Price: $2.00
Serving: 1 meal, 9.8 oz.
Calories: 240
Fat: 9%, 6g
Cholesterol: 5%, 15mg
Sodium: 25%, 600mg
Protein: 19g
Carbs: 9%, 26g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
WW Points: 5 Points

Healthy Choice says: Wild Salmon Fillet Slices Over Penne Pasta & Broccoli Florets with Creamy Dill Sauce

Adina says: So it has been about 15 minutes since I’ve eaten this meal, and I am still alive. Amazing, since I just ate three full salmon fillets cooked in the microwave. There is something so unholy and seemingly unsafe about cooking raw fish to fruition in the microwave that I half expected to drop dead right there after the first bite. But I didn’t and haven’t and so I guess that means it is time for me to review this meal versus just sitting here, contemplating my sorry sack of a life.

I am having a hard time deciding which way to go with this review. On one hand, I didn’t die! (Plus!) On the other hand, I just ate microwaved salmon. (Minus.) I’m sort of full! (Plus!) But with microwaved salmon. (Again, minus.)

It wasn’t bad. It was the way cooked salmon usually tastes, maybe even a bit more tender than most salmon. And the overall meal wasn’t bad tasting. The sauce would have definitely been the poster child of Healthy Choice sauces if it weren’t for the dill. The dill actually pushed the taste a little beyond “well accented” into “I can’t feel my tongue and I am now having nightmares about a dill plant eating my face.” At first, I wasn’t that fond of the face eating dill plant feeling, but then I was like…well, it is dill. That is the way dill can be. And every now and then, it can be exciting and kind of delicious, even if it is in a Little Shop of Horrors kind of way.

My final word on this meal - if you don’t have a problem with eating microwaved fish, then this is the meal for you. It is fairly tasty and filling and yes, it makes your life flash before your eyes, but it flashes slowly, so it is not that bad. If you do have a problem with eating microwaved fish, like I apparently do, then don’t eat this meal. You will spend the next three hours thinking about all the things in your life that you are grateful for.

Price: $3.34 on sale
Serving: 1 tray, 8oz.
Calories per panini: 330
Total Fat: 14%, 9g
Saturated Fat: 13%, 2.5g
Trans Fat: 0g
Cholesterol: 12%, 35mg
Sodium: 23%, 540mg
Protein: 16g
Carbohydrates: 15%, 45g
Fiber: 12%, 3g
Sugar: 7g
Weight Watchers Points: 7 Points

Lean Cuisine says: Tortilla crusted fish with rice, poblano peppers, corn and red peppers in a sour cream sauce topped with cheese.

Abi says: Rather than figure out an elegant, simile-ridden way to describe this meal I will just tell you that the next time Lean Cuisine goes on sale, if you are remotely interested in eating fish, you should buy two boxes of Lean Cuisine’s Tortilla Crusted Fish. Maybe even three boxes. Especially if it is on sale at 3 for $10.00. Yes, that’s what constitutes a sale around here.

Sure, the name sucks. When do you hear the word crust and think ‘YUM!’ Personally, I hear it and envision morning eye gunk, lava and mocos. None of those are things that I want to put in my mouth. Fortunately for all of us, this simple, not-filling-but-still-delicious meal overcomes that name to leave me more pleased than I’ve felt in a long time. At least, when it comes to Lean Cuisine.

This meal proves that tortilla chips make anything better. The crusted fish fillet is actually crispy from the microwave. Crispy! Thank you, chips! And that rice with a couple of kernels of corn and what might be red pepper bits but might as well be bits of tissue paper is fantastic. It is creamy (thank you first microwaved sour cream sauce I’ve ever enjoyed in my 2-year reign as the queen of microwaved foods) and flavorful and sprinkled with yellow stuff that I’m assuming is cheese. Okay, I read the box, it is cheese. Look at all of that rice! Dang, I am in love with this meal.

This meal is not filling in that distended-stomach Marie Callender sense. Instead, I felt great for a couple of hours and then enjoyed an iced coffee. Because, hey! I had room in my stomach!

If you’ve had an unfortunate experience with this meal, I’d like to know. Did I get an amazing fluke Lean Cuisine or is this a new horizon for the leader in light lunches?

Price: $2.04 at Target
Serving: 1 Meal, 7.6oz.
Calories: 390
Fat: 17%, 11g
Cholesterol: 7%, 20mg
Sodium: 19%, 460mg
Protein: 14g
Carbohydrates: 19%, 57g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
Sugar: 16g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Kid Cuisine says: Just when you thought it was safe to finish the fish sticks -da dum, da dum - along come our fruit Gummy Shark Snacks. A whale of a meal!

Abi says: This meal wasn’t so much a lunch as an act of vengeance. If you’ve been doing some sinning lately (Fat Tuesday festivities and poor voting choices on Super Tuesday both come to mind), you could always choose this meal as part of a Friday Lenten penance. It must be worth at least 40 Hail Marys.

I am fortunate in knowing that this is probably the worst video I’ll ever make and the worst item I’ve ever consumed: it can only get better from here. Please leave comments below for future video subjects and suggestions for improvement.

Thanks,
Abi Jones