Price: $4.19
Serving: 1 meal, 10 oz.
Calories: 390
Fat: 14%, 9g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 33%, 790mg
Protein: 18g
Carbs: 18%, 53g
Fiber: 17%, 4g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Linda says: Semolina spaghetti with carrots, green & red bell peppers, and gourmet vegetarian chicken, tossed in a spicy Asian-style Peanut Sauce

Kelly says: Prior to consuming this meal I thought that ‘Vegetarian Chicken’ referred chicken that consumes only non-animal feed. I had a lot to learn. To Linda McCartney (who is dead, btw), Vegetarian Chicken means ‘fake chicken made out of vegetables.’

Yes, you are allowed to laugh at me. I live in the South, so I’m sure I’m not the first person who has made this mistake. Also, read the product blurb. Does it say anything about it not being real chicken? No, it just says ‘vegetarian chicken’, the least helpful phrase ever. Let me say now that if you’re thinking about switching to a no-meat lifestyle, stay far, far away from this meal. I’ll get into why later, but I just wanted to let you know now that it is not worth putting anywhere near your apartment-dweller Whole Foods mini shopping cart.

The noodles are larger than your standard spaghetti. This wouldn’t matter if it didn’t make them IMPOSSIBLE to eat in their enormousness, plus they are mushy from the get-go. I’ve had some pretty darn good Lean Cuisines (see Sesame Stir Fry with Chicken), so I know that noodles can be done relatively well. These were relatively inedible. The vegetables were forgettably fine. I ate all of them. Why? I like vegetables. Also, there are approximately 2 carrot sticks worth of vegetables in this meal. Another plus for Lean Cuisine. Too bad it was impossible to consume the fake chicken.

The process went something like this: Stab chicken chunk with fork. Pop in mouth. Attempt chewing. Find chewing quite difficult. Put further effort into chewing. Still not working. WTF mouth?!? Realize I am chewing a tasteless and rubbery fake meat item. Spit out. Repeat with new fake-chicken-nugget. Realize it is not me, it is the meat. Give up.

Sometime during the magical process that I like to call microwaving, the faux-chicken became rock-hard nuggets of evil. I know that isn’t very scientific, but that’s what happened. Thus, this Linda McCartney meal became the ultimate diet food, the 7 (seven!) uneaten breaded fake-chicken blobs mocking me from the tray. I ate all of the noodles. I ate all of the vegetables. I even consumed the not-worth-mentioning peanut sauce (It claims to be spicy, but this Polish-American girl found it blander-than-bland and I sweat when I eat at chain Mexican restaurants). But the idea of eating those chicken chunks? I’m shivering in my boots.

Price: $1.63 (closout at Safeway)
Serving: 1 package, 10 oz.
Calories: 400
Fat: 26%, 19g
Sodium: 32%, 760mg
Protein: 16g
Carbs: 14%, 42g
Fiber: 14%, 3g

Linda McCartney says: Spiral macaroni smothered in a creamy cheddar cheese sauce

Abi says: I’m not sure the human body was meant to consume 10 ounces of macaroni and cheese in one go. This meal has been on sale at just about every food outlet (ok, Safeway and Whole Foods) and part of the reason may be our alimentary incapacity for such quantities of macaroni and cheese.

Ok, I know plenty of people (Nicole, Bale, Colleen, and George) who would gladly eat 10 ounces of macaroni and cheese in one sitting. I’m sure that I too have consumed such a quantity of pasta and sauce. The real problem here is blandness, an incomparable blandness that existed in Linda’s Butternut Squash Ravioli too.

Doesn’t it seem sort of strange to eat the meals of a deceased semi-celebrity? And would it be sacreligious to call Linda McCartney the Paris Hilton of the Beatles? Really, did she have a talent for anything aside from photography? And even then, she was originally Linda Eastman. Yes of Eastman-Kodak.* Yes, she captured Paul’s heart, but she wouldn’t have gotten far dishing out these sorts of meals.

If you’re going after 400 calories worth of vegetarian frozen meal, how about giving one of these guys a try:

1. Amy’s Enchilada Bowl
2. Trader Joe’s Jaipur Vegetables and Garlic Naan
3. Tandoor Chef (Green Guru) Paneer Tikka Masala
4. Amy’s Pesto Tortellini Bowl

*She may have been a photographer and may have had the last name Eastman, but she was not related to the Eastman-Kodak empire. At least, that’s what the Internet and reader Brian have noted. Thanks for correcting us, Brian! Unfortunately, this meal is still 3rd rate at best.

I imagine it is pretty hard to fill Linda McCartney’s shoes even if you are a one-legged, activist model. Perhaps that is why I was drawn to Linda McCartney’s meals last night in the grocery store.

Price: 2 for $6 on sale
Serving: 1 package, 283 g
Calories: 470
Fat: 22%, 14g
Sodium: 18%, 420mg
Carbs: 24%, 69g
Fiber: 15%, 4mg
Protein: 17g

Linda McCartney said: Wholesome. All Natural. Delicious.

Kate says: The McCartneys have been in the news lately since Paul is spliting up with his second wife. I imagine it is pretty hard to fill Linda McCartney’s shoes even if you are a one-legged, activist model. Perhaps that is why I was drawn to Linda McCartney’s meals last night in the grocery store.

The ravioli’s appearance didn’t meat (haha…I typed meat and didn’t notice until I went back to edit) my expectations from the photo on the box. The photo is colorful and the squash and roasted pecans look bright and appealing. The actual food was monochromatic and a bit off-putting. After my first bite, I said aloud, “It’s al dente!” with glee. After a few bites I realized it was rather chewy in several places, but chewy is still better than soggy pasta.

The meal was tasty in the way that anything drenched in butter and smothered with cheese is tasty. Unfortunately I could only taste the squash in a few bites, but the buttery, cheesy pasta was still good.

At 470 calories, the meal is too highly caloric to make it into my regular rotation of lunch time frozen food, but I would eat this again.