Price: $1.00
Serving: 1 package, 10 oz.
Calories: 500
Fat: 35%, 23g
Sodium: 41%, 990mg
Protein: 20g
Fiber: 12%, 3g
Carbs: 16%, 48g

Michelina says: Try our version of a Nordic masterpiece. Our lean ground beef meatballs are mildly spiced and simmered in a rich gravy flavored with sour cream, vermouth and Worchestshire. Dished up with a helping of tasty pasta, it’s a veritable smorgasbord!

Abi says: While teaching 3rd grade in South Texas, I occassionally ate a Michelina’s meal. I could easily have afforded any other brand of frozen meal, but for some reason I stuck with Michelina’s Lasagna. This explains why I ate a lot of Triscuits and string cheese for lunch.

If only I’d tried Michelina’s Swedish Meatballs back then. They are so definitely worth a dollar that I’m still in shock over how much I enjoyed eating this meal. For a buck you get 5 meatballs, a bunch of plain noodles, and creamy spiced sauce. Michelina’s has the unusual habit of keeping the sauce and noodles separate during the cooking process. This may be because they’re cheap or it may be because it keeps the noodles from getting too mushy.

While the phrase ‘flavored with sour cream, vermouth, and Worchestshire’ doesn’t get the saliva flowing, the actual effect of those ingredients in sauce is more than acceptable. Also, this is not a “veritable smorgasbord”. It is meatballs, sauce, and noodles. Michelina’s, please get a dictionary and note that “veritable” means “real or genuine” and “smorgasbord” means “an extensive array or variety”. When a meal consists of three common items, it is not a “veritable smorgasbord”.

And dear eaters, keep in that while you will be enjoying the one-buck-adventure, others near
you will merely see that you’re eating meatballs in white sauce out of a cardboard box.

So, if a hot guy sits in a cube next to you, perhaps you should avoid this one. No hot guy? Enjoy your dollar lunch and treat yourself to a cocktail or two at happy hour tonight.

Rereading this review, I considered writing the above paragraph like this:

So, if a hot person of the gender to which you are most attracted sits in a cube next to you, perhaps you should avoid this one. No person you may be attracted to? Enjoy your dollar lunch and treat yourself to a beer or cocktail or other non-gender-specific beverage and happy hour tonight.

It doesn’t flow as well, does it?

Price: $1.64 (sale at Giant)
Serving: 1 tray, 9 1/8 oz.
Calories: 380
Fat: 21%, 14g
Sodium: 37%, 880mg
Protein: 25%, 18g
Carbs: 15%, 46g
Fiber: 8%, 2g

Stouffer’s says: Rigatoni pasta stuffed with Italian sausage in a five cheese sauce

Nicole says: So, is stuffed rigatoni really that much more interesting than, say, ravioli? It appears that the stuffed pasta shell is supposed to have a ribbed texture, which gets a bit lost in the freezing-microwaving process. So are they really ribbed for her pleasure?

The pasta shell is a bit thicker than your typical ravioli, which makes each bite seem a bit more substantial. Plus, it is complemented by a sweet and spicy Italian sausage stuffing. The five cheese sauce thickens up well after a minute to cool (it comes out of the microwave thin and bubbly), and is an excellently creamy, cheesy contrast to the flavor of the sausage. This is from Stouffer’s “Classic Recipe” collection, which consists on rather small meals - ths meal comes in a box that’s about 5″ tall, 7″ wide and 1″ deep, and only contains 380 calories. However, as it is tasty and a bit rich, Italian Sausage Stuffed Rigatoni suffices for a light meal. This could find it’s place as a tasty Italian standard if you’re not always a big eater, especially with the nice price.

Price: $2.50 (sale)
Serving: 1 sandwich, 4.5 oz.
Calories: 480
Fat: 46%, 30g
Sodium: 35%, 830mg
Protein: 13g
Carbohydrates: 9%, 28g
Fiber: 6%, 1g

Jimmy Dean says: We take great tasting Jimmy Dean Sausage, combine it with a fluffy biscuit and other ingredients, to make a sandwich that’s hearty enough to fill you up. Jimmy Dean sandwiches also offer the variety that you’re looking for in your routine.

Abi says: I’d been looking forward to reviewing some non-oatmeal breakfast items for some time. Eventually Jimmy Dean sandwiches went on sale and I hopped on the sauasage train. Wow, that last sentence sounds so, so wrong. The sandwich in that picture was not consumed by me. That was George’s sandwich and he seemed to enjoy it. Before cooking my Jimmy Dean Sausage, Egg and Cheese Biscuit in the microwave, I decided to take out the cheese. For all of the supposed culinary tradition regarding cheese and eggs, they are really only supposed to be combined in the form of quiche. Jimmy Dean does not make quiche. If he did make quiche, I would probably tell you to stay away from that too.

Instead of quiche, Mr. Dean makes sausage-heavy items like this sandwich. While it could do in a pinch, I don’t think that I will ever eat another one in my life. Even on sale, the sandwiches are $1.25 each. If I’m going to splurge (health-wise) on a sausage biscuit sandwich, I might as well get a better one at McDonald’s.

Jimmy Dean’s biscuit was somewhat heavy and chewy, the sausage became rubbery in the microwave, and the egg wasn’t enjoying the party. If you really, really need to consume such a non-healthy breakfast item perhaps you’d be better served by going to McDonald’s.

On a non-nutritional note, Jimmy Dean played millionaire Willard Whyte in the 1971 James Bond movie, Diamonds Are Forever. Thank you Wikipedia!

Also, there is something insanely delicious about pork sausage. George and I try to stay away from pork and beef sausage, generally cooking with the healthier chicken or turkey varieties. But when it comes to breakfast, thanks for not being Jewish, mom.

(It is late and I am writing this after the Capitals’ incredible victory over the Rangers [Olie Kolzig had an amazing night] anyways, please pardon my poor punctuation. - Abi Jones, Ed.)

Price: $2.00 (sale at Giant)
Serving: 1 package, 1 pound
Calories: 620
Fat: 25%, 16g
Sodium: 58%, 1380mg
Protein: 28g
Carbs: 28%, 84g
Fiber: 24%, 6g

Hungry-Man says: Rigatoni Pasta with Hearty Meat Sauce Topped with Mozzarella Cheese with a Garlic Bread Stick

Nicole says: Are the rigatoni supposed to be jumbo or is the serving size of rigatoni supposed to be jumbo? The former would be a false claim, the latter would be right on. I’d say that this pasta-sauce-cheese serving is three times the size of those in Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice meals (the tray is not only wider but deeper,) and over twice the size of a Stouffer’s or Boston Market pasta serving.

This Hungry-Man meal also comes with garlic bread. We all know that microwaving bread for too long is not good. Don’t worry, you don’t add the bread to the microwave tray until the last 45 seconds of cooking. Yes, it stills turns out a bit soft and squishy, but it is palatable. I’d recommend a quick trip to the toaster oven for the garlic bread, if available.

The first thing I noticed after heating the meal was that the rigatoni around the edges was dried out and hardened. Even after stirring the cooked meal and waiting a few moments, these pieces (about 4) could not be properly revived. I still ate them in all of their chewiness. The cheese portion on top of the noodles is reasonable. I would use more cheese if I were making something like this at home, but I think we all know that I don’t MAKE any food at home. I heat it up. The sauce is tomato-ey and not too watery. The meat in the sauce actually impressed me - it is spiced with a bit of hot and a bit of sweet. Quite tasty, especially when you can tell just by taste that your meat sauce uses sausage-like meat versus plain old ground beef.

This meal tastes good and fills me up!