Price: $3.00
Serving: 9 oz.
Calories: 190
Fat: 12%, 8g
Cholesterol: 17%, 50mg
Sodium: 28%, 680mg
Protein: 19g
Carbohydrates: 4%, 11g
Fiber: 13%, 3g
Sugar: 3g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 Points

Smart Ones says: It’s a sophisticated dish with tender cuts of roast beef and portobello mushrooms, smothered in a tangy vermouth sauce, and a mix of crisp broccoli and cauliflower on the side. So delicious, so satisfying… and another little way you can be good today.

Sarah says: This meal sat in my freezer for quite a while. For some reason, there was always something else that seemed more palatable. But in my recent quest to get a hot body for the summer, I’ve been more careful with my caloric intake. Since I’m going out for dinner tonight, at only 190 calories this meal was the clear winner for lunch.

When I removed it from the microwave, I wasn’t overjoyed at the smell. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a bad smell per se, but it wasn’t amazing, either. I have to tell you though, I was pleasantly surprised at the taste! Ok, so the veggies needed a tiny bit of salt and pepper, but after that, this meal was none too shady.

The things I enjoyed, in list form:

1. The meat. The box didn’t lie, the roast beef was tender indeed. And delicious! And plentiful, and filling, and the list goes on and on. I have nothing but good things to say about the roast beef, which is good, since that is the name of this meal. Seriously Smart Ones, “Roast Beef?” Not, “Roast Beef and Vegetables?” Or even “Delicious Roast Beef?” You should talk to the people in your creative department. Or maybe hire me.
2. The vegetables tasted like real vegetables. I don’t really like the green stuff in general, so I’m extra picky when it comes to the frozen ones. But while I wouldn’t agree with the official description of “crisp,” I did think they were pretty good.

…And I guess that’s it. I liked the meat, I liked the veggies, and that’s pretty much all there was to this meal. The sauce wasn’t so bad either, though I wouldn’t call it “tangy.” All in all, for 190 calories, I feel full and decently satisfied. That’s what I look for in a microwavable lunch.

Oh, one final note - I don’t know if you can tell from the picture, but they definitely show little red things (Peppers? Tomatoes?) in the veggies. It was clear to me when I opened it up that that was a dirty lie. Sort of. I did find ONE of those little buggers (Conclusion: definitely a pepper) buried under a piece of broccoli. Frankly, this didn’t affect my judgment of the meal because I freaking hate peppers. AND tomatoes. But as a good reviewer, I thought I should alert you to this little fact. You’ve been warned, pepper-loving freaks.

Price: $3.00 on sale
Serving: 1/12 pan, 1.42oz.
Calories: 170
Fat: 12%, 8g
Cholesterol: 7%, 20mg
Sodium: 4%, 85mg
Protein: 2g
Carbs: 8%, 23g
Fiber: 4%, <1g
Sugar: 16g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 Points each

Duncan Hines says: First brownie that comes frozen and ready to bake, packaged in convenient, oven-ready trays - no prep and no clean-up necessary.

Abi says: After my disappointing experience with Trader Joe’s Ready to Bake brownies I wasn’t excited to try out the Duncan Hines variety. I don’t even like Duncan Hines’ boxed brownie mix: if I’m using a mix I prefer the Betty Crocker one that comes with a syrup pouch. But I knew that there was room in Josh’s freezer and these pre-mixed brownies were sale at Safeway. Frozen batter, how you tempt me.

Preparation was easy: preheat the oven, pop in the unwrapped tray and wait for 1/2 an hour. While waiting, the scent of cocoa filled the house, tempting those who made the rather unfortunate choice of giving up chocolate for Lent. I suppose that sort of sacrifice made Easter all the more awesome. When the brownies were done I sliced them into an inappropriate number of servings (10 instead of the recommended 12) based on there being 5 people in the brownie-eating pool. And then I put them on the coffee table and learned that these brownies are only appealing to drunk people. Perfectly sober people are not tempted by mediocre baked goods when outside of an office environment.

These are better than the Trader Joe’s brownies, but that’s akin to saying that gas station coffee is superior to dirty water. Only 4 brownies were consumed on the first go-round. The next night of basketball saw the consumption of just 3 more brownies. By Saturday evening I realized it was a lost cause and tossed the rest of the brownies. Will I ever find a pre-made brownie as good as anything on Anna’s brownie recipe list?

Price: $2.00 (on sale)
Serving: 1 snack, 2.25oz. plus water
Calories: 140
Fat: 9%, 6g
Cholesterol: 3%, 10mg
Sodium: 11%, 270mg
Protein: 6g
Carbs: 5%, 16g
Fiber: 2%, <1g
Sugar: 8g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 Points

Lunchables says: Little food for little hands. Lunchables Jr. is the perfect snack for your child who is always “on the go.” Made with wholesome ingredients, Lunchables Jr. provides fun that’s sure to keep your little one engaged.

Abi says: I admit it, when I first saw this Lunchables Jr. I thought “Yes, I want some Teddy Grahams, mozzarella and yogurt!” This is my ideal snack and I was worried that the folks at Lunchables were reading my mind. Who doesn’t love sweet crackers and cultured dairy products?

