Price: $4.19
Serving: 1 pouch, 3.25oz.
Calories: 70
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 0mg
Protein: 5g
Carbohydrates: 4%, 13g
Fiber: 16%, 4g
Sugar: 4g
Weight Watchers Points: 1 Point

Birds Eye says: The bags inside this package are special. Simply place one in your microwave and watch it inflate as it perfectly steams your vegetables right in the bag! Your vegetables retain their natural goodness, crisp texture and fresh taste. Steaming with Birds Eye has never been easier.

Abi says: I bought these peas because I thought it’d be good to branch out from Green Giant’s vegetable monopoly on Heat Eat Review. Also, I was curious as to whether these peas would be better than the 99¢ bags of peas that I usually use. Would I really notice that steaming was better than boiling or microwaving in a bit of water?

Uh, no. These peas are no better than the cheap ones from the bag. They taste just like every other frozen pea product I’ve ever had in my life. Really, this product is just the 100-Calorie Portion version of vegetables. Except that plain vegetables are low calorie in the first place. Have you ever heard of anyone getting fat off of plain sweet peas? Probably not.

Sure, these peas were fine, but they weren’t worth four times the price of regular peas. Also, they didn’t do anything to speed up my couscous-making process. Usually I throw in the peas just before the water boils, giving them time to heat and steam along with the couscous, a process faster than heating the peas separately in the microwave.

“But Abi,” you’re saying “won’t these peas be great for me as a person who work in an office? I can just steam a few at a time!” and to that I say “Get yourself one of those Green Giant vegetable packages. They contain two servings and involve vegetables that you can actually stab with a fork.”

Price: $1.99
Serving: 1 container, 7.4oz.
Calories: 340 per serving
Fat: 4%, 2.5g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 0mg
Protein: 7g
Carbs: 24%, 22g
Fiber: 12%, 3g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 Points

Trader Joe says: He doesn’t say this exactly, but I will paraphrase for you. Well, paraphrase if it meant “Taking longer to explain something that it would just take you to read it off the pakage, but the print is small so you just have to trust me on this one.” You can cook Trader Joe’s pre-cooked organic brown rice on the stove or in the microwave. The stove version involves submerging the entire package in boiling water for 10 minutes. If you have to resort to something like that, maybe you should just consider investing in a microwave or becoming friends with a microwave-owning neighbor.

Abi says: Whenever I eat brown rice I think of colon cancer. I don’t even know if there’s a link between colon cancer and fiber, but that’s what I think about. I also think about how I’m being a taste martyr for my colon. Because brown rice isn’t particularly tasty. Not that I eat it solo, but still, when you say brown rice is the first thought in your head:

1. Yum
2. Ugh
3. While not the tastiest thing on the planet, it is probably better for digestion than that fragrant jasmine rice I wish I was eating instead.

Hmmmm? I find this style of eating particularly depressing, the whole “I will eat this because it is good for me even though it tastes bad.” mantra is abominable. I only ate this because I purchased it. And I only purchased it because I have a sick fascination with shelf-stable items (see super-scary Taco Bell Bowlz Review by Andrew) and I like to eat rice with my from the pouch Indian food. Basically, it was a back-up for a time when I would be without Trader Joe’s Garlic Naan.

A suitable back-up it was not. This was the least delicious brown rice I’ve had in my life. This is saying something because I’ve been consuming a lot of brown rice lately. This is also my third little tray of pre-cooked rice (the others were white and brown) and I’ve found that they are all unbelievably sticky and soggy. Frozen rice just completely kicks shelf-stable rice’s butt. Not that you should be buying frozen rice if you own a rice cooker or you rock at making rice, but coming from a household where a certain loved one cannot let a pot of rice cook without lifting the lid and stirring it ALL THE FREAKING TIME, microwaveable frozen rice is a godsend. Also, it is ready in 3 minutes, which is just 90 more seconds than it takes to heat the gummy shelf-stable rice. Alas, I have not yet reviewed the incredible frozen rice, so for now all I will do is offer you a picture and say “Go, buy this frozen rice in the purple box. Keep it in your freezer. Do not be alarmed when you decide that paying 10 times too much for rice is perfectly acceptable because it is so amazingly speedy and delicious.”

Price: $4.99
Serving: 1/3 pizza, 4oz.
Calories: 260
Fat: 12%, 8g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 20%, 490mg
Protein: 6g
Carbs: 14%, 42g
Fiber: 10%, 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 5 per serving

Trader Joe says: This is a truly special pizza. It starts with a hand-stretched crust made with organic flour and extra virgin olive oil which is topped with organic sweet carmelized onions, shiitake mushrooms, red peppers and artichoke hearts, and ultimately baked to perfection. There is no cheese, so it’s dairy free.

