Price: $1.49
Serving: 3/4 cup, 2.5 oz.
Servings in Container: 2
Calories per serving: 160
Fat: 12%, 8g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 12%, 290mg
Protein: 1g
Carbohydrates: 7%, 20g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 Points

Ore-Ida says: Introducing new Ore-Ida Extra Crispy Easy BreakFast Potatoes - deliciously crispy on the outside, light and tender on the inside. Specially prepared diced potatoes are tucked between an upper and lower crisping sheet and the heat from your microwave cooks them to crispy perfection in just FOUR minutes.

Abi says: Dang it. I didn’t read the back of the box before I cooked these. Yes, I read the instructions, but I missed this important tip:

Did you know that you could prepare an egg or bacon in the box with Easy BreakFast potatoes and cook a complete breakfast in the box in just minutes?

Does this mean that I should throw a raw egg in the box and microwave it all at once? Are they serious? Being the intrepid food reviewer that I am, I had to track down this egg and/or bacon-making recipe. It turns out that Ore-Ida (which is a combination of Oregon and Idaho, the two great potato producing states) has an entire recipe section. They claim “If you think Ore-Ida® fries taste great on their own, you’ll love them in one of our recipes designed to truly make mealtime special and delicious.” Does telling me how to microwave an egg in your special cardboard container really make mealtime special and delicious?

Actual Instructions from Ore-Ida website:

• 1 box Ore-Ida® Extra Crispy Easy BreakFAST Potatoes
• 1 strip bacon

One strip of bacon? You’ve got to be kidding me. Oh, I guess you’re supposed to cut the bacon in half, making it two strips of bacon:

Lift black tab on box and tear along dotted lines saving the top. MOVE frozen BreakFast Potatoes in single layer to outer edges, leaving a 3 inch open space in center. CUT 1 thin slice of bacon in half, and PLACE the 2 bacon halves side by side in open space. Put top on box silver side down. Push top down into carton flat on top of Easy BreakFast Potatoes™. MICROWAVE on HIGH for 4 minutes and 15 seconds.

If I’m picturing this correctly, your breakfast is going to be a ring of doughnuts (can you tell what I’m craving right now?) potatoes surrounding a single, shrunken slice of bacon. And considering that Ore-Ida thinks there are two servings in the container, you each get a bit of potatoes and half a slice of bacon. That is one of the dumbest breakfast ideas I’ve ever read. Considering that these potatoes aren’t all that great (as in bland, boring and overpriced. Okay, pretty much the least delicious frozen potato item I’ve ever encountered.), I think I’ll stick to the oven-baking method for my Ore-Ida products. It is definitely worth the extra time if you want pre-prepared crispy-on-the-outside, creamy-on-the-inside breakfast potatoes.

Price: $2.50
Serving: 1/2 cup, 4oz.
Servings per pouch: 2.5
Calories: 150 per serving
Fat: 9%, 6g
Cholesterol: 2%, 5mg
Sodium: 31%, 740mg
Protein: 6g
Carbs: 6%, 19g
Fiber: 5%, 1g
WW Points: 3 per serving

Kitchens of India says: Dal Burkhara is a signature dish created by the Master Chefs of ITC Hotels, following the ancient Bukhara art of open air cooking. Whole black gram lentils are simmered in thick tomato gravey for hours, bringing out the robust flavours of authentic Indian Cuisine.

Abi says: Dal is a go-to comfort food. It is warm, piquant, colorful, and filling. These sensory pleasures are all bonuses on chilly, gray Fall days like today. Kitchens of India black gram lentils curry (aka dal) succeeds on all fronts, delivering hearty deliciousness in a bright ochre sauce.

A single serving of dal is half of the package, but I say “Be wild, consume it all!” especially if you’re eating the dal for lunch and not in a situation where it is easy to share. Each pouch contains about a cup of dal, which does not seem like a lot until you realize that dal is essentially lentils and lentils are protein rich and you are very, very full.

When eating this meal in the office I just pour the entire pouch into a tupperware-like container and put it in the microwave (covered with a paper towel to avoid splattering). Because the package is shelf-stable (aka not frozen) my food is ready in just a couple of minutes. At home I usually pour the pouch into a saucepan and let it simmer on the stove for a few minutes, pretending that I’ve actually done some cooking.

If you have a few saucepans and you’re already getting hives from the though of cooking an enormous holiday feast, just pick up a few different shelf-stable Indian foods from your local store, some garlic naan (we like Trader Joe’s Garlic Naan) and heat up some simple food hearty enough to combat falling leaves and chilly nights.

