Price: $5.00
Serving: 2 slices, 5oz.
Calories: 380
Fat: 26%, 17g
Cholesterol: 10%, 30mg
Sodium: 41%, 980mg
Protein: 17g
Carbs: 14%, 41g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 9 Points

Freschetta says: Pre-sliced and covered with generous amounts of large-cut toppings and all natural cheese that complete the take-out pizza experience. Since each pizza is baked and served on a disposable tray, there is minimal oven mess and no pizza cutter to clean — truly giving moms the night off from cooking.

Abi says: This is my favorite frozen pepperoni pizza. Ever So far. The ratio of perfectly seasoned sauce to crisp yet soft crust to melty, stringy, ideally spread mozzarella is my own slice of pizza heaven.

The name of this item (Pepperoni Duo Pizza) suggests that this item is topped with two types of pepperoni. I have no idea whether or not this is true. Sure, half of the pepperoni slices appear to be slightly darker than the other half of the slices, but I could not detect a flavor difference. What I do know is that for our oven, ditching the included tray and baking this on a cookie sheet worked wonders for crispiness. Yes, readers have noted that their included tray worked just fine, but after the 10-Topping pizza experience I just didn’t feel like taking that chance. I have trust issues. And, as the photo above displays, I have a baking sheet that is the perfect size for this pizza.

Contrary to popular opinion, this pizza still requires some sort of cutting device to get through mozzarella. Are y’all infused with the magic ability that causes mozzarella cheese to separate at your command? I could use a talent like that, a talent that would probably come in handy more often than my ability to make toffee without using a candy thermometer.

Much like buttery almond toffee, Freschetta pizza must be infused with addictive substances. The evening we ate this pizza for dinner George took off for a study group and I decided that I was still hungry ravenous. So I ate the remaining two slices of the pizza. Yes, I ate 2/3 of this pizza. And it was awesome. I had no regrets. Well, except for when George got home from studying, opened the fridge, found it empty and said ‘Hey, didn’t we have some leftover pizza?’

“Oh,” I replied without looking up from my book. “I ate it. It was great.” And then I sighed with the contentment of a person full of truly fantastic pizza.

If you’re looking for a rising crust pizza that doesn’t have quite the puffiness of DiGiorno (or the huge pools of oil), try Freschetta’s pepperoni duo pizza. You won’t be sorry. In fact, you will be happy. And full of pizza.

P.S. Previous comments have noted that Alton Brown suggests using a pizza cutter to cut brownies. This is an awful idea and probably the only opinion on which I’ve ever differed from Mr. Brown. The ideal brownie-cutting device is a dough scraper. Evidence is available at Big City Little Kitchen.

Price: $3.50
Serving: 1 cookie, 1oz.
Servings Per Container: 16
Calories: 120
Fat: 9%, 6g
Cholesterol: 16, 20mg
Sodium: 2%, 60mg
Protein: 1g
Carbohydrates: 6%, 17g
Sugar: 8g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 Points

Trader Joe says: No Preservatives, no artificial colors, no artificial flavors

Abi says: I adore Consumer Reports Magazine. Not because they tell me the best car, vacuum cleaner or microwave to purchase. Or because they let me know when it makes the most sense to pay extra for organic foods, but because they completely agree with me when I state that the Trader Joe’s Chunky Chocolate Chip Cookie dough makes the best pre-made (mixed?) cookies in existence.

No, they still aren’t real homemade cookies, but you’d be hard-pressed to find someone that could tell the difference between these and a batch made with the recipe off the back of a package of Toll House Chocolate Chips. Well, I guess the difference would be that these all cook up to a uniform size and degree of doneness while homemade cookies have a greater element of individuality.

By using normal, non-industrial ingredients, Trader Joe’s manages to skirt all of the strange not-quite-made-with-butter pre-made cookie shortfalls. Check out this list of ingredient simplicity:

• Flour
• Chocolate
• Sweet Butter
• Sugar
• Brown Sugar
• Eggs
• Molasses
• Vanilla
• Salt
• Baking Soda

It is no coincidence that those are the exact same ingredients I use when I make chocolate chip cookies from scratch. Of course, now you’re probably thinking “If these are so simple, couldn’t I just make some regular cookies at home? From my own ingredients?” Well, you could. But then you’d be left with a pile of dirty dishes when you should be enjoying fresh from the oven caramel brown buttery chocolate chunk studded mounds of deliciousness.

And that would be a shame.

Price: $2.00
Serving: 1 meal, 9oz.
Calories: 290
Fat: 13%, 8g
Cholesterol: 18%, 55mg
Sodium: 29%, 690mg
Protein: 20g
Carbs: 11%, 33g
Fiber: 9%, 2g
WW Points: 6 Points

Smart Ones says: A medley of pasta, broccoli florets and white meat chicken in a creamy parmesan sauce

Adina says: I am becoming a Smart Ones convert. When I first sold my soul to the microwave meal gods started eating microwave meals, I though Smart Ones was the low man on the totem pole. Lean Cuisine had just come out with their fancy sleek box designs and I am a sucker for shiny things, even if it ultimately meant I was stuck with a 6 ounce lunch. And Healthy Choice just sounded like…such a healthy choice. Wow, marketers would have a field day with me.

