40mg
Sodium: 11%, 270mg
Protein: 5g
Carbohydrates: 11%, 34g
Fiber: 6%, 1g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Trader Joe says: A good, flaky, buttery croissant is enough to make the staunchest dieter consider making an exception. Now, consider said croissant with a rich, dark chocolate center. Though the size of the box may lead you to believe that these are but a small luxury, we must warn you. Once proofed (allowed to rise) and baked, these croissants become a generously portioned indulgence.

Abi says: If you are going to be anywhere near a Trader Joe’s at any point this week and you are a lover of chocolate croissants, you absolutely, positively must purchase this item.

Over the years I’ve created a variety of rather poor chocolate croissant substitutes. There were Pillsbury Croissants wrapped around chocolate chips (weirdly buttery, but super easy), the Pepperidge Farm puff pastry with Ghirardelli chocolate (plenty of layers, annoying need for rolling pin, not buttery enough), and the old standby of just wrapping some chocolate in a tortilla, grilling it, and pretending that it is some sort of Mexican delicacy.

Nothing compares to this chocolate croissant, not the fresh ones from Breadline (usually overcooked) or the soggy ones from Heller’s in Mt. Pleasant (plenty of chocolate, but gummy dough) or even the nice but not-so-cheap gems from the Palo Alto Baking Company.

At just a buck a piece, you can enjoy fantastic chocolate croissants made baked in your home. Getting similarly delicious croissants from Williams-Sonoma will cost you $2.66 per croissant and you have to buy a box of 15 and pay for shipping, putting your actual per croissant cost at $3.23. But instead of paying 200% too much, you can fill your home with the delicious scent of fresh-baked pastry from Trader Joe’s, provided you have patience, an oven, and no pest problems.

You see, you’ll need to let these sit out overnight so that they can rise. So if you have ants, mice, or cockroaches, then these are not the frozen treats for you. You’ll need to let these croissants sit out overnight for a good 9 hours. They’re perfect for you late risers because all you have to do is take the risen croissants (already on a baking sheet), pop them in the oven, and 22 minutes later (your time may vary) you’ll have a couple of amazingly delicious breakfast pastries.

Price: $4.19
Serving: 1 meal, 10 oz.
Calories: 390
Fat: 14%, 9g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 33%, 790mg
Protein: 18g
Carbs: 18%, 53g
Fiber: 17%, 4g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Linda says: Semolina spaghetti with carrots, green & red bell peppers, and gourmet vegetarian chicken, tossed in a spicy Asian-style Peanut Sauce

Kelly says: Prior to consuming this meal I thought that ‘Vegetarian Chicken’ referred chicken that consumes only non-animal feed. I had a lot to learn. To Linda McCartney (who is dead, btw), Vegetarian Chicken means ‘fake chicken made out of vegetables.’

Yes, you are allowed to laugh at me. I live in the South, so I’m sure I’m not the first person who has made this mistake. Also, read the product blurb. Does it say anything about it not being real chicken? No, it just says ‘vegetarian chicken’, the least helpful phrase ever. Let me say now that if you’re thinking about switching to a no-meat lifestyle, stay far, far away from this meal. I’ll get into why later, but I just wanted to let you know now that it is not worth putting anywhere near your apartment-dweller Whole Foods mini shopping cart.

The noodles are larger than your standard spaghetti. This wouldn’t matter if it didn’t make them IMPOSSIBLE to eat in their enormousness, plus they are mushy from the get-go. I’ve had some pretty darn good Lean Cuisines (see Sesame Stir Fry with Chicken), so I know that noodles can be done relatively well. These were relatively inedible. The vegetables were forgettably fine. I ate all of them. Why? I like vegetables. Also, there are approximately 2 carrot sticks worth of vegetables in this meal. Another plus for Lean Cuisine. Too bad it was impossible to consume the fake chicken.

The process went something like this: Stab chicken chunk with fork. Pop in mouth. Attempt chewing. Find chewing quite difficult. Put further effort into chewing. Still not working. WTF mouth?!? Realize I am chewing a tasteless and rubbery fake meat item. Spit out. Repeat with new fake-chicken-nugget. Realize it is not me, it is the meat. Give up.

Sometime during the magical process that I like to call microwaving, the faux-chicken became rock-hard nuggets of evil. I know that isn’t very scientific, but that’s what happened. Thus, this Linda McCartney meal became the ultimate diet food, the 7 (seven!) uneaten breaded fake-chicken blobs mocking me from the tray. I ate all of the noodles. I ate all of the vegetables. I even consumed the not-worth-mentioning peanut sauce (It claims to be spicy, but this Polish-American girl found it blander-than-bland and I sweat when I eat at chain Mexican restaurants). But the idea of eating those chicken chunks? I’m shivering in my boots.

Price: $3.59
Serving: 1/2 package, 6.75 oz.
Calories: 340
Fat:27%, 18g
Cholesterol: 6%, 15mg
Sodium: 45%, 1090mg
Protein: 9g
Carbs: 12%, 37g
Fiber: 5%, 1g
WW Points: 8 Points for one serving

Bob Evans says: White Gravy with Pork Sausage & 2 Biscuits

Nicole says: Bob gives separate cooking directions for the gravy and biscuits, which come in separate packages out of the box. Really, they can still cook together - cook the gravy for 4 minutes, then throw the biscuits in for the last 1 minute (add ten seconds - they
are warmer and softer that way).

The biscuits are pretty amazing and didn’t become hard from the microwave heating process. They could have had a bit more crumb, but absolutely avoided being rubbery. Soft, warm biscuits. Ahhhh. These are tasty enough, but really they are just a delivery vehicle for the gravy.

The tray for the gravy reminds of a shelf stable meat and potatoes meal I once ate, which wasn’t terrible, but I’d take Banquet over that crazy thing any day. Luckily, the gravy is not shelf stable. It is frozen, which means you should consider giving it a quick stir to get the ice crystals out of the center before the final minute of cooking. The gravy turns out creamy and chunky, with a generous share of spicy sausage bits and black pepper. It’s just below diner quality, but still savory and hearty. I’m more accustomed to gravies a bit heavier in fat and salt, but this is still quite good, and those who don’t prefer a sodium-heavy diet would probably like this.

Bob is fooling himself when he says that this is two servings. It is, however, a reasonably satisfying breakfast, especially for a workday morning when you’re accustomed to tea and a pecan twirl. I would recommend this to hungry people and hungover people. People who didn’t eat dinner last night, or ate dinner too early. If you’ve never experienced biscuits and gravy before, this would be by no means the worst introduction ever.

Bonus Instant Message conversation about star ratings, sodium, and Alton Brown: