Price: $2.04 at Target
Serving: 1 Meal, 7.6oz.
Calories: 390
Fat: 17%, 11g
Cholesterol: 7%, 20mg
Sodium: 19%, 460mg
Protein: 14g
Carbohydrates: 19%, 57g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
Sugar: 16g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Kid Cuisine says: Just when you thought it was safe to finish the fish sticks -da dum, da dum - along come our fruit Gummy Shark Snacks. A whale of a meal!

Abi says: This meal wasn’t so much a lunch as an act of vengeance. If you’ve been doing some sinning lately (Fat Tuesday festivities and poor voting choices on Super Tuesday both come to mind), you could always choose this meal as part of a Friday Lenten penance. It must be worth at least 40 Hail Marys.

I am fortunate in knowing that this is probably the worst video I’ll ever make and the worst item I’ve ever consumed: it can only get better from here. Please leave comments below for future video subjects and suggestions for improvement.

Thanks,
Abi Jones

Price: $1.86 (on sale)
Serving: 1 meal, 8.8 oz.
Calories: 510
Fat: 22%, 14g
Sodium: 42%, 980mg
Protein: 38%, 19g

Kid Cuisine says: Dip and Dunk these cheesy pizza strips in tasty pizza sauce! Our dippin’ strips give cheese pizza a fun-tastic makeover.

Abi says: I was so thoroughly disgusted by this meal that I’m not sure where I should begin in grossing out readers. Wait, I take back the ‘thoroughly’. Once again, Kid Cuisine delivered excellent corn. Corn must be the most awesome microwavable vegetable ever. Nicole occassionally pines over corn. I understand this as it is a pretty terrific food item, but let’s go back to the disturbing nature of this meal.

Why the heck did I choose to eat a Kid Cuisine Pizza Strips meal? A long time ago they went on sale and every few weeks I have to choke one down to make more room in the freezer. I am studiously avoiding the Deep Sea Fish Sticks and the Fiesta Beef Taco Dippers. I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought them. Ok, I know what I was thinking ‘I finally have the chance to eat a meal that I’ve wanted since I was 10 years old!’. Apparently my mom is infinitely wise in not allowing these meals inside of the house.

While I could go on to regale you with the repugnance of this meal, I will simply implore you take a good long look at the photo to the right. That is a tissue full of pizza strip mush. Why would I be showing this to you? Well, I feel that images are sometimes the best warnings. The first photo in this review is far too innocent.

I had to spit that out because I could no longer stand the taste of “fun-tastic” pizza. The consumption of non-candy “fun-tastic” foods is just asking for trouble.

Check out other Kid Cuisine meals I’ve subjected myself to so that you won’t have to spit food into a Kleenex:

All Star Chicken Breast Nuggets
Carnival Corn Dog

Price: $1.86 (on sale)
Serving: 1 meal, 8.8 oz.
Calories: 460
Fat: 29%, 19g
Sodium: 35%, 830mg
Protein: 36%, 18g
Carbs: 17%, 50gs

Kid Cuisine says: A meal with an all-star cast, complete with a multi-colored star sprinkle packet. So sprinkle some happiness and treat yourself to a galaxy of great taste.

Abi says: When a coworker describes chicken as ‘airy’ you should probably assume that is a bad thing. Ok to be airy: puff pastry, Not ok: meat. From those sentences, you’ve probably deduced that my chicken nuggets were airy. Also, I keep misspelling nuggets as nuggest. Why? Because I had to type the word ‘breast’ in the title and now I have all of my s’s and t’s confused.

I didn’t eat the pudding. Before you go questioning my journalistic integrity, please note that I consumed the pudding in my review of the Kid Cuisine Carnival Corn Dog. These meals were purchased at the same time, thus it is unlikely that there was improvement in the product while there were hanging out in my freezer.

The corn was the blandly amazing star in this meal from Kid Cuisine while the macaroni and cheese was styrofoamy and the chicken nuggets drove me insane. Why? Because the instructions on this meal are as follows:

1. Cut and remove film cover from the tray except over corn. REMOVE CHICKEN NUGGETS AND SPRINKLES PACKET.

2. Microwave meal on HIGH 1 1/2 minutes; stir macaroni & cheese. REPLACE CHICKEN NUGGETS; continue microwaving 1 minute 45 seconds.

3. Let stand 2 minutes in microwave. CAREFULLY REMOVE AS PRODUCT WILL BE HOT; stir macaroni & cheese and pudding.

Here’s a picture:

I had enough trouble with these instructions as an adult. Can you imagine being a kid and following them? I’m guessing that while this meal is made for kids to eat, it is not made for kids to actually cook themselves. You have to have an adult around for these instructions. Not exactly a timesaver.

Price: $3.29
Serving: 1 meal, 8.8 oz.
Calories: 410
Fat: 15%, 10g
Sodium: 26%, 620mg
Protein: 10g

Kid Cuisine says: You don’t have to go to the carnival to get corn dogs anymore. We got ‘em right here! Spice up the fun with a carnival sprinkle packet to make your chocolate pudding festive! It’s a party in a meal!

Abi says:

Turkey Dog? Check.
French fries? Check.
Corn? Check.
Pudding? Check.
Mini-marshmallows and sprinkles for pudding? Check.

Congratulations ConAgra! You’ve figured out a way to add sugar to every part of a child’s diet. This odyssey of sugar begins with the turkey corn dog. I love corn dogs. I used to live in Texas and work in an elementary school. My corn dog consumption was at a rate of approximately 1 corn dog per two weeks. I know, you’re saying that’s not a lot of corn dog. Please remember that a) Corn dogs are not good for you and I am aware of that, b) I was raised by an Earth mother in Oregon, and c) the deli section of HEB was often sold-out when it came to corn dogs. Spicy brown mustard (a valued condiment for Morningstar Mini Corn Dogs) isn’t going to help the cause of the Carnival Corn Dog. The corn bread coating cloys and the turkey dog is strangely robust. By robust I mean far too chewy for comfort.

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