Price: $2.50
Serving: 1 Pot Pie, 8oz.
Calories: 160
Fat: 6%, 4g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 20%, 490mg
Protein: 17g
Carbs: 9%, 27g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 Points

Amy’s Kitchen says: We’ve created a meatless, dairy free and lower fat version of this traditional meal. Organically grown vegetables are simmered in a nourishing broth and blanketed with fluffy mashed potatoes.

Jess says: The name Shepherd’s Pie invokes, for me, cannibalism. This is very likely due to my too early exposure to Sweeney Todd as a youth. Really, what was my elementary school teacher thinking?! Now I’m always left to wonder if the spirit of some innocent tradesman is lying restless in my meat pies. But thankfully, the Amy’s brand caters to the more easily scarred, or morally/psychologically meataphobic among us. Amy’s shepherd’s pie box assures me that there is nothing that once had a heartbeat lying under that lovely thick layer of mashed potatoes (vegetable carnage/violence is a-ok with me and Amy). And lovely you are potatoes as you provide gentle starchy exfoliation to my tongue while still going down so smoothly! And how easily the potatoes absorb the gravy resting below for an extra oomph of salty savoriness (Amy calls the gravy “broth” but that is misleading and does not describe its heartiness).

Like an experienced ice-fisherman, I poke a whole through my potato layer to find a school of vegetables in that gravy sea. Carrots, and yes more potatoes, abound. Garbanzo beans too, chock-full. Who knows what a chock may be? But chock-full of veggies you are, Shepherd Pie. Delicious. Different. Nothing of the Hannibal about you! And maybe even good for me?

Despite the meager appearance of the Shepherd’s Pie it does an adequate job of holding off hunger. I think the potatoes might expand somewhere along the road to digestion. But holding off hunger should not be confused with filling. You’ll be hungry again soon enough:. I’d say 2 to 3 hours after consumption. I wish that there were someway to slightly brown the top of the potatoes which I think would add much to the eating experience so everything you’re eating is not just mushy and babyfood-esque in texture. There is this thing, an oven they call it, which might do the trick. I’m hoping to give this a try next time when heating up this item at home. I think that would boost this pie up to a 5. After all, fullness is always going to be temporary. Taste is paramount.

Price: $3.29
Serving: 1 eclair, 2oz.
Calories: 140
Fat: 6%, 4g
Sodium: 7%, 180mg
Protein: 3g
Carbs: 8%, 24g
Fiber: 5%, 1g

Smart Ones says: Chocolate lovers can enjoy this classic French dessert

Abi says: These eclairs were consumed during the BCS Championship. After approximately 14 points had been scored (4 minutes and 29 seconds into the game), George gave me one of those pleading, starving boyfriend looks and asked if we had any desserts in the house.

As though I am the keeper of desserts.

I informed him that a couple of eclairs were defrosting on the counter. Okay, maybe I am the keeper of desserts. Anyways, these little guys need to be defrosted in the microwave or left out on your counter for an hour. Okay, maybe 45 minutes. I can’t remember the exact amount of time, but at the end of the review you’ll realize that doesn’t matter anymore.

Prior to defrosting the eclair, I had to remove a plastic overwrap. Along with this overwrap I took off about half of the chocolate frosting from one of the eclairs. This minus-chocolate eclair would turn out to be mine. George is a chocolate fiend.

Unfortunately for him, the chocolate coating the top of the eclair turns out to be a grainy mess of psuedo-chocolate flavored ooze. Yes, it is that bad. I felt like I was being punished instead of being treated to a dessert. And this is a diet dessert. I should feel virtuous while eating this. Instead, I just felt dirty.

These desserts also contain very little cream filling. At first I was disappointed, then I realized that the filling is rather bland. Other good words from the thesaurus: flat, flavorless, vanilla. I wish I could say the cream filling was vanilla. One of these chalky, flavorless eclairs is 140 calories and 3 Weight Watchers points. Three freaking points! A Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwich is just 2 points. Two points! My friend Kate (who is a Gator) says that the Skinny Cow Ice Cream sandwiches are very good. I trust her. I do not trust people who advocate for the purchase of these eclairs. They are nasty. Who else doesn’t like them? San Antonio’s Nuclear family, that’s who.

If you’re reaching for a diet dessert, stay away from these frozen abominations.

P.S. What kind of lame tagline is that anyways, Smart Ones? “Chocolate lovers can enjoy this classic French dessert”. Oh, we can? Thanks, thanks a lot. I’m sure that the French also enjoy seeing their culture abused in this way.

Stupid fake dessert.