Price: $5.19
Serving: 1 bowl, 9.5oz.
Calories: 390
Fat: 28%, 18g
Cholesterol: 8%, 25mg
Sodium: 33%, 780mg
Protein: 18g
Carbs: 14%, 41g
Fiber: 28%, 7g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Amy’s Kitchen says: This casserole is based on a popular Mexican dish called “Chilaquiles.” When Amy’s parents first tasted it in Oaxaca they came back and asked Amy’s chefs to find the recipe. One of the chefs (whose family had owned a Mexican restaurant in San Francisco) was already familiar with the dish and adapted it to suit Amy’s Standards . . . organic ingredients, fewer “hot” spices, and less fat. The result is delicious and might remind you of a bowl of “nachos” made with organic baked corn chips and melted cheddar and jack cheeses. Plus . . . an assortment of organic vegetables and our own homemade fresh tofu. On the side are delicately seasoned slow-cooked black beans, making this gluten free meal in a bowl thoroughly satisfying.

Abi says: My apologies for the longest frozen food origin explanation in the world. It seems that the people at Amy’s Kitchen (and hey, if y’all are reading this, can I come visit you and tour the factory? Please?) ate a version of my most favorite hangover food EVER, came back to the United States, de-Mexicanized it, added tofu, and are now selling it as tortilla casserole.

When I saw this at the grocery store I was unnaturally excited about a frozen product. I was so eager to try this that I broke my cardinal rule of frozen food and paid a full $5.19 for this bowl.

As a person of Latin American heritage and a general enjoyer of food, I understand now that I made a mistake. Now I know how Italians feel when they think of Chef Boyardee. Where are the layers of flavor usually evident in Amy’s Kitchen meals? Where is the cheese? Why does the tofu have to be so obviously tofu-looking?

This bowl is full of mushy corn tortillas, bland tomato sauce (it would seem a shame to call it salsa or mole), and a healthy side of black beans. I know that it is possible to make a completely awesome meal out of those ingredients. However, this meal is not awesome. The bowl is filling, but it is also boring. It is so boring that at one point while eating it (during an I-want-to-be-President debate) I said out loud “Wow, this is boring.” and George asked “Hillary?” and I said “Well, her too, but I was talking about this meal.” And then he looked at it in a way that said ‘Yeah, it is not as good as my microwaved mini pizza.’

When something from Amy’s Kitchen is beat by a 79¢ pizza, you know there’s a problem. This meal makes me sad because I worry that an entire generation of healthful frozen food eating Americans are going to think of tortilla casserole or chilaquiles and they’ll think of this bowl.

This isn’t how it is folks and this isn’t how it has to be. If you’re looking for something Mexicanish and in the Amy’s Kitchen line, stick with the Santa Fe Enchilada Bowl, the Cheese Enchilada Meal or the Mexican Tamale Pie (just 2 points). Any of those is a terrific alternative to this dud.

Price: $2.50 (sale at Safeway)
Serving: 1 pizza, 5.4oz.
Calories: 350
Fat: 23%, 15g
Cholesterol: 10%, 30mg
Sodium: 46%, 1090mg
Protein: 15g
Carbs: 14%, 41g
Fiber: 7%, 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Red Baron says: Introducing delicious Red Baron singles made with the finest ingredients, quality toppings and real cheeses. They make the perfect addition to lunch or dinner, or as a wholesome snack on the go.

This review was ghost-written. George ate the pizza, then Abi asked him about it and put together the text. Then George checked it and said “I write pretty good reviews.”

George says: Grad school isn’t easy. What’s even tougher is living with someone who takes up most of the freezer with off-limits frozen food. Fortunately, Red Baron was on sale at Safeway and I picked up a couple of boxes for just $2.50 each.

One of the features that differentiates this pizza from others is the no-hassle crisping tray. I don’t have to mess around with assembling the tray or unwrapping the pizza and placing it on a poorly constructed tray. I just have to unwrap the pizza, replace the pepperonis that came off when I turned the box upside down, and throw the pizza in the microwave.

