Price: $3.99
Serving: 1 tart, 3.3oz.
Calories: 300
Fat: 20%, 13g
Cholesterol: 38%, 115mg
Sodium: 3%, 70mg
Protein: 4g
Carbs: 13%, 40g
Fiber: 2%, <1g
Sugar: 30g
Weight Watchers Points: 7 Points each

Trader Joe says: Refreshingly tart lemon filling in a flaky buttery crust. Simply defrost and serve Trader Joe’s Lemon Tartes, or decorate with berries and whipped cream. These tartes are the ideal pastry to serve at the end of any meal, whether rustic or elegant. If you love the idea of afternoon “high tea,” these treats would be the perfect sweet for that occasion, as well.

Abi says: In the last several months Trader Joe’s has added several fantastic items to the frozen dessert section, including the chocolate croissants and the gluten-free peanut butter cookies. The duds have thus far been limited to the no-prep brownies.

Unfortunately, these Lemon Tartes are joining the Pre-Made Brownies in the hall of Trader Joe’s bad dessert infamy. I look forward to dessert, so I defrosted these tartes in the refrigerator for 6 hours (the package recommends at least 4 hours of defrosting) and shortly after dinner plated them with no accoutrements. Yes, the photo on the box shows a dollop of whipped cream, but a bit of sweet dairy wasn’t going to counteract the ‘meh’ of these desserts.

These lemon tartes feature tart lemon filing, bursting with bright yellow flavor, but each bite is also accompanied by bland, dense pastry. After a few forkfuls of POW-ZAP followed by ‘ugh’ of pastry. I tried to eat a bit of the lemon filling on its own. At that point I realized that lemon filling by itself is not a delicious dessert, but a component within a delicious dessert. Lemon filling by itself is sort of like torture by citric acid, and this is an opinion coming from a girl who enjoys sour Skittles.

After this experience I’m not sure I’ll be trying any of Trader Joe’s pre-made no-bake pastries. The chocolate croissants and chocolate chip cookies are just way, way too good to go fooling around with these tarts.

Price: $2.99
Serving: 1 tamal, 5oz.
Calories: 240
Fat: 20%, 13g
Cholesterol: 5%, 15mg
Sodium: 29%, 670mg
Protein: 12g
Carbohydrates: 9%, 26g
Fiber: 16%, 4g
Sugar: 0g
Weight Watchers Points: 5 Points

Trader Joe’s says: Handcrafted beef tamales wrapped in corn husks

Abi says: To be honest, I don’t care if the tamales I eat are hand-crafted. It seems sort of special until you think about what a pain it is to make tamales and that there’s probably already some sort of extrusion machine that would do a great job of making sure that every tamale was just as well-formed as the last one. Also, I am completely willing to eat tortillas made by a machine. Have you ever had El Machino tortillas? Delicious!

I am in love with gadgets and most Mexican food. I am only in a high degree of ‘like’ with these tamales.

For one, the fastest cooking method (the microwave) is also the method most prone to making the tamale rubbery on each end. This means that even though there’s no meat in those sections (similar to the well-known burrito conundrum), they are now inedible for a completely different reason.

In other areas of the tamale the masa is tender and fragrant, still moist thanks to the corn husk wrapper. The meat within each tamale is a bit skimpy, which is the scourge of tamale eaters everywhere. Fortunately, the beef is nice and spicy, plus it is shredded rather than decimated, offering a pleasant counterpoint to the mushy (but in a good way) masa.

If you don’t have access to fresh tamales these ones from Trader Joe’s will do. If you do have access to fresh tamales and you live within the San Francisco Bay Area, please tell me where you are buying them.