But as the years passed and I realized that a Lean Cuisine would not get me past 2 PM and Healthy Choice was the devil, I started looking for other options. And Smart Ones really does one-up the other microwave meal brands on taste and noodles. And I don’t know if you can tell this by the reviews I do, but noodles are my life. I eat noodles at lunch and dinner almost every day. And not as a side dish, oh no. Noodles are always the star of my meal, the main attraction, the favorite child. The protein and vitamins are just the ugly step-children to the radiant white glow of the noodle. I would have sex with noodles if I could. I just don’t know how I can emphasize my noodle love enough. It is big love, people.

Anyway, now that I’m all hot and bothered, let me tell you about this meal. The rigatoni is thick and chewy and I am just constantly amazed that Smart Ones can get noodles to taste like that. To taste noodley but also different, like there is some special ingredient that is not included in my box of Muellers. Maybe steroids? Who knows, but whatever it is, Smart Ones noodles are always jacked up with taste and thickness. It must be steroids.

The rigatoni is covered in a creamy parmesan sauce robust in flavor. It has the perfect amount of pepper and seasoning, which is rare in a microwave meal alfredo-type sauce. Typically I find weight-watching alfredo sauces to be thin and peppery and soulless. But not this sauce, this beautifully crafted sauce. I can still taste it, and it doesn’t make me want to cry. I guess there is a first for everything, huh.

The broccoli was crisp and the chicken was tender, also a miracle in and of itself considering it is microwaved white meat. Have you ever microwaved real white chicken meat? Tell me it tastes good and I’ll show you a pig that can fly.

I just wish Smart Ones would give me a bit more bang for my protein buck. Generally, they tend to shrink all their meat in their meals for some reason, which is strange because their meat typically tastes really good. Are they trying to enforce slow chewing so that I ultimately eat less food? Are they really looking out for me and my sensitive gastrointestinal tract? Man, these people are freaking saints.

Anyway, I am going to go ahead and give this meal five stars because I can only hope that my firstborn turns out half as wonderful as this meal. Maybe other microwave meal companies will follow suit and make food that doesn’t suck. Here’s to tomorrow.

Price: $3.99
Serving: 1 croissant, 3oz.
Servings per Package: 4
Calories: 320 per croissant
Fat: 28%, 18g
Cholesterol: 14%, 40mg
Sodium: 11%, 270mg
Protein: 5g
Carbohydrates: 11%, 34g
Fiber: 6%, 1g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Trader Joe says: A good, flaky, buttery croissant is enough to make the staunchest dieter consider making an exception. Now, consider said croissant with a rich, dark chocolate center. Though the size of the box may lead you to believe that these are but a small luxury, we must warn you. Once proofed (allowed to rise) and baked, these croissants become a generously portioned indulgence.

Abi says: If you are going to be anywhere near a Trader Joe’s at any point this week and you are a lover of chocolate croissants, you absolutely, positively must purchase this item.

Over the years I’ve created a variety of rather poor chocolate croissant substitutes. There were Pillsbury Croissants wrapped around chocolate chips (weirdly buttery, but super easy), the Pepperidge Farm puff pastry with Ghirardelli chocolate (plenty of layers, annoying need for rolling pin, not buttery enough), and the old standby of just wrapping some chocolate in a tortilla, grilling it, and pretending that it is some sort of Mexican delicacy.

Nothing compares to this chocolate croissant, not the fresh ones from Breadline (usually overcooked) or the soggy ones from Heller’s in Mt. Pleasant (plenty of chocolate, but gummy dough) or even the nice but not-so-cheap gems from the Palo Alto Baking Company.

At just a buck a piece, you can enjoy fantastic chocolate croissants made baked in your home. Getting similarly delicious croissants from Williams-Sonoma will cost you $2.66 per croissant and you have to buy a box of 15 and pay for shipping, putting your actual per croissant cost at $3.23. But instead of paying 200% too much, you can fill your home with the delicious scent of fresh-baked pastry from Trader Joe’s, provided you have patience, an oven, and no pest problems.

You see, you’ll need to let these sit out overnight so that they can rise. So if you have ants, mice, or cockroaches, then these are not the frozen treats for you. You’ll need to let these croissants sit out overnight for a good 9 hours. They’re perfect for you late risers because all you have to do is take the risen croissants (already on a baking sheet), pop them in the oven, and 22 minutes later (your time may vary) you’ll have a couple of amazingly delicious breakfast pastries.