Price: $5.79
Serving: 1/5 of pizza (150g)
Calories: 360 per serving
Fat: 26%, 17g
Cholesterol: 12%, 35mg
Sodium: 35%, 840mg
Protein: 17g
Carbohydrates: 11%, 34g
Fiber: 12%, 3g
Sugar: 6g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 per serving
Weight Watchers Points: 40 per pizza

DiGiorno says: Pizzeria-style crust topped with a thick, rich Italian recipe sauce, hearty chunks of flavorful Italian Sausage, abundant Pepperoni, mushrooms, and julienne strips of red onion, green and red peppers.

Becky says: Our house is very pro-pizza. We’re also very picky about what is lucky enough to grace our TV trays. While Papa Murphy’s holds the top spot for the cheap goods, we do still have a little room in our hearts for the neglected stepchild stuck in the freezer case. That spot just got a little tighter, as this is the first offering by DiGiorno that I actually enjoyed!!!

First and foremost, my biggest pet peeve about frozen pizza is that half of the cheese bakes off of the dang thing while it’s in the oven, and for that very reason, I had invested in one of those holey-bottomed pizza pans. While not 100% effective in containing spillage, it was better than nothing…I could TRY to salvage the rejected toppings. With this pizza, though; I decided to throw caution to the wind and try the ol’ ‘place pizza directly on rack’ trick again…for sake of writing this review, of course! While it was baking, I kept sniffing…waiting…knowing that that telltale scent of burning cheese was soon heading my way. But nothing happened! When the timer finally went off, and I opened the oven, I was truly impressed by what I saw – all of the toppings stayed intact! It’s a miracle!

Okay, so the label says 5 servings. That may work if you’re under the age of 7. I hate how manufacturers use nutritional labeling to their advantage, to make their product look better than it actually is. In all honesty, this was the perfect size pizza for 2 adults, and that changes things. In the end this just ticks me off, and I mentally scold myself for not going to the gym that morning.

In all honesty, though – this pizza was GOOD. The crust was cooked perfectly, and wasn’t too thick or too thin (it was just a tad bit thinner than a typical hand-tossed pizza). There was a nicely flavored tomato sauce, and it was evenly distributed. The sausage was juicy (although the pieces were a tad bit on the big side), and the pepperoni was thick-sliced and not overly greasy. There were plenty of mushrooms, onion, and green pepper; however, I was disappointed by the pitiful soggy little morsels of red pepper…but 1 out of 6 ain’t bad! The cheese had melted evenly, had a good texture, and stayed on the pizza – that’s enough to make me happy!

Overall, I was impressed by this – and will buy it again if the need arises, and I’m not at a store that offers my favorite frozen pizza (Culinary Circle - the Albertsons brand) Supreme with Roasted Vegetables). Thanks DiGiorno, for helping me to believe in frozen pizza once again!

Price: 14¢
Serving: 1/2 block noodles + seasoning, 1.5oz. + water
Reality: 1 block of noodles + seasoning, 3oz. + water
Calories per package: 380
Fat: 22%, 14g
  Saturated Fat: 36%, 7g
  Trans Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 64%, 1520mg
Protein: 10g
Carbohydrates: 18%, 54g
Fiber: 16%, 4g
Sugar: 0g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 per serving
Weight Watchers Points: 8 per package

Great Value says: Do not purchase if bag is open or torn.

Abi says: Ramen at Wal-Mart is 14¢. As a lover of ramen, I wondered why I hadn’t tried it until just now. Then I realized that Wal-Mart ramen only comes in Beef and Chicken and I prefer Oriental Flavor Ramen. However, in these belt-tightening times (money wise, not actual belt-wise, I hate wearing belts - so uncomfortable!) I figured it would be great to feature less expensive modes of nutrition. Yes, I’m using the word nutrition loosely.

I grabbed a packet of Wal-Mart beef-flavored ramen and promptly forgot all about it. Then a quiety, dreary Saturday rolled around and I just wanted something super-fast and noodly. Ah, Beef Ramen to the rescue. Unfortunately, the ramen had expired last week. This put me in a quandry. Could I accurately review an expired product? Had the ramen changed significantly since the expiration date? And most importantly, does ramen actually expire or is the expiration date a ruse to get you to buy more ramen?

I dismissed the first worry and ripped open the ramen package. It looked like the same dried out block of deep fried noodles one would expect and just five minutes later I had a bowl of perfectly cooked ramen.

Not familiar with the beef flavor, I tore open the silver foiled pouch of seasoning (MSG) and was confronted with a smell that would make a badger blush. Either the beef powder had expired or beef flavoring for ramen smells like a dead body. My mind quickly churned through the possibilities (make my own sauce with peanut butter and soy sauce, try to find an oriental packet somewhere, give it up as a loss) before pouring the beef powder packet onto the ramen and stirring thoroughly.

