Price: $2.00 on sale
Serving: 1/2 bowl, 3oz. plus water
Calories: 150 per serving
Fat: 2%, 1.5g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 30%, 730mg
Protein: 5g
Carbohydrates: 10%, 30g
Fiber: 5%, 1g
Sugar: 20g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 per serving, 6 per bowl

Betty Crocker says: A warm delicious, single-serve dessert that’s ready in minutes straight from your microwave! Now you can treat yourself to a warm indulgent dessert without all the preparation, time and clean-up!

Andrew says: First of all, I must offer my most humble apologies to Ms. Crocker for flubbing her simple instructions on assembling this mini cake. The gist of it is, you dump a packet of chocolate cake mix into the provided bowl with a quarter cup of water and mix well, then pour the soft, gooey caramel icing in pretty patterns on top of the well-mixed batter and heat, uncovered, in a microwave for about a minute and a quarter.

What happened is this: I fumbled with some measuring cups (yeah I know you should use a measuring glass for liquids, that’s beside the point) and found the one-third cup cup, for some reason completely forgetting Betty’s words. I didn’t realize my folly until well after I’d added the ample caramel goo. No matter, I thought, we shall press on for science.

Speaking of caramel, the icing is really very nice: sweet and warm and more than enough to coat the top of your mini cake batter. What happens as it “bakes” in your microwave is that the batter churns up underneath the caramel goo and swirls it throughout the nascent cake. This pleases me.

Once the cake is done, it really is advisable to — as the packaging says — let the cake sit for at least 5 minutes before consuming it. The cake got awfully hot for only spending 1 minute, 19 seconds in my microwave at approximately 780 feet above sea level (science!). Warm caramel and chocolate = good. Scalding hot caramel and chocolate = hospital.

When it was cool enough to eat — but still quite warm — I was heartened at the results, even in spite of my measuring mishap. The cake itself was very, very, very moist. The chocolate is subtle and melds well with the caramel. Even though the cake itself is chocolate, you’ll notice the name of the cake makes no reference to its chocolate nature; the caramel is the star.

In fact, as I worked my way around the rim of the cake bowl and toward the middle, I found a quadrant of the pastry that was about 70 percent caramel goo and 30 percent chocolate goo. This, too, pleases me.

All in all, this is a good way to spend about 10 minutes from start to last moist forkful, particularly if you’ve got a hankerin’ for warm, sweet, choco-caramel goo fusion.

Price: Provided by Gits Foods
Serving: 1/2 pouch, 5.3oz.
Calories: 224 per serving
Fat: 25.4%, 16.5g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 22.2%, 534mg
Protein: 6.9g
Carbohydrates: 4%, 12g
Fiber: 4.8%, 1.2g
Sugar: 0g
Weight Watchers Points: 5 Per Serving, 10 Per Pouch

Gits says: A very popular vegetable curry made of a combination of fenugreek leaves, green peas & fresh cream. And much liked by connoisseurs. Along with the aromatic taste of the fenugreek leaves and the green peas, the natural delicate flavors of Methi Matar are enhanced by a subtle aroma of spices and seasonings. Its slightly chewing consistency creating a dish which is as tasy as it is wholesome.

Andrew says: A few weeks ago, if you would have told me I could eat delicious Indian food out of a non-refrigerated silver pouch, I’d have told you to take your lies elsewhere. Now, though, I know this is no lie.

I’d never had Methi Matar before I ate this, but I feel well-versed enough in the Indian spice set to tell you this is a very authentic tasting dish. I get the feeling, due to its simplicity, that this is a dish meant as a side, or as one in a series of savory, soupy concoctions to greedily sop up with flat bread, but even alone, it’s wonderful.

The fenugreek leaves (the methi) add kind of a bitterness, but the peas (the matar) are sweet. There’s cumin and cinnamon, there’s clove and nutmeg. It’s a cornucopia of wonderful flavors. And I can read all the ingredients on the back of the box. Oh yeah, it’s all natural, kids! All in a space-age silver pouch.

The peas make up the bulk of the body here, and they’re just fine. I happen to love peas, so, you know, this is a good deal. The whole dish is a deeper green than pea green, but the flavor is somewhat orange, if you get my meaning. It’s spicy and warm and it warms you up with its flavor. You could eat it straight with a spoon (as I was part of the time, for scientific purposes), but it really cries out for some kind of bread medium. I had the last bit of it with some crusty, locally made artisan bread due to a lack of naan in my home and it was good even with that.

If you can find this in the imported food/ethnic cuisine section of your local market and you’re down with tasty Indian dishes, give it a shot. You don’t even need freezer space!

As of this review, these products are only available at Amazon.com Gits Store in 10-packs, though it appears that this particular product is out of stock. The price comes to $2.13 a pouch and the products are all eligible for Super Saver Shipping. So, you could buy a whole lot of Indian food and a book and get your shipping for free!

