Price: $2.25
Serving: 10.5 oz.
Calories: 300
Fat: 18%, 12g
Cholesterol: 17%, 50mg
Sodium: 32%, 760mg
Protein: 25g
Carbohydrates: 9%, 27g
Fiber: 32%, 8g
Sugar: 6g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 Points

Smart Ones says: Breast strips with rib meat and penne in a creamy red pepper sauce with broccoli.

Sarah says: In comparison to my review of Smart Ones Roast Beef, where I was pleasantly surprised by a meal that I expected not to love, this meal was a sharp turn for the worse. I think that my expectations were simply way too high - this is yet another case of a horribly misleading and delicious-looking cover gone wrong. Everything about this little frozen meal called out to me. Whole grain wheat pasta? Check! Broccoli, my favorite frozen vegetable? Check! Some sort of sauce that’s sorta-creamy-and-sorta-spicy? CHECK! In addition to all of that, South Beach is apparently not eco-friendly, as their meal comes in a box that takes up approximately double the space that my Smart Ones takes, even though the meal is just 1.5 ounces heavier. This was yet another factor in my high expectations, as I extremely hungry when I selected the gargantuan parcel out of my freezer at lunchtime. Big box = big taste, right?

Not so much. The first let-down of the meal was the broccoli. I always eat the veggies first, because I’m a slightly OCD weirdo who likes to separate their foods and eat them in order from “least favorite” to “favorite.” It’s pretty hard to mess up broccoli, but somehow South Beach has managed it. I can’t even tell you what it was, either. The broccoli just tasted slightly off. Like maybe it had been frozen and thawed and re-frozen one too many times.

Then there was the pasta, which I had hoped would redeem my rather pathetic vegetable experience. I think the biggest disappointment was with the “Red Pepper Sauce,” which I had expected to taste . . . oh, I don’t know . . . peppery? Instead, it just tasted like sauce. Just generic sauce, that you might find in a big plastic container located in an underground hatch on a mysterious island in the South Pacific. The pasta has a strange texture, but that’s par for the course when you’re dealing with whole wheat pasta, and I really felt like it might have been enjoyable (the chicken was just fine, too) if there had been non-Dharma sauce on top of it.

Oh well, I guess that’s what you get for buying any meal with the word “diet” on the front of the package. Too bad I have two other South Beach items left in the freezer to try.

[The South Beach Diet is now known as South Beach Living. Also, if you’re into Lost but you’re never sure if this week’s episode will be new or a rerun, I recommend you check out Is Lost a Repeat?, a highly accurate, superbly informational website. -Ed.]

Price: $2.50
Serving: 1 meal. 7.05 oz.
Calories: 250
Fat: 20%, 13g
Sodium: 47%, 1130mg
Protein: 24gg
Carbs: 8%, 24g
Fiber: 15%, 15g
Weight Watchers Points: 5 Points

South Beach says: South Beach Diet Wraps combine the perfect blend of ingredients - soft wraps, flavorful sauces or dressings, and natural cheeses or crunchy toppings - for a taste sensation you’ll love!

Kelly says: I am not on the South Beach diet. I am a carb lover (hello, Easten European heritage!) and I find dieting slightly freaky. I’m not talking about eating healthy. I’m talking about dieting, you know, the sort that brings to mind the Gap Girls on Saturday Night Live.

But the South Beach Diet is supposed to be nutritious and filling, satisfying even. So when I saw this adult lunchable on sale at my grocery store, I thought “Great! Now I won’t have to wait in the office microwave line!”

Ugh, I’d rather wait in line than eat this any day. The mayo alone is 40 calories. Which means that cutting out the mayo brings this meal down to 210 calories. I also did not consume the Jell-o. Even healthier, right? WRONG. I was hungry in two hours. That’s what happens when you don’t EAT anything. I felt like Chris Farley in that video, but minus David Spade and Adam Sandler as my preppy sidekicks.