Price: $3.00
Serving: 1 cookie, 1.28oz.
Calories: 200
Fat: 18%, 12g
Cholesterol: 7%, 20mg
Sodium: 6%, 150mg
Protein: 5g
Carbs: 7%, 20g
Fiber: 5%, 1g
Sugar: 14g
Weight Watchers Points: 5 Points

Trader Joe says: Nothing

Abi says: Before I get your hopes up too high, I should point out that these cookies are not as good as the chocolate chip ones. Did you really think that peanut butter cookies (or any sans-chocolate cookie) could win? No, it cannot. Chocolate is always the winner.

The other downside of these cookies is that while they seem all healthy with the ‘Gluten Free’ splashed everywhere, they are actually quite calorieriffic. A 1.28 ounce cookie clocks in at 200 calories. Yowzers. I could eat four, no problem. Which makes it all the more silly that earlier today I pulled a Stouffer’s meatloaf entree out of the freezer and then put it back because it was about 640 calories and seemed like too much food.

Also, the Stouffer’s company was joyous about the fact that there were two meatloaves in the package. If I find a single hamburger filling I probably don’t need two loaves of meat. Yeesh.

Yet I will gladly consume many, many cookies. Mmmmm. Each of these Trader Joe’s peanut butter cookies features the heft of a large clam fresh from the ocean, still filled with the brine of the sea. They are delightfully weighty, meaning that you’re not likely to grab more than two at a time. Well, until you finish those. Then you will get more. The cookies are crumblier than I’d like, which is likely related to their lack of gluten. This means that you’ll need to show care when you eat each cookie, handling them gently lest they turn to sand in too-rough hands.

The peanut butter shines through here with a gentle nuttiness that brings back elementary school sack lunches. The cookies weren’t too salty or too sweet, just simple and balanced.

You can easily make your own gluten free peanut butter cookies and forego this pre-made gluten free cookie dough. But if you’re into convenience (and not into washing dishes) and want the ability to bake just a few cookies at a time, pick up a box the next time you’re at Trader Joe’s.

Price:$2.69
Serving:1 burrito, 7oz.
Calories:360 per serving
Fat:13%, 9g
Cholesterol:17%, 50mg
Sodium:40%, 960mg
Protein:21g
Carbohydrates:16%, 49g
Fiber:11%, 3g
Sugar:2g
Weight Watchers Points: 7 Points

Trader Joe says: Nothing. I guess they had nothing clever to say about this product.

Angela says: I like to think of myself as a connoisseur of burritos. Frozen, fast food, homemade, breakfast, I’ve tried (and loved) them all. And around here, they’re not hard to come by. So when I was shopping in Trader Joe’s for something to eat for lunch at work, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to try a burrito I’ve never tried before.

Enter this little guy, the Chicken Chile Verde Burrito. First things first, it comes in pack of two. The pack is not resealable, so I suggest just bringing one to work and leaving the other at home, unless you trust the freezer at your office, which I don’t. The instructions tell you to first defrost the burrito on 50% power for two minutes, and then cook on full power for one minute, which is what I did.

Now, generally I associate Trader Joe’s with (mostly) healthy food. Upon reading the ingredients, I realized that this burrito may not be much different than the ones you find in your regular grocer’s freezer section. The amount of salt is really what got me. 40% of your daily value? Wow! I’m not one to be discouraged by nutritional information, so let’s get to the eating part.

Upon first look, the burrito is definitely a little wimpy looking. Not that most frozen burritos aren’t, but maybe I just had my hopes up too high. Also, it’s a little soggy and difficult to pick up. So those who care about dripping sauce on their clothes might want to grab a fork and knife for this one. Inside, there is a lot of Chile Verde, and every few bites there is some chicken. I suggest that TJ’s changes the name around to better suit this ratio. The Chile Verde is kind of slimy, and maybe a little too salty. I guess that’s where the 40% daily value of sodium comes in. Last but not least, the end of the burrito is all tortilla, as it is with most frozen burritos. It gets kind of hard when you microwave it, so I recommend not eating that part.

So all-in-all, this burrito is edible, but not really delicious. I will probably eat the second one if I’m in a pinch, but I’m not sure I would buy this particular variety ever again.