Kelly says: I like shopping at Trader Joe’s because they so often have really terrific foods for unbelievably low prices. Good examples of this are vanilla, cheese, and meat. Not that those things go together, but they can all be really expensive if you buy them at a regular grocery store.

Oh, you haven’t been to Trader Joe’s? You don’t have one in your vicinity? Then I weep for you, dear people lacking the place that I consider shopping heaven. Well, except on weekends when it is filled with couples shopping. Sorry folks, but I don’t need to see you canoodling near the deli case. I’m at TJ’s to get hummus, not see a lot of unnecessary PDA.

So, about that pizza… It comes in a couple bucks cheaper than the equivalent Amy’s Kitchen pizza, while providing similarly superb quality. The same sweet onions, the rare bits of roasted pepper, the delightfully chewy crust, they’re all present in this knock-off pizza. Though really, all I want is something pizza-like that I can eat without feeling like a complete fat-ass. Something that’s better than one of those lame Lean Cuisine pizzas. On that count, Trader Joe’s Roasted Vegetable pizza delivers. While some people might say that this contains a surprising amount of fat, I say “It’s a freaking pizza. Eat an apple if you want something fat free.”

Not so shocking in the case of these gourmet pizzas, Trader Joe skimped on the toppings. Could we get some more artichoke hearts, please?* And some more peppers? And mushrooms? Sure, in the photo it looks as though there are a lot of toppings on that pizza. A closer look reveals enormous swathes of unadorned crust. Uh, I wanted some pizza, not some crazy-expensive crust. A doubling of the vegetable toppings is definitely in order before this pizza hits the 5 star level. Seriously, look at the box and then look at the pizza. They aren’t even in the same gene pool.

But for all of that whining, I have to admit that this is quite the frozen food. If you’re in the mood for something a bit different or if you’re entertaining a lactose intolerant friend, try this pizza! Conversely, if you’re at Trader Joe’s groping your boyfriend while simultaneously blocking the pizza section, please so kindly get the hell out of my way. Thanks.

*What happens to the rest of the artichoke when the heart is harvested?

Price: $2.50
Serving: 1 Pot Pie, 8oz.
Calories: 160
Fat: 6%, 4g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 20%, 490mg
Protein: 17g
Carbs: 9%, 27g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 Points

Amy’s Kitchen says: We’ve created a meatless, dairy free and lower fat version of this traditional meal. Organically grown vegetables are simmered in a nourishing broth and blanketed with fluffy mashed potatoes.

Jess says: The name Shepherd’s Pie invokes, for me, cannibalism. This is very likely due to my too early exposure to Sweeney Todd as a youth. Really, what was my elementary school teacher thinking?! Now I’m always left to wonder if the spirit of some innocent tradesman is lying restless in my meat pies. But thankfully, the Amy’s brand caters to the more easily scarred, or morally/psychologically meataphobic among us. Amy’s shepherd’s pie box assures me that there is nothing that once had a heartbeat lying under that lovely thick layer of mashed potatoes (vegetable carnage/violence is a-ok with me and Amy). And lovely you are potatoes as you provide gentle starchy exfoliation to my tongue while still going down so smoothly! And how easily the potatoes absorb the gravy resting below for an extra oomph of salty savoriness (Amy calls the gravy “broth” but that is misleading and does not describe its heartiness).

Like an experienced ice-fisherman, I poke a whole through my potato layer to find a school of vegetables in that gravy sea. Carrots, and yes more potatoes, abound. Garbanzo beans too, chock-full. Who knows what a chock may be? But chock-full of veggies you are, Shepherd Pie. Delicious. Different. Nothing of the Hannibal about you! And maybe even good for me?

Despite the meager appearance of the Shepherd’s Pie it does an adequate job of holding off hunger. I think the potatoes might expand somewhere along the road to digestion. But holding off hunger should not be confused with filling. You’ll be hungry again soon enough:. I’d say 2 to 3 hours after consumption. I wish that there were someway to slightly brown the top of the potatoes which I think would add much to the eating experience so everything you’re eating is not just mushy and babyfood-esque in texture. There is this thing, an oven they call it, which might do the trick. I’m hoping to give this a try next time when heating up this item at home. I think that would boost this pie up to a 5. After all, fullness is always going to be temporary. Taste is paramount.