Speaking of pepperoni, the pieces on this pizza are ample, ensuring a bit of pepperoni in almost every bite. The cheese is fine, nothing special, but contributing to the making of an overall decent pizza. The sauce is pretty great, but the real highlight of this pizza is the crust. The bread isn’t watery, a hallmark of many cheap pizzas. Instead it tastes like crusty, crispy French Bread, which is very good considering that this is a French Bread Pizza.

A single French Bread pizza isn’t a big meal, but it has just as much volume (maybe more) as one of those 79¢ party pizzas. And those have much sparser cheese and nearly non-existent toppings.

I recommend picking up a box or two whenever you see them on sale. You really can’t beat the price of $1.25 each for reliable, satisfying French Bread pizza.

Price: $5.99 (on sale for $4.00)
Serving: 1/3 Pizza, 4.66oz.
Calories: 360 per serving
Fat: 28%, 18g
Cholesterol: 5%, 15mg
Sodium: 28%, 680mg
Protein: 13g
Carbs: 12%, 37g
Fiber: 16%, 4g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Amy’s says: This variation of our basic cheese pizza has a layer of pesto and fresh tasting tomato sauce atop a whole-wheat crust. Parents will appreciate the extra nutrition of the crust as well as its great taste.

Abi says: I have the remedy for the problem that you don’t even realize exists. The solution is Amy’s Cheese and Pesto Pizza. Last year I complained that Amy’s cheese pizza was that it was all fine and dandy so long and one didn’t mind being bored out of their mind. Well, it is almost as though someone at Amy’s heard me and made a pizza that offered the simplicity of cheese with the oomph of pesto and the heartiness of a whole wheat crust.

Part of why I’m excited about this pizza is that the pest on it is even better than the pesto in the legendary Amy’s Pesto Tortellini Bowl. Yes, I realize that it is probably the same pesto, but the pizza is just so much more amazing because the pesto is paired with a delightfully tangy tomato sauce, cheese, and chewy crust.

Half of this pizza, plus a couple of beers and a couple of chocolate chip cookies will be more than enough to get you through the next round of NFL playoff games or tomorrow night’s primary in New Hampshire.

Price: $3.99
Serving: 1/3 pizza, 8oz.
Calories: 360
Fat: 21%, 14g
Cholesterol: 20%, 60mg
Sodium: 32%, 770mg
Protein: 26g
Carbs: 11%, 32g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Trader Joe says: Did you ever think you’d find a Philly Cheesesteak in the pizza section? Neither did we, until we came across this delicious creation. Inspired by the City of Brotherly Love, Trader Joe’s Philly Cheesesteak Pizza is destined to become aclassic in its own right. We’ve topped this pizza’s crust with thinly sliced, perfectly seasoned USDA choice roast beef, roasted onions, red & yellow bell peppers and four savory cheeses.

Abi says: Before this whole review gets underway, I’d like to let all of you know that I’ve never actually had a Philly cheesesteak in Philadelphia. I’ve had cheesesteaks (with provolone, not Cheez Whiz) and I’ve been to Philadelphia (Core de Roma is a completely charming Italian restaurant serving Roman cuisine. You should go there. And get the artichokes. They are so good you will die.) but I haven’t had cheesesteak in Philadelphia. I’m sure it is transcendent.

This lack of experience can’t stop me from telling you what’s wrong with this pizza: too many toppings. That’s right, there’s just too much beef and cheese and too many peppers and onions. Seriously, Trader Joe, do you think that I have forks at my disposal? Do you think that I’m going to eat some toppings off the top of the pizza to make consumption easier?

The most common complaint I hear about frozen pizza is “There weren’t enough toppings.” Sure, pizza crust and sauce are usually nice, but they simply serve as a way for people to eat large quantities of salty meat without feeling like they’ve become temporary adherents to the Atkins diet.

Sadly, there’s a downside to having so many toppings on a pizza: the toppings in the middle were somewhat cool even though the edges of the pizza were definitely done. That crazy-delicious amount of seasoned sliced steak should probably be broiled at some point, but lacking that sort of patience (heat the oven to 500 degrees? and then watch it to make sure my pizza doesn’t burn? ha!).

I just tossed a couple already-sliced pieces in the microwave. They were still good enough to eat with relish and the entire pizza (which is on the medium-to-small side) was hearty enough to feed and sate two hungry adults.