Then I had the misfortune to actually eat this meal/snack/overly plastic-coated item.

• Teddy Grahams: Pretty much the most delicious thing ever. Small animal-shaped carbohydrates win every time, be they generic animal crackers, cheese flavored fish or teddy-bear shaped graham crackers. Yum.
• Pasteurized Prepared Mozzarella Cheese Product: The name says it all. Oscar Mayer discovered a way to make mozzarella cheese inedible. This soft, flavorless-yet-offensive cheese was cut into slices, which confused the heck out of me. I guess they’re worried that small children will choke on standard string-cheese-style mozzarella. Fortunately, future choking risk is averted because this cheese will just make them hate mozzarella altogether.

• Strawberry Yogurt Flavored Dip - Naturally and Artifically Flavored: As Jess says “I’m not eating yogurt because I want fake food coloring. It looks radioactive.” In the case of this ‘Yogurt Flavored Dip’ the color is from beet juice. However, the flavor is both artificial and natural, and it is not artificially or naturally good. I gagged when I took a bite of the yogurt and realized that I was so far from the sink that if I wanted to spit it out I’d have further to travel than if I just swallowed it and promised my taste buds that I’d never do that again.

  The first ingredient in this dip is water. Plus, it only “contains less than 2% of dehydrated yogurt.” Is there some sort of ‘Don’t feed your kids real yogurt’ rule that nobody told me? And since when is BUTTER a way to flavor STRAWBERRY YOGURT? Also, after reading the ingredients list I had to Google Titanium Dioxide. Oh, I knew what it was (thank you, addiction to making art!), I just wasn’t sure what the heck it was doing in my food. I’m tired of eating things that also appear in the NIOSH Pocket Guide to Chemical Hazards. Titanium Dioxide belongs in sunscreen, paintings and forged maps, not my yogurt flavored dip.

All in all, I’m sure that small children (age 3-5 years) would adore this snack, which comes in a two-pack, which made it just a dollar. There are still two types of Lunchable Jr. left to consume and neither contains Strawberry Yogurt Flavored Dip, thank goodness.

Price: $4.19 per box of 6
Serving: 1 corn dog, 2.67oz.
Calories: 180
Fat: 13%, 9g
Cholesterol: 8%, 25mg
Sodium: 22%, 540mg
Protein: 7g
Carbohydrates: 6%, 19g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 6g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 Points

Foster Farms says: Easy to heat & eat. They’re fun-tastic anytime! Foster Farms Corn Dogs have the “just right” combination of plump, juicy hot dogs dipped in honey crunchy batter.

Abi says: I think that sometimes people get these images of Silicon Valley that are glamorous or sweatshop-like and while both of those realities exist there is also the point where 40 people say on Facebook that they are going to show up for a dinner and the location is set as the San Jose Mall’s FOOD COURT and then only 6 people show up and you think to yourself ‘Am I really having a Jamba Juice for dinner? Really?’

Of course, at the mall (don’t worry, we have since gone to actual restaurants) I was briefly entranced by Hot Dog on a Stick. I’d forgotten that they even existed and while I wasn’t about to order a hot dog on a stick or a cheese on a stick (yes, it is real) I decided that I’d get some to eat at home.

The first lesson here is that packages of corn dogs are made for people with families. The first two stores I visited they only carried 36-packs. I wanted just a hit of county-fair nostalgia, not a month of it. Eventually I lucked out with a 6-pack for $4.19. I would have purchased the 36-pack (just $9.99!) and saved the gas money, but do you think I have room in my freezer for an enormous box of corn dogs? I do not.

Unlike many a Lean Cuisine, these are not low calorie. Fortunately, they’re made with chicken, not beef. You get a chicken dog and breading for 180 calories. With a beef hot dog you don’t get breading, but you still get 180 calories. Also, these come on a wooden stick, which is fun and will remind you of your childhood. But then you’ll end up thinking about it to much and get weirded out by the sheer oddness of eating a cornbread-wrapped piece of re-formed chicken impaled on a tiny blunt stake.

My preferred cooking method for these mirrors the somewhat complicated way that I make heat up Morningstar Mini Corn Dogs. I bake them in the oven for ten minutes, microwave them until they are hot inside (a minute) and then bake them in the oven for another few minutes to ensure the crispiness of the cornbread layer.

Yes, I use two appliances to make corn dogs. That is the beauty of working at home. The actual hot dog itself is pleasantly chewy, but it is another one of those things that you don’t want to think about for too long. Hot dogs are consumed because it is a national holiday with fireworks, you are at the beach or you are experiencing a salt deficiency, not because they have a fantastic mouthfeel.

The unsatisfactory part of this item was the cornbread coating. It was approximately a centimeter thick and overpowered the salt of the hot dog with sugar. This is what I get for buying Honey Crunchy flavor corn dogs. Honey Crunchy is a cereal, not a proper variety of meat product.

The next time I’m craving corn dogs, I’ll look for a brand that doesn’t involve cloying sweetness. If you have a preferred corn dog style or flavor, I’d like to hear about it.