Price: $3.00
Serving: 9 oz.
Calories: 190
Fat: 12%, 8g
Cholesterol: 17%, 50mg
Sodium: 28%, 680mg
Protein: 19g
Carbohydrates: 4%, 11g
Fiber: 13%, 3g
Sugar: 3g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 Points

Smart Ones says: It’s a sophisticated dish with tender cuts of roast beef and portobello mushrooms, smothered in a tangy vermouth sauce, and a mix of crisp broccoli and cauliflower on the side. So delicious, so satisfying… and another little way you can be good today.

Sarah says: This meal sat in my freezer for quite a while. For some reason, there was always something else that seemed more palatable. But in my recent quest to get a hot body for the summer, I’ve been more careful with my caloric intake. Since I’m going out for dinner tonight, at only 190 calories this meal was the clear winner for lunch.

When I removed it from the microwave, I wasn’t overjoyed at the smell. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a bad smell per se, but it wasn’t amazing, either. I have to tell you though, I was pleasantly surprised at the taste! Ok, so the veggies needed a tiny bit of salt and pepper, but after that, this meal was none too shady.

The things I enjoyed, in list form:

1. The meat. The box didn’t lie, the roast beef was tender indeed. And delicious! And plentiful, and filling, and the list goes on and on. I have nothing but good things to say about the roast beef, which is good, since that is the name of this meal. Seriously Smart Ones, “Roast Beef?” Not, “Roast Beef and Vegetables?” Or even “Delicious Roast Beef?” You should talk to the people in your creative department. Or maybe hire me.
2. The vegetables tasted like real vegetables. I don’t really like the green stuff in general, so I’m extra picky when it comes to the frozen ones. But while I wouldn’t agree with the official description of “crisp,” I did think they were pretty good.

…And I guess that’s it. I liked the meat, I liked the veggies, and that’s pretty much all there was to this meal. The sauce wasn’t so bad either, though I wouldn’t call it “tangy.” All in all, for 190 calories, I feel full and decently satisfied. That’s what I look for in a microwavable lunch.

Oh, one final note - I don’t know if you can tell from the picture, but they definitely show little red things (Peppers? Tomatoes?) in the veggies. It was clear to me when I opened it up that that was a dirty lie. Sort of. I did find ONE of those little buggers (Conclusion: definitely a pepper) buried under a piece of broccoli. Frankly, this didn’t affect my judgment of the meal because I freaking hate peppers. AND tomatoes. But as a good reviewer, I thought I should alert you to this little fact. You’ve been warned, pepper-loving freaks.

Price: $4.59 (spendy!)
Serving: 2 sliders, 3.5oz.
Servings per Package: 2
Calories: 260
Fat: 15%, 10g
Cholesterol: 17%, 70mg
Sodium: 19%, 450mg
Protein: 16g
Carbohydrates: 8%, 25g
Fiber: 4%, 1g
Sugar: 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 Points

Trader Joe says: Beefy goodness

Abi says: When I pulled these out of my Trader Joe’s shopping bag, my fiance, a man who has been known to eat burnt cookies, $1.00 pizzas and mushrooms, looked at them with both disdain and disgust.

“Hey,” I said “these will either be awesome or they will be horrible. So I have to try them.”

He verbally agreed, shrugged and left me to the rest of my unpacking because our freezer is now like a game of Tetris and I’m the only one who really knows how to play (which is actually not true, my mom rocks at Tetris. It is scary how good she is.).

These hamburgers were neither super nor bad nor superbad. They were exactly what I’d expect from a microwaved slider. Each was smaller in diameter yet thicker than a KFC Chicken Little. The bun was incredibly soft and peppered with sesame seeds, which made me realize that I dislike sesame seeds on buns. They get everywhere: teeth, carpet, in your bra - I am not kidding about the bra thing.

The next layer in the slider is the cheese. If there’s something that Trader Joe’s is going to get right, it is cheese. Each mini burger was topped with a square of yellow cheddar and each square of cheddar melted perfectly. It didn’t taste like much, but it looked really nice.

And the meat part? Have you ever defrosted frozen hamburger in the microwave but forgotten to flip it and essentially cooked a pound of hamburger via magnetron? That’s how this beef tasted. It was cooked, but lacked the slight char necessary to a good burger What, you think char is not necessary? Then you have not seen people weep when the Whopper was discontinued. Each little burger patty was a hockey puck of chewiness, so springy that I briefly contemplated trying to bounce a piece of it on the kitchen floor.

