Price: $2.59
Serving: 1 pattie, 1.34oz.
Calories: 80
Fat:5%, 3g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 11%, 260mg
Protein: 10g
Carbs: 1%, 3g
Fiber: 6%, 1g
Sugar: <1g
Weight Watchers Points: 2 Points

Morningstar Farms says: Savory, sizzling veggie patties seasoned with herbs and spices.

Abi says: I hesitate to write about these vegetarian sausage patties. It isn’t that I think you’ll all run to your nearest Trader Joe’s to buy them (though you should because at TJ’s they’re half the regular grocery store price). No, I’m worried that my fiance will read this review and finally learn that the breakfast sausage we ate throughout the winter was actually made of soy. This is why I don’t have a photo of the cooked sausage, though it looks exactly the same as the photo on the box.

I know that the Morningstar Farms veggie sausage, which is prone to overcooking, could never be confused with the truly amazing housemade sausage patties at Austin’s Kerby Lane Cafe. But if you’re worried about the amount of Jimmy Dean in your shopping cart, I implore you to try this breakfast item.

Each pattie is already brown, so all you need to do is heat them in the microwave and then crisp them a bit on each side. Burning the patties is easier than you’d think, especially if you’re used to cooking real made-with-meat sausage. Additionally, they have a confusing texture, much like real, slightly overcooked sausage, except they achieve granularity much more quickly than real sausage. I believe this is because vegetarian sausage lacks the connective tissue products one might find in standard sausage products. In addition to lacking tendons and such, each pattie has 1/2 the calories and 1/5 the fat of the same amount of pork sausage.

These ’sausage’ patties, when served alongside a suitably dramatic item (I recommend French Toast Casserole with Pecan-Brown Sugar Streusel), will potentially be mistaken for real sausage. But if you’d like to just make your own homestyle sausage, you can’t go wrong with Homesick Texan’s Sausage Recipe. A warning before you click that link: if you’re a displaced Texas you’ll spend the rest of the afternoon wishing you were back home in the Lone Star State.

Price: $3.79/box
Serving: 4 pieces, 3 oz.
Calories: 170
Fat: 7%, 4.5g
Sodium: 24%, 580mg

Morningstar says: Delicious, classic, corn dog taste in a two-bite size

Abi says: Mini corn dogs do not a meal make. It would be very easy to eat many mini corn dogs in a single sitting. Today, I showed perseverance and consumed a single serving of Morningstar Mini Corn Dogs. I expect to receive my award at a ceremony held later today on the lawn of the FDA building.

Actually, I don’t know if the FDA even has a lawn, but the USDA is right on the mall, so that could work well as a ceremony site subsititute. Illusions of grandeur aside, the toaster oven instructions for Morningstar mini-corndogs could cause consternation among your coworkers. Cooking them according to the directions on the package would mean using the toaster oven for almost 15 minutes. Instead of hogging the toaster oven only, heat them in the microwave for 35 seconds, then put them in the toaster oven. That way you are guaranteed fully cooked and crispy bites of goodness.
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Price: $3.19
Serving: 1 Burger, 2.36 oz.
Calories: 100
Fat: 4%, 2.5g
Sodium: 15%, 350mg
Dietary Exchange: 1 lean meat, 2 vegetables

Morningstar says: Each pattie is a savory vegetable and grain burger with a blend of carrots, mushrooms, bell peppers, black olives, brown rice and rolled oats.

Jess says: I am a cheap bastard.

I am proud to call the Morningstar Veggie Patty one of my staple items. You get a package for about $3 and some change and you have four relatively healthy meals. I like to throw them in between some toast ($.99 for about 12-16 slices) and add some ketchup ($1.29 for a bottle). If I’m feeling fancy, I can melt some cheese on top. Or I can add some tomato slices or even spread some roasted red pepper hummus on there. (In the case of hummus there is no ketchup. Damn that would be nasty). One box and I have 4/5 of my work lunches taken care of which allows me to focus on the more important things of life like where to go to happy hour or why Americans like dipping sauces so much or why writing lunch blurbs is so inexplicably entertaining.
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