‘Okay, tongue,’ I said to myself, none to convincingly ‘It is time to do your job.’ I count on my body all of the time to keep myself from eating spoiled food. My eyes alert me to mold, my fingers go ‘This apple is too mushy.’ and my nose and tongue combo say ‘Whoa, blue cheese is not your friend, hey stop eating that! Nooooo, stooooop.’

I twirled a forkful of beef-flavored noodles, took an exploratory bite and thought ‘Eh, I can eat this.’ So, if you’re on the Internet typing “Is it okay to eat expired ramen?” into Google, take it from me “You’ll probably be okay.”

[Please note that ramen is probably the only expired food I'd vouch for. Stay away from bulging soup cans, past-their-prime meats and these frozen meals being recalled by Lean Cuisine.]

Will I try Wal-Mart’s ramen again? Yes, I will. But I say yes because I run a blog that requires me to eat gross things, not because I’m suggesting you go and buy it.

Price: 29¢
Serving: 1/2 block noodles + seasoning, 1.5oz. + water
Reality: 1 block of noodles + seasoning, 3oz. + water
Calories per package: 380
Fat: 22%, 14g
  Saturated Fat: 36%, 7g
  Trans Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 74%, 1780mg
Protein: 10g
Carbohydrates: 18%, 52g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 0g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 per serving
Weight Watchers Points: 8 per package

Maruchan says: Nothing, which is too bad because I spent way too long clicking around their Japanese-only website.

Abi says: Ramen is a divisive topic, with strong feelings on both sides. I am a ramen lover and have rated this flavor of ramen five stars. My partner could live a lifetime without ramen, a decision that I don’t understand. The traditional flavors for American ramen range from one meat variety to another, with beef (red), chicken (orange), creamy chicken (yellow) and shrimp (pink) being the animal-based flavors I most often see at the supermarket. While each of these has a place (a fond childhood lunch was chicken ramen with chunks of hotdog), my favorite flavor in adulthood is definitely Oriental.

Why Oriental, the least descriptive and potentially most offensive flavor-name ever invented? Probably because it tastes least like I’m sucking on a bullion cube. I’m the same way when I’m ill: vegetable broth is awesome, chicken broth is not acceptable. Also not acceptable is the amount of sodium in these little packets. Ramen is a sometimes treat, not an everyday food.

While writing up the nutritional information for this item I was all ‘Hmmm, that’s some fat. But hey, trans fat free! And cholesterol free! Yeah’ and then I got to the sodium and realized that there would be no exclamations of pleasant surprise. Yes, if one eats the entirety of that sodium packet, that equals 3/4 of an adults daily sodium intake. But I don’t drink the ramen broth. Because it is too salty.

The flavor of Oriental ramen is the very definition of savory. It strikes the palate with such a strong sensation of umami. Because that’s all it is: pure umami. No chicken or beef or shrimp to confuse the tongue, just the zing of MSG, ah.

[Looking for some reviews of real ramen? Check out Ramen Ramen Ramen and Ramen Lovers. - Editrix]

Price: $7.98 on sale
Serving:1 Hot Pocket, 4.47oz.
Servings per box: 12
Calories: 350 per serving
Fat: 28%, 18g
Cholesterol: 8%, 25mg
Sodium: 33%, 780mg
Protein: 10g
Carbohydrates: 12%, 36g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 6g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Hot Pockets: Nothing.

Alex: Hot Pockets are one of today’s greatest culinary mysteries. What the hell is it? The box tells me that it’s pepperoni pizza. In all my years of life, I have never, ever seen a pizza in such a form. Pizza is round; this is pocketed.

Upon first examination of a Hot Pocket, you see two things. Some frozen pocket of dough, and a small piece of cardboard. You take the pocket, put it into what is called the “Crisp and Carry.” You microwave it for two minutes, let rest for two minutes, and eat.

This is where a mistake was surely made.

Two minutes after removing it from the microwave, I inspected my Pocket of Hotness. It looked good enough, so, I bit into it. When I broke the hard, oil soaked crust of the Hot Pocket, a wave of burning hot cheese and sauce oozed into my mouth. I immediately pitched the magma filled pocket into the garbage out of impulse. I went back, as I had bought the 12-pack, and got another one. I went through the same procedure, but this time I waited 5 minutes. Upon eating, I discovered something. Hot Pockets are gross.

The texture is gooey and crunchy, not a good combination in this case. The crust was soaked in the orange oil that had miraculously appeared from the pepperonis. Each bite was an explosion of heat, then disgust. According to the ingredients, “imitation mozzarella” is used. This fauxzzarella had none of the features of good mozzarella. It came out in little clumps in random places. The pepperonis were spongy, and they did their best to try to satisfy my meat needs. They failed miserably.

Let’s put it this way. If I was stuck on a desert island that happened to have a pepperoni Hot Pockets factory with an abundance of microwaves, and I had to eat something with pepperoni in it every seven minutes, or else I would die, I would consider having these.

P.S. While writing this review, I made another Hot Pocket, just to be sure. However, I forgot about it, and when I came back to it a half an hour later, it was a Cold Pocket.

DO NOT EAT HOT POCKETS COLD.