Price: $2.00 on sale
Serving: 1 package, 6 5/8oz.
Calories: 520
Fat: 35%, 23g
Cholesterol: 15%, 45mg
Sodium: 46%, 1110mg
Protein: 21g
Carbohydrates: 19%, 58g
Fiber: 12%, 3g
Sugar: 5g
Weight Watchers Points: 12 Points

Stouffer’s says: Italian sausage, genoa salami and bacon in a spicy arrabbiata sauce, topped with a blend of mozzarella, parmesan, asiago and romano cheeses.

Abi says: You might notice that there are some distinct differences between my Stouffer’s Flatbread and the one shown in the photo on the box. For instance, mine seems to be missing a significant amount of cheese. Also, the meat appears minimally and in a highly chunky, unintegrated form. It is as though the Genoa salami first destroyed the baco culture, then decided that segregation was a reasonable way of life in frozen pizza land. You can see that they’ve colonized the southern end of the flatbread, making way for a salami-centric way of life.

Or perhaps they are following in Columbus’s footsteps and exploring the next frontier for pizza-topping-kind. He was from Genoa.

I didn’t realize until consuming this flatbread that I do not enjoy chunks of salami. Each piece intruded on the pizza-eating experience like the nubs of fatty, well-cooked pencil erasers, a textural sensation I can do without.

The saving grace of this meal is the well-herbed flatbread. It bursts with flavor and makes me with that it came unadorned with perhaps little packets of balsamic vineager and olive oil for dipping. Though, I can just imagine the trouble involved in defrosting condiments. Okay, maybe Stouffer’s should just sell the flatbread on its own as a pizza crust or dinner starting point.

With more care given to the toppings (and maybe more toppings, because where they heck are those 12 Weight Watchers Points coming from, anyways?) this pizza could be a decent appetizer. With improvements I would bake it in the microwave (adequate) or oven (better) and cut each one into small rectangles, perfect for serving to friends during the Stanley Cup Finals. With improvements.

Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Serving: 1 box: 5.7oz. of food + 6.75 fl. oz.
Calories: 440
Fat: 15%, 10g
Cholesterol: 8%, 25mg
Sodium: 40%, 960mg
Protein: 20g
Carbohydrates: 24%, 71g
Fiber: 4%, 1g
Weight Watchers Points: 9 Points

Lunchables says: Lunchables Mini Tacos includes three soft flour tortillas and seasoned ground beef in taco sauce, Capri Sun 100% Fruit Juice and Wonka Nerds artificially flavored cherry candies.

Abi says: $2.50 is a lot to pay for a Capri Sun, some Nerds and lost dignity. I didn’t know that ground beef could be so finely pureed, which is good to know if I ever have the combination of a feeding tube and a hamburger craving.

Price: Free from Hormel
Serving: 1 Container, 10 oz.
Calories: 210
Fat: 8%, 5g
Cholesterol:17%, 50mg
Sodium: 24%, 580mg
Protein: 20g
Carbs: 7%, 22g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 4g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 points

Hormel says: Beef Steak & Peppers with Savory Sauce & Noodles. Created for a healthy lifestyle. Ready in 90 seconds!

Matt says: The title of the meal is “beef steak & peppers,” which is not to be confused with “pepper steak” of Chinese fare. Beef is definitely the star here. For a meal that sits in the cupboard at room temperature the beef is surprisingly tender, and for the package size there is plenty of it. As promised the meal is very hot in 90 seconds.

My main complaint is that everything tastes like the beef gravy, meaning only the meat stands out. The gravy has a mild peppery flavor, but not enough oomph to make it spicy. Considering that this dish contains 580mg of sodium (24% of my daily intake) I’m surprised it doesn’t taste salty.

The noodles are present en masse. However, they are so soft they merely create a mushy bed to hold the meat. There are carrots, onions, mushrooms, and green and red bell peppers present in the dish but they are lost in the mushy-meat mess. The carrots and peppers are cut into strips that are similar in shape to the noodles. In one’s mouth the noodles and vegetables are indistinguishable in flavor and texture.

Because of the packaging for the shelf, the texture difficulties are somewhat unavoidable. Regardless, I would have liked a little more spice to the sauce to liven things up. How about bigger cuts of the vegetables? While the meal in edible, it is nothing that will force a midnight run to Safeway.

Price: $2.99
Serving: 1 tamal, 5oz.
Calories: 240
Fat: 20%, 13g
Cholesterol: 5%, 15mg
Sodium: 29%, 670mg
Protein: 12g
Carbohydrates: 9%, 26g
Fiber: 16%, 4g
Sugar: 0g
Weight Watchers Points: 5 Points

Trader Joe’s says: Handcrafted beef tamales wrapped in corn husks

Abi says: To be honest, I don’t care if the tamales I eat are hand-crafted. It seems sort of special until you think about what a pain it is to make tamales and that there’s probably already some sort of extrusion machine that would do a great job of making sure that every tamale was just as well-formed as the last one. Also, I am completely willing to eat tortillas made by a machine. Have you ever had El Machino tortillas? Delicious!

I am in love with gadgets and most Mexican food. I am only in a high degree of ‘like’ with these tamales.

For one, the fastest cooking method (the microwave) is also the method most prone to making the tamale rubbery on each end. This means that even though there’s no meat in those sections (similar to the well-known burrito conundrum), they are now inedible for a completely different reason.

In other areas of the tamale the masa is tender and fragrant, still moist thanks to the corn husk wrapper. The meat within each tamale is a bit skimpy, which is the scourge of tamale eaters everywhere. Fortunately, the beef is nice and spicy, plus it is shredded rather than decimated, offering a pleasant counterpoint to the mushy (but in a good way) masa.

If you don’t have access to fresh tamales these ones from Trader Joe’s will do. If you do have access to fresh tamales and you live within the San Francisco Bay Area, please tell me where you are buying them.