Price: $2.50 (oh sales)
Serving: 1 set of 4, 1.62oz.
Calories: 140 per serving
Calories from Fat: 50 per serving
Fat: 8%, 5g
  Saturated Fat: 8%, 1.5g
  Trans Fat: 0g
Cholesterol: 5%, 15mg
Sodium: 11%, 270mg
Protein: 2g
Carbohydrates: 7%, 21g
Fiber: 2%, <1g
Sugar: 9g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 POINTS

Eggo says: Start your day at the top with Eggo Bake Shop™ Chocolate Chip Mini Muffin Tops. They’re a sweet chocolatey treat that toasts up golden brown in a jiffy, so you can grab them on the go!

Abi says: Some folks out there detest Eggo Waffles. I think Eggos have a time and a place. Sure, I generally prefer a waffle with larger butter pockets, but I’ll happily consume a couple of Eggo waffles for breakfast. I’m telling you this so you know where I’m coming from on these “mini muffins.”

First thought: “Wow, when did I become dumb enough to buy something like this?” Sure, I didn’t get perfect scores on my SATs (which now that I think about it were half my lifetime ago, OMG), but I should know better than to purchase a non-waffle product from the Eggo people. These things are supposed to be “muffin tops” but they look like undercooked pancakes.

Second thought: “These are not chocolate chips!” They did not look like chocolate and resembled smithereens, not chips. If Eggo Mini “Muffin Tops” were made of diamonds, then we would say that they were chips. If they were made of potatoes we would say that the chocolate was crumbs. The size of a ‘chip’ is all relative:

These are not diamonds, they are chocolate. Someone please get the Eggo people a size chart.*

Third thought: “How long do I cook this thing for, anyways?” Fortunately for me, Eggo has included a helpful set of instructions and a chart. And bolding – because the world is going to end if you try to heat more then ONE set of “muffin tops” at a time.

(These directions apply to heating ONE set of four Mini Muffin Tops)

1. Remove ONE set of four Mini Muffins Tops from plastic wrap.
2. Place product on microwave-safe plate.
3. Microwave for time intervals shown for the various power settings as shown on the chart.
4. Microwave ovens vary in their heating properties. Heating times shown are approximate.

My microwave is tiny and weak, so I cooked these guys for 14 seconds. The result was a piping hot disc of interconnected rubbery dough dollops with the occasional renegade ice crystal. Have you ever reheated a pancake in the microwave? Yes? Then you know what I speak of when I say rubbery. On one hand I wonder if the problem is that I microwaved something that was probably meant to be toasted. On the other hand, why put microwave instructions on something that you’re not supposed to microwave? On the third hand, do you ever toast muffins? If I’m after a hot muffin I just put it in the microwave for a few seconds. I don’t try toasting it. Toasting a muffin in anything other than a toaster oven (and even in one of those) is pretty much the same as saying ‘Hey fate, howabout setting my kitchen on fire this morning?’

In the end I was left with three more ‘chocolatey’ mini muffin top sets that not even my husband would eat. And he eats burnt cookies.

*Yes, mini chocolate chips are smaller than regular chocolate chips, but these things aren’t even the size of mini chocolate chips.

Ingredients: Enriched flour (wheat flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamin mononitrate [vitamin B1], riboflavin [vitamin B2], folic acid), water, sugar, vegetable oil (soybean oil, palm oil, and palm kernel oil with TBHQ and citric acid for freshness), eggs, semisweet chocolate (sugar, chocolate, cocoa butter, dextrose, chocolate processed with alkali, soy lecithin, artificial flavor), leavening (baking soda, sodium aluminum phosphate, sodium acid pyrophosphate, monocalcium phosphate), contains two percent or less of salt, calcium carbonate, natural and artificial flavor, whey, cornstarch, confectioner’s glaze, soy lecithin, vitamin A palmitate, niacinamide, reduced iron, pyridoxine hydrochloride (vitamin B6), thiamin hydrochloride (vitamin B1), riboflavin (vitamin B2), Vitamin B12.

Price: $2.00 on sale at Ralphs
Serving: 10oz.
Calories: 290 per serving
Fat: 11%, 7g
Cholesterol: 6%, 20mg
Sodium: 26%, 630mg
Protein: 15g
Carbohydrates: 14%, 41g
Fiber: 8%, 1g
Sugar: 7g
Weight Watchers: 6 POINTS

Lean Cuisine says: Tender macaroni in a creamy cheddar cheese sauce.

Jackie says: This macaroni and cheese was doomed from the start. While it was rotating in the microwave, one of my co-workers and I started talking about good mac and cheese…restaurant or homemade mac and cheese…the kind I daydream about. It doesn’t help that I had these amazing pork belly skewers earlier this week and nothing has tasted good since. Plus I am in one of those moods where nothing really sounds good, so I just eat whatever’s easiest to make. Which, today, was Lean Cuisine Macaroni & Cheese.

First, the cheese – if you can call it that. The cheese is watery and velveeta-like. The closest similar item in the natural world is hot paste loaded with orange food coloring. It needed salt! But I didn’t want to add any because it already has quite a bit of sodium – a quarter of my daily sodium needs in just 10 ounces of food. Plus, the ingredients list is scary (three versions of sodium phosphates!). The noodles were decently firm, but did not redeem this mac ‘n’ cheese. I am so bored by this dish I think I may take a nap now.

Zzzzzz….Huh? Wha? Oh. Anyway – if you want “healthy” mac n cheese, try the Smart Ones Macaroni and Cheese – it’s not awesome, but it’s better than this one. And if you want amazing mac ‘n’ cheese, go to a restaurant or make it yourself.

Note from the editor: Or if buy Trader Joe’s Macaroni and Cheese, the most marvelous frozen macaroni and cheese in existence.

Price: $2.50 for two (on sale)
Serving: 1 dessert, 2.64oz
Calories: 170 per cake
 Calories from Fat: 30
Fat: 5%, 3g
 Saturated Fat: 7%, 1.5g
 Trans Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 2%, 5mg
Sodium: 4%, 100mg
Protein: 3g
Carbohydrates: 11%, 32g
Fiber: 5%, 1g
Sugar: 15g
Weight Watchers: 3 POINTS

Smart Ones says: Low-fat cookie-flavored ice cream over a crumbly cookie crust topped with fudge sauce with cookie dough crumbles

Abi says: I’m not sure I can ever again convince myself to purchase a Smart Ones frozen dessert. Sure, the cookie dough was the same as every other mass-produced ’safe’ cookie dough, but the ice cream was a glutinous goo that stuck to my gums.

Accidents aside, I think I’m getting a little better at making short videos. Advice appreciated!

Price: $4.99 (ow)
Serving: 1 package, 12oz
Calories: 300 per serving
 Calories from Fat: 80
Fat: 12%, 8g
 Saturated Fat: 10%, 2g
 Trans Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 17%, 50mg
Sodium: 25%, 590mg
Protein: 15g
Carbohydrates: 13%, 40g
Fiber: 36%, 9g
Sugar: 18g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 POINTS

Healthy Choice says: Comfort food’s all-star: Meat loaf and savory brown gravy with creamy mashed potatoes, green beans, and apple-cranberry crisp deliver 15 grams of protein.

Abi says: I tend to stay far away from highly processed meat products. In this instance, Healthy Choice reminds me why that’s a good survival strategy.

This is my first video in a long, long time, so I don’t think I’ve done a very good job describing the food. If I manage to make one video every week, then I should get better at this. Also, the beginning of the video got all wonky during the upload process and I’m tired of messing around with it…so here you go!