Price: $4.19 per box of 6
Serving: 1 corn dog, 2.67oz.
Calories: 180
Fat: 13%, 9g
Cholesterol: 8%, 25mg
Sodium: 22%, 540mg
Protein: 7g
Carbohydrates: 6%, 19g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 6g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 Points

Foster Farms says: Easy to heat & eat. They’re fun-tastic anytime! Foster Farms Corn Dogs have the “just right” combination of plump, juicy hot dogs dipped in honey crunchy batter.

Abi says: I think that sometimes people get these images of Silicon Valley that are glamorous or sweatshop-like and while both of those realities exist there is also the point where 40 people say on Facebook that they are going to show up for a dinner and the location is set as the San Jose Mall’s FOOD COURT and then only 6 people show up and you think to yourself ‘Am I really having a Jamba Juice for dinner? Really?’

Of course, at the mall (don’t worry, we have since gone to actual restaurants) I was briefly entranced by Hot Dog on a Stick. I’d forgotten that they even existed and while I wasn’t about to order a hot dog on a stick or a cheese on a stick (yes, it is real) I decided that I’d get some to eat at home.

The first lesson here is that packages of corn dogs are made for people with families. The first two stores I visited they only carried 36-packs. I wanted just a hit of county-fair nostalgia, not a month of it. Eventually I lucked out with a 6-pack for $4.19. I would have purchased the 36-pack (just $9.99!) and saved the gas money, but do you think I have room in my freezer for an enormous box of corn dogs? I do not.

Unlike many a Lean Cuisine, these are not low calorie. Fortunately, they’re made with chicken, not beef. You get a chicken dog and breading for 180 calories. With a beef hot dog you don’t get breading, but you still get 180 calories. Also, these come on a wooden stick, which is fun and will remind you of your childhood. But then you’ll end up thinking about it to much and get weirded out by the sheer oddness of eating a cornbread-wrapped piece of re-formed chicken impaled on a tiny blunt stake.

My preferred cooking method for these mirrors the somewhat complicated way that I make heat up Morningstar Mini Corn Dogs. I bake them in the oven for ten minutes, microwave them until they are hot inside (a minute) and then bake them in the oven for another few minutes to ensure the crispiness of the cornbread layer.

Yes, I use two appliances to make corn dogs. That is the beauty of working at home. The actual hot dog itself is pleasantly chewy, but it is another one of those things that you don’t want to think about for too long. Hot dogs are consumed because it is a national holiday with fireworks, you are at the beach or you are experiencing a salt deficiency, not because they have a fantastic mouthfeel.

The unsatisfactory part of this item was the cornbread coating. It was approximately a centimeter thick and overpowered the salt of the hot dog with sugar. This is what I get for buying Honey Crunchy flavor corn dogs. Honey Crunchy is a cereal, not a proper variety of meat product.

The next time I’m craving corn dogs, I’ll look for a brand that doesn’t involve cloying sweetness. If you have a preferred corn dog style or flavor, I’d like to hear about it.

Price: $1.52 + tax
Serving: 9oz
Calories: 240
Fat: 8%, 5g
Cholesterol: 2%, 5mg
Sodium: 37%, 900mg
Protein: 11g
Carbohydrates: 12%, 36g
Fiber: 16%, 4g
Weight Watchers Points: 4

Smart Ones says: A delectable Asian sensation of crisp, color vegetables and tender white meat chicken, simmered in a sweet and spicy blend of hoisin and soy sauces. So delicious, so satisfying . . . and another little way you can be good today.

Becky says: My husband and I swear on the Chinese buffet as being one of the best hangover cures. In our ‘really poor’ years, we lived on stir-fry, and sushi is my absolute most favoritest food in the world. Basically, it takes a lot for me to not like an Asian dish, fresh or frozen, and this meal teetered on the edge.

All in all, the components of this dish were all there, it’s just that the proportions were just a tad bit off . . . where were the veggies? The meat? All I got was a pile of noodles drenched in a salty, sweet, mildly spicy sauce, with a few pitiful-looking veggies thrown in haphazardly. On the label, they claim to include carrots, red bell pepper, zucchini, water chestnuts, celery, bok choy and bean sprouts. Well, what I saw were some carrots, a few pieces of zucchini and water chestnuts, some red mush (red bell pepper?), some green flecks (bok choy?), mushy greenish goo (celery?) and what looked like broken noodles (bean sprouts?). Add to that a couple pieces of finely diced chicken, and you’ve got yourself this meal.