Price: $14.80
Serving: 100 grams
Calories: 237 per serving
Fat: 25%, 16g
Protein: 14g
Carbs: 1%, 3g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 per 100g

Gerber says: Sein harmonischer Geschmack ist äusserst beliebt.

DB says: Ja! Ja! Es ist geil!

If you have ever tried to make a fondue at home you will love Gerber ready-to-heat-eat-and-review mix. It works every time.

The Swiss state department of cheese recommends avoiding all effort to locate the required authentic Gruyere and Vacherin in the United States or substituting these with inferior ingredients imported from countries like France. And even with the right cheeses it will require you years of practice to achieve what’s readily available in a foil pouch. Gerber manufactures a variety of fondues. The classic Emmentaler, Gruyere, Tilsiter and the moitié-moitié Gruiyere-Vacherin fribourgeois kinds are most popular.

You can microwave an individual fondue package, but a gas stove is required for the one tested here. The expensive ingredient in my fondue was the notorious cast iron Le Creuset pot and a warming trivet. It must be the absolutely heaviest kind. The authentic Swiss variant is not exported, so I bought mine in Geneva for about two hundred Swiss francs (150$). Use about 400 grams of fondue mix per well-fed person and high heat until the cheese is completely melted. Stir constantly. The fondue is now ready to eat. Keep it on the warming trivet, increasing or decreasing the heat to keep the fondue liquid but not too hot. Dip pieces of bread (Swiss-German) or boiled potatoes (Swiss-French style) into the cheese until you reached the bottom of the pot. The crusty remainder is called “La Religieuse” (”the nun”) and is the best part of any fondue. Scrape the bottom and consume with much licking your fingers.

A good fondue, such as the Gerber ready-to-heat-and-eat variety, naturally tastes like yummy cheese. As a bonus, your minuscule New York City apartment will smell like the Swiss alps. You’ll like it.

This review is courtesy Daniel Doubrovkine (aka DB), the brains behind FoodCandy.com, a social networking site for foodies. FoodCandy is a longtime supporter of HeatEatReview and featured editor Abi Jones in an early interview.

Price: $4.99
Serving: 1/3 pizza, 4oz.
Calories: 260
Fat: 12%, 8g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 20%, 490mg
Protein: 6g
Carbs: 14%, 42g
Fiber: 10%, 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 5 per serving

Trader Joe says: This is a truly special pizza. It starts with a hand-stretched crust made with organic flour and extra virgin olive oil which is topped with organic sweet carmelized onions, shiitake mushrooms, red peppers and artichoke hearts, and ultimately baked to perfection. There is no cheese, so it’s dairy free.

Kelly says: I like shopping at Trader Joe’s because they so often have really terrific foods for unbelievably low prices. Good examples of this are vanilla, cheese, and meat. Not that those things go together, but they can all be really expensive if you buy them at a regular grocery store.

Oh, you haven’t been to Trader Joe’s? You don’t have one in your vicinity? Then I weep for you, dear people lacking the place that I consider shopping heaven. Well, except on weekends when it is filled with couples shopping. Sorry folks, but I don’t need to see you canoodling near the deli case. I’m at TJ’s to get hummus, not see a lot of unnecessary PDA.

So, about that pizza… It comes in a couple bucks cheaper than the equivalent Amy’s Kitchen pizza, while providing similarly superb quality. The same sweet onions, the rare bits of roasted pepper, the delightfully chewy crust, they’re all present in this knock-off pizza. Though really, all I want is something pizza-like that I can eat without feeling like a complete fat-ass. Something that’s better than one of those lame Lean Cuisine pizzas. On that count, Trader Joe’s Roasted Vegetable pizza delivers. While some people might say that this contains a surprising amount of fat, I say “It’s a freaking pizza. Eat an apple if you want something fat free.”

Not so shocking in the case of these gourmet pizzas, Trader Joe skimped on the toppings. Could we get some more artichoke hearts, please?* And some more peppers? And mushrooms? Sure, in the photo it looks as though there are a lot of toppings on that pizza. A closer look reveals enormous swathes of unadorned crust. Uh, I wanted some pizza, not some crazy-expensive crust. A doubling of the vegetable toppings is definitely in order before this pizza hits the 5 star level. Seriously, look at the box and then look at the pizza. They aren’t even in the same gene pool.

But for all of that whining, I have to admit that this is quite the frozen food. If you’re in the mood for something a bit different or if you’re entertaining a lactose intolerant friend, try this pizza! Conversely, if you’re at Trader Joe’s groping your boyfriend while simultaneously blocking the pizza section, please so kindly get the hell out of my way. Thanks.

*What happens to the rest of the artichoke when the heart is harvested?