Two sliders is a snack and four sliders are too many to eat in a state of sobriety. As cute as they were, I won’t be buying these again. At nearly $5.00 for four sliders, I’m better off waiting until I go to DC where I can get freshly grilled mini-burgers sandwiched between layers of buttered and grilled brioche.

Price: $2.50 on sale
Servings per package: 2
Serving: 1 calzone, 5oz.
Calories: 290
Fat: 9%, 6g
Cholesterol: 8%, 25mg
Sodium: 26%, 620mg
Protein: 14g
Carbohydrates: 16%, 47g
Fiber: 23%, 6g
Sugar: 6g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 Points

Smart Ones says: Low fat mozzarella cheese, the zesty flavor of Italian sausage and hearty tomato sauce in oven baked bread.

Abi says: While visiting a college friend in Seattle, I left a box of these in her freezer. When I returned a month later she informed me that she’d consumed both calzones. I took this as a sign that they’d be good. It was actually a sign that people who teach middle school science and have a lot of student loans to pay back will probably eat any food that you leave in the freezer.

This Smart Ones calzone tastes like high school. No, not Teen Spirit deodorant, fresh notebooks and formaldehyde. These calzones tastes exactly exactly like the pizza pockets available for $1.00 each in the cafeteria. I was a cold lunch kid (thanks, mom!), so I rarely had the opportunity to eat those pizza pockets. They stood for a level of unattainable coolness that I’d try to achieve by becoming a cheerleader.

The pocket itself is innocuous, at once crackery and soft. Not a spectacular pocket, but not a horrible one. It is a bit thicker than I’d expect for a ‘weight loss’ calzone and basically tastes like bread minus flavor. The sauce had an element of low-sugar Ragu and appeared to be pre-blended with cheese. I could have made sculptures with the sauce. Instead, I just smeared it around my plate debating my own hunger vs. walking to Potbelly for a cup of chili.

The sausage in this meal is made up of a variety of meats, making it off limits to Kosher friends by its existence and the inclusion of pork. Don’t worry about feeling left out; this stuff is rubbery, with a too-chewiness that will make you wonder if you’re eating spiced bouncy-balls. Smart Ones has a way to go in pursuit of perfectly microwavable sausage.

I paired this calzone with one of those ubiquitous Green Giant vegetable steamers (yes, I ate the whole thing). While I was full, I wasn’t satisfied from this trip back to angst-ville.

Price: $2.08 + tax
Serving: 9 1/8 oz
Calories: 280
Fat: 11%, 7g
Cholesterol: 17%, 50mg
Sodium: 26%, 630mg
Protein: 23g
Carbohydrates: 10%, 30g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 Points

Lean Cuisine says: Swedish meatballs with pasta in a savory gravy.

Becky says: When I think of Swedish meatballs, I think of football parties, Crock Pots, and poking at people with the toothpicks that you’ve used to dig out those little morsels of drippy, meaty, goodness…definitely not Lean Cuisine material. So when a good friend, J, told me that this meal was one of her favorites, I decided to give it a try – I’m game for trying (almost) anything once!

Luckily, I know how to work our office microwave – because the package asks you to cook this at 50% power. At home, I’d be outta luck, since the microwave we have is an el-cheapo that I bought when I started college…nearly 12 years ago. It doesn’t have the ability to cook at any level other than high, but I can’t bear to part with it because it just won’t die! Anyway, long story short – know how to work your microwave.

Overall, I was pleasantly surprised in this dish – especially after adding some black pepper. The meatballs were big & juicy (I was expecting tough) – I could easily cut them into 4 smaller pieces and mix them in with the noodles and gravy. They’re a beef/pork combination – but something I’ve been curious about for a while now is why we never see ground turkey in any of these frozen meals. Granted, you’ll never see me eat a turkey cheeseburger, but in dishes where meat is not the main character, turkey is a fantastic replacement.

The gravy was almost savory – it reminded me of beef stroganoff – which in turn made me crave mushrooms. Besides that, the main thing the gravy was lacking was more onion – that would have definitely helped to move this gravy decidedly into the ‘savory’ category. The noodles turned out surprisingly well – a perfect al dente – which I’m found is hard to achieve in a frozen meal.

All in all, I was pleasantly surprised in this meal. You definitely need a veggie side dish (ex. salad or frozen mixed veggies) to round out the meal, but I’ll have to thank J for recommending this meal to me – I’ll definitely buy it again.