The noodles, while too plentiful, were good, I’ll admit that. They cooked to the perfect consistency and temperature, even when a small personal crisis took me away from my desk for a few minutes, and I had to re-cook it for 30 seconds.

All in all, this dish reminded me that there is such a thing as bad Asian, and I’m not talking about the buffet. I take that back. This dish wasn’t horrible, it just wasn’t good enough for me to get it again. But if Smart Ones added more vegetables and cut down on the salt in the sauce, I’d add this one to my shopping list.

Price: $2.50 on sale
Serving: 1 meal, 9.5oz.
Calories: 180
Fat: 6%, 4g
Cholesterol: 13%, 40mg
Sodium: 34%, 820mg
Protein: 17g
Carbohydrates: 7%, 20g
Fiber: 7%, 2g
Sugar: <1g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 Points

Smart Ones says: You’ll love the home-style flavor of all-white meat chicken, smothered in a wine sauce that’s thick with mushrooms and onions, and served with a heaping helping of sour cream and chive mashed potatoes on the side.

Abi says: “Home-style flavor”? I feel sorry for anybody who regularly deals with home-cooking that tastes like this meal.

I’m more than a little angry with myself and Safeway right now. I can’t believe that I paid $2.50 for this waste of freezer space. I wanted a fast, pseudo-hearty meal. What I got was macerated chicken parts, forgettable sauce and unbelievably watery potatoes.

I suspected the horrifying nature of the chicken before the first bite. I could see that it was suspiciously shaped and lo and behold, the texture is that of a hot dog in cutlet form. I want a piece of chicken, not a ball game snack.

The sauce is mysteriously dark and did a relatively good job of covering up the chicken for the first couple of bites. Then I just gave up and went to hunt for a stick of string cheese. And the potatoes? They were so watery I wondered if I’d accidentally drenched them under the sink during the cooking process. Had I been sleepwalking? Did this meal actually come with a side of soup? No and no.

I can’t understand why anyone would eat this and feel so deprived when the perfectly acceptable (and only 1 more Point) Stouffer’s Baked Chicken Breast.

This is why eating Smart Ones makes me feel so dumb.

Price: $3.19
Serving: 1/9th pan, 1.55oz.
Servings Per Package: 9
Calories: 170
Fat: 11%, 7g
Cholesterol: 15%, 45mg
Sodium: 2%, 55mg
Protein: 2g
Carbs: 9%, 26g
Fiber: 6%, 1g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 per serving

Trader Joe’s says: Why gather all the ingredients and dirty a bowl when Trader Joe’s “Ready to Bake” Brownies are so unbelievably easy and so consistently delicious? Simply unwrap the oven-proof tray of batter in this box and bake in a preheated oven. Whether you prefer your brownies gooey in the center or baked until almost dry, these brownies will satisfy.

Abi says: Considering how much adore Trader Joe’s Chocolate Croissants and pre-made Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, you’d think I’d be all over their ready-to-bake brownies. They even have an additional advantage over the croissants and cookies in that they come with their own baking tray. However, this dessert fills me with a disappointment tempered with confusion.

The ingredients list looks pretty standard (Sugar, flour, butter, eggs, cocoa and vanilla - simple!), so the best I can figure is that unlike cookies, brownies don’t bake well from a frozen state. This is sad because brownies are nature’s foolproof dessert: they’re easy to mix by hand, simple to bake and test for doneness, loved by mankind. Yet, these brownies from Trader Joe’s went uneaten in my house. Sure, we each sampled a square. Then they just sat on the counter for the next couple hours, mocking me with their lack of deliciousness.

At the end of the night I noticed that even George had avoided the pan of brownies. Usually he manages to eat an entire row in the course of a couple of hours, but these baked goods bads went untouched.

I hope that their spot in the Trader Joe’s freezer is soon filled with another, more palatable item.