Even though it does not need to be said, I will say it: South Beach Diet’s Turkey Bacon Club Wraps is not a filling lunch, though it is sort of fun to put together. There are ultra-processed turkey slices, mini wheat tortillas, and a little packet of bacon. I wish I could just buy little packs of bacon in the store. Then I could occasionally use bacon without making the whole house smell like deep fried meat.

I know, there are pouches of pre-made bacon already out there, and they aren’t even refrigerated! That weirds me out.

Bacon aside, these South Beach Diet wraps are simply Lunchables for adults but without the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup or Andes mint. Wowsers. 47% of my sodium intake for the day was in the meal 7 ounce snack.

As a college educated adult I should know better than to eat this junk.

Price: $2.50 on sale
Serving: One tray, 11 oz.
Calories: 290
Fat: 17% Daily Value, 11g
Cholesterol: 18%, 55mg
Sodium: 34%, 820mg
Protein: 29g
Carbohydrates: 8%, 24g
Fiber: 32%, 8g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 Points

Kraft says: Breast strips with rib meat, penne pasta, broccoli, red bell peppers and asparagus in garlic parmesan sauce.

Andrew says: Kraft needs to work on their flavor text for South Beach meals. They all have the same lame note from the author of the diet and no real exposition on the meal you’re about to eat. In any case, I felt kind of bad that I had to go and drop that zero star rating on the South Beach wraps a while back, so I got a couple other meals of theirs that I expected to be more satisfying.

The first thing I noticed about this meal was the watery sauce. And then I realized that the penne pasta is whole wheat. The South Beach Diet must be pretty big on whole wheat, since Kraft uses whole wheat in their pizza crusts, the tortillas for those awful wraps and the pastas. The pasta isn’t bad, though it could be a little more al dente. By now I’ve come to realize that any frozen food pasta is a mini disaster waiting to happen, so any half-decent pasta is somewhat miraculous. Kraft’s South Beach pasta is half-decent.

Also I’d like to direct the readers’ attention to the inclusion of asparagus here. This is the first time I’ve ever had asparagus in a frozen meal and it turned out pretty nicely. It had a good buttery flavor to it and it wasn’t overly rubbery. It was my favorite part of the meal, actually, because the chicken (usually the highlight of frozen food for me) was both sparse and small.

The garlic parmesan sauce is mostly cheesy with some herbal notes, but it’s really not that garlicky at all. That said, it’s pretty smooth and kind of buttery (maybe that’s where the asparagus gets it). Also, sherry wine is in the ingredient list: Classy!

All in all, the meal was kind of forgettable. Certainly not one I’d avoid, but I could see myself buying this again in a month or so thinking I was trying something new, then starting to eat it and saying “hey, I HAVE had this before!” and feeling kind of let down.

I’m only 25, but this has happened more than I’d like to admit.

Price: $2.50
Serving: 1 packagea, 10.3 oz.
Calories: 260
Fat: 12%, 8g
Cholesterol: 22%, 65mg
Sodium: 35%, 840mg
Protein: 29g
Carbs: 8%, 23g
Fiber: 32%, 8g

South Beach Diet says: Breast strips with rib meat and fettuccine pasta in alfredo sauce and tomatoes, with broccoli, red bell peppers, and yellow carrots

Jenn says: All good things must come to an end. Today, my love affair with South Beach Diet food is coming to an end. To say this was a love affair would be putting it mildly as South Beach has reigned atop my world of frozen entrees since its inception. Seeing South Beach Diet food on sale made for a great trip to the grocery store. The meat was real, the sauces snappy and the vegetables plentiful. However, the Chicken Alfredo a la Roma is none of these.

As you can see from the picture, the chicken in the actual meal is no where near the size of the chicken on package. Lean Cuisine alfredo sauce outshines South Beach Diet alfredo sauce any day. And the vegetables were mushy. While I’ve never actually been on the real South Beach Diet, (my friend Dana did it and got so hungry in a meeting that she started shaking) I supported meals that were full of real meat and ample amounts of vegetables. Chicken Alfredo a la Roma needs to be kicked out of the South Beach Diet family. It’s giving its brothers and sister on the frozen food and snack food aisles a bad name.