Price: 29¢
Serving: 1/2 block noodles + seasoning, 1.5oz. + water
Reality: 1 block of noodles + seasoning, 3oz. + water
Calories per package: 380
Fat: 22%, 14g
  Saturated Fat: 36%, 7g
  Trans Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 74%, 1780mg
Protein: 10g
Carbohydrates: 18%, 52g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 0g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 per serving
Weight Watchers Points: 8 per package

Maruchan says: Nothing, which is too bad because I spent way too long clicking around their Japanese-only website.

Abi says: Ramen is a divisive topic, with strong feelings on both sides. I am a ramen lover and have rated this flavor of ramen five stars. My partner could live a lifetime without ramen, a decision that I don’t understand. The traditional flavors for American ramen range from one meat variety to another, with beef (red), chicken (orange), creamy chicken (yellow) and shrimp (pink) being the animal-based flavors I most often see at the supermarket. While each of these has a place (a fond childhood lunch was chicken ramen with chunks of hotdog), my favorite flavor in adulthood is definitely Oriental.

Why Oriental, the least descriptive and potentially most offensive flavor-name ever invented? Probably because it tastes least like I’m sucking on a bullion cube. I’m the same way when I’m ill: vegetable broth is awesome, chicken broth is not acceptable. Also not acceptable is the amount of sodium in these little packets. Ramen is a sometimes treat, not an everyday food.

While writing up the nutritional information for this item I was all ‘Hmmm, that’s some fat. But hey, trans fat free! And cholesterol free! Yeah’ and then I got to the sodium and realized that there would be no exclamations of pleasant surprise. Yes, if one eats the entirety of that sodium packet, that equals 3/4 of an adults daily sodium intake. But I don’t drink the ramen broth. Because it is too salty.

The flavor of Oriental ramen is the very definition of savory. It strikes the palate with such a strong sensation of umami. Because that’s all it is: pure umami. No chicken or beef or shrimp to confuse the tongue, just the zing of MSG, ah.

[Looking for some reviews of real ramen? Check out Ramen Ramen Ramen and Ramen Lovers. - Editrix]

Price: 34¢
Serving: 1 package, 2.25oz. + water
Calories per serving: 290
Fat: 18%, 12g
Cholesterol: 1%, <5mg
Sodium: 49%, 1,180mg
Protein: 7g
Carbohydrates: 13%, 38g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 1g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 Points

Maruchan says: Ramen noodles with vegetables. Fast and tasty as a hot snack or a delicious meal – anytime.

Abi says: You know you’re making a bad food choice when other people in Wal-Mart give you a look that says “Oh my God, you’re buying that?”

The negatives of Instant Lunch are vast: powdered chicken flavor that doesn’t fully dissolve in water (clumps, mmm), styrofoam packaging that mocks recycling efforts and microwave instructions that really read “Don’t put styrofoam in the microwave, you idiot. Heat water separately.”

On the plus side, this thing cost all of 34¢

And it didn’t taste like an old sock.

Between the excessive salt and uh, the excessive salt, there isn’t much good I can say about this lunch but “35¢! Woo!”

Price: $1.29
Serving: 1 container, 2.25 oz. plus water
Calories: 300
Fat: 22%, 14g
Sodium: 47%, 1,120mg
Protein: 7g
Carbs: 12%, 37g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 7 Points

Maruchan says: America’s finest Ramen Noodle Soups

Abi says: When something bad is going to happen, I try to psyche myself out mentally by imagining that it is going to be significantly more enjoyable than it ends up being. While this strategy is somewhat useful when it comes to drilling teeth, pulling off band-aids, jogging, and doing shots, it is not a good idea in the realm of macaroni and cheese. Mac and Cheese is NOT something you should have to psyche yourself out about. In fact, the word ‘psyche’ should not be used in conjuntion with the words ‘macaroni’ and ‘cheese’ in a negative manner.

I considered ending this review by imploring you to gaze upon the picture of the cheddar noodle product and then avoid it at all costs. I soon realized that this would be an enormous disservice to my low-vision and blind readers. Dear low-vision and blind readers, the cup of noodles in the image is a mess of deep-fried nastiness soaking in a watery broth of cheddar cheese powder. Please do your best to make sure that this item ceases to exist. I can think of 10 things I’d rather have on store shelves. One of those things is Jerk-flavored potato chips.