Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Serving: 1 container, 10 oz.
Calories: 270
Fat: 17%, 11g
Sodium: 28%, 660mg
Protein: 44%, 28g
Carbohydrates: 4%, 13g
Fiber: 16%, 4g

South Beach says: Grilled breast strips with rib meat with garlic and herb sauce and green beans almondine.

Abi says: This meal contains an impressive amount of protein. Unfortunately, it contains sauces that render the chicken and green beans inedible, therefore the 44% of your recommended daily allowance of protein is useless.

I lack the sophisticated scientific machinery necessary to confirm that the sauce in Kraft’s South Beach Diet Garlic Herb Chicken actually contained garlic or herbs. Instead, I can only wonder why Kraft had to take some decent chicken breast strips (no measly cubes here!) and cover them with this much sauce. It reminded me of childhood experimentation with the spice cupboard at home and the horrific spiced milk that I couldn’t convince my little brother to drink.

But maybe you like extremely strong yet unidentifiable sauces. In that case, you’d love the green beans, which should be awesome (slices of almond, yum), but end up floating in a pool of oily water. Ok, I don’t know if it was actually oil, but it had the definite sheen of a city puddle after a rainstorm.

If you’re not eating this meal in front of other people, I highly recommend blotting each item with a paper towel before consumption. If that is not a feasible option, then you could just scrape the chicken pieces along the side of the tray, hoping to rid yourself of as much sauce as possible, while saving your dignity.

Price: $2.99 for two wraps
Serving: 1 wrap, 4.16oz.
Servings per Container: 1.5
Calories: 220
Fat: 11%, 7g
Cholesterol: 7%, 20mg
Sodium: 19%, 460mg
Protein: 25g
Carbs: 9%, 26g
Fiber: 24%, 6g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 per wrap

Kraft says: Each South Beach Diet Wrap provides a hot, delicious lunch or dinner at home or on-the-go. Enjoy with a small mixed green salad and your favorite South Beach Diet Dressing!

Andrew says: I’ve had good luck with South Beach Diet frozen dinners lately. I’m not on the South Beach Diet, but Kraft has a decent-looking lineup of gourmet-ish diet meals and, for the most part, they’ve been satisfying and tasty.

Still, I should have heeded the alarm bells going off in my head when I decided to buy two boxes of South Beach Diet wraps. How often does a frozen tortilla come out right in the microwave? I think mankind is still waiting. How often does a frozen mish-mash of cheese, meat and veggies reconstitute into anything other than a barfy paste? (I’m looking at you too, Hot Pockets!)

So I brought the Chicken Monterey wraps to work after a disappointing experience earlier in the week with the Denver Omlette-style breakfast wraps (somehow flavorless save for a disgusting onion aftertaste) and hoped for the best. The smell emanating from the microwave wasn’t entirely terrible, so I thought at least I’d get some flavor out of this one.

I guess my first warning sign should have been that the wrap stuck to the paper plate I’d deposited it onto. More accurately, paper plate material stuck to the wrap. Gross. The first bite of the wrap was entirely made up of the whole-wheat tortilla, which had hardened into something resembling card stock. The next bite included some soggier tortilla as well as some melty but flavorless cheese, a bit of completely flavorless chicken, a “red pepper”, and some way-too-mustard-y dijon sauce. There was supposed to be Monterey Jack cheese in there but all I experienced was this awful dijon sauce, filling every taste bud with a sense of nauseous dread.

I ate it all, and I survived. So did the terrible sour dijon aftertaste, unfortunately. But then I thought, “you know, maybe I overcooked it or something. I have one more wrap in the box, I’m going to try it later.” Yes, I am THAT DEDICATED TO FOOD REVIEWING. I adjusted the cooking time down slightly, took one bite and promptly deposited it into the trash. It wasn’t just me: This was pretty awful. I’ll still get other South Beach stuff, but the wraps are by far the worst frozen food I’ve had in months.

Price: 50 cents
Serving: 1 cup, 2.05 oz.
Calories: 220
Fat: 7%, 4.5g
Sodium: 27%, 660mg
Protein: 14%, 7g
Carbs: 15%, 39g
Fiber: 1g

Kraft says: Kraft Easy Mac Macaroni and Cheese Cups make it easy to enjoy delicious macaroni and cheese anytime. The microwaveable cups cook quickly and are full of creamy, cheesy flavor.

Bill says: I have enjoyed Kraft Mac and Cheese since I was an embryo so I am quite biased. I also have very little frame of reference because it has been awhile since I frequented microwavable meals. This means my rating of 4 stars has very low validity and reliability.

When Kraft recently came out with the mini-microwave version, I was quite excited. Tastes just like the real thing and is low maintenance to prepare. I would probably need to eat three of them to actually keep me from gnawing on my fingers within 10 minutes though. Preparing 3 would be high maintenance.

I believe that each one costs about 50 cents. For Kraft, this was brilliant because the full box only costs $1.09. For a little more packaging cost, they probably have a lot more profit margin from these little guys. This is somewhat worrisome for me since Bob Kraft owns the New England Patriots, so I am indirectly helping my rival.

This entry is proof why blogging is dangerous for me and I can never be allowed to have my own as I will spend all day and night working on it.