Price: $3.19
Serving: 1 package, 11.4 oz.
Calories: 290
Fat: 11%, 7g
Sodium: 25%, 600mg
Protein: 16g
Carbs: 13%, 39g
Fiber: 40%, 10g
WW Points: 6 Points
Diet Exchanges: 1 Lean Meat, 1.5 Starch, 1 Carbohydrate, .5 Fruit

Healthy Choice says: Roasting brings out the flavors of our tender and lean white meat chicken. Creamy mashed potatoes and savory mushroom sauce with hints of thyme and sage, a medley of peas and carrots, and sweet peach crisp complete this satisfying meal.

Jess says: You should only eat this meal if you want to punish yourself for something bad that you did in a previous life. They should call the meal ‘Karma Chicken’. This large rock of chicken definitely has that pureed-chicken-bits-reformed-to-look-like-chicken-breast look, as in ‘disgusting’. While eating it, I had the joy of biting into one of those fat roadblocks, which I had to spit out. You know what I’m talking about. Those things are nasty.

The at times globular and at times runny gravy had two minuscule mushroom bits and very little flavor. To top off the entree, the potatoes have that grainy, paperish taste of instant potato flakes. I would be able to describe them better if there were more than two bites of them. They went by too quickly for my taste buds to make any real judgements. The peas and carrots were awesome, but I feel like peas and carrots are naturally awesome. They are really low maintenance veggies and they caused me to make this mental note: eat more peas and carrots.

I was excited that the peach cobbler had some oaty grains on the top, so I would have the joy of eating more than just the pie filling that is in most of the other Healthy Choice desserts. But while eating the “cobbler”, I found it just tasted like oaty pie filling. It was as if cereal had accidentally fallen into the pie filling can. Not much for flavor, nor desserty joy. On the plus side I now feel redeemed for my sins. Thank you Karma Chicken. It’s like I never even went to Vegas!

(I’ve confirmed that the potatoes were made from flakes. Come on Healthy Choice! You have these new commercials showing chefs making your “new packaging” meals and then you go and use potato flakes? Ew. — Abi Jones, Editor)

Price: $2.00 (sale at Giant)
Serving: 1 package, 10.4 oz.
Calories: 240
Fat: 5%, 3.5g
Sodium: 25%, 600mg
Protein: 20g
Carbs: 11%, 32g
Fiber: 12%, 3g
Diet Exchanges: 2 Very Lean Meat, 2 Starch
WW Points: 4 Points

Healthy Choice says: Chicken tenderloin medallions and shrimp in a spicy tomato Cajun-style sauce are tossed with white rice, red and green bell peppers and celery.

Nicole says: I was betting on you, Healthy Choice - I thought you could make it happen this lunch time. I had the obscene hope that you could produce an edible Cajun Style Chicken and Shrimp. But it’s got no style, as evidenced by the watery tomato sauce has a teensy-weensy bit of spice to it. That makes it Cajun? The people of Louisiana would laugh in your face if they weren’t busy preparing for hurricane season. You included 3 or 4 pieces of tasteless, mushy slices of celery. That makes it Cajun? No thank you, Healthy Choice. Additionally, your rice cooked up too hard, the shrimp was chewy (I did have my doubts about making that work in the microwave,) and the chicken “medallions” were either dry or soft enough that they melted in my mouth. Chocolate should melt in your mouth, not chicken. They weren’t even medallions, they were chunks. I expect medallions to have a round shape, just like I expect you to stop abusing the word ‘Cajun’ on your packaging.

Price: $2.00
Serving: 1 pizza, 6 oz.
Calories: 360
Fat: 8%, 5g
Sodium: 25%, 600mg
Protein: 20g
Carbs: 19%, 57g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
Diet Exchanges: 1 Lean Meat, 3 1/2 Starch
WW Points: 7 Points

Healthy Choice says: We spread a slice of crusty French bread with rich and tasty tomato sauce then top it generously with mozzarella cheese. The result is a great
tasting meal that is also low fat.

Abi says: I got home late from class (10:45pm) last night and really needed something to eat. Unfortunately, George had consumed all of the leftover pizza from the weekend. I would have liked some craved pizza.

After standing before the open freezer for a few minutes (something I would not have been allowed to do as a kid but am now free to do because I pay my own bills) I realized that the best looking pizza in our freezer was also enormous. It was a huge, brick oven something or other. It looked marvelous, but all I wanted was a slice. So, I looked through my freezer for other pizza options. I had a DiGiorno rising crust microwavable pepperoni pizza. I had a Smart Ones microwavable cheese pizza. I had a Healthy Choice French Bread Pizza. No Red Baron. Sigh.

Ok, I’m not sure why I even had to explain my pizza choices there. You already know what kind of pizza I ate, the picture is right there: I’ve got a title up and everything. How was the Healthy Choice French Bread pizza? Bleh.

Yes, it was ‘bleh’.

The crust didn’t get crispy, just hard, and the cheese was an insult to the good name of mozzarellas everywhere. The sauce slammed my tastebuds with loads of High Fructose Corn Syrup. Seriously, I’m not one to knock the wonders of corn, but this was too much of a good thing. Or, depending on your viewpoint, too much of a bad thing.

I’d really like to say that I enjoyed this, as it goes on sale quite often. But I cannot in good conscience recommend that you buy this product.

Price: $2.50
Serving: 1 meal, 12.3 oz.
Calories: 380
Fat: 11%, 7g
Sodium: 19%, 680mg
Protein: 25g
Carbs: 14%, 41g
Fiber: 28%, 7g
Diet Exchanges: 2 Lean Meat, 1 1/2 Starch, 1 Carbohydrate
WW Points: 6 Points

Healthy Choice says: Our seasoned beef strips are seasoned with sweet bourbon sauce, crafted with with brown sugar, molasses, and Kentuckey bourbon whiskey. This meal is complemented with creamy garlic mashed potatoes, broccoli and carrots, and a sweet and crispy peach dessert to provide a satisfying, complete meal.

Abi says: Healthy Choice is careful about making promises that it can’t keep. Just check out that description. Apparently the beef is cooked. Uh, thanks Healthy choice, I would really hope so. Also, this meal comes with Vegetables, which means that they can give you just two skimpy bits of stringy carrot and call it a day.

Between the actual purchase of the meal and consumption, I try not to read the description of the meal. This is an excellent method for not feeling completely let down by your meal. For example, the description lists ‘garlic mashed potatoes’. As I ate the potatoes (the best part of the meal), I thought to myself ‘Wow, these are just a pile of tasteless goo that could really use salt, pepper, butter and a better texture’. Little did I know these were actually GARLIC mashed potatoes. I’m not sure if I feel more gyped gypped or less gyped gypped now. Is gyped gypped a word? After typing it three times it looks quite strange.

I just looked it up, apparently the word ‘gypped’ has two p’s.

On to the peach dessert, that taunted me with promises of peachiness. While carefully removing the film from ONLY the dessert, I thought ‘yum, I love apple crisp’. Then I read the box and realized that it was peach crisp. Ok, I could deal with a sort of brown peach crisp. Until I saw the peaches, that is.

Did you ever use guns growing up? I did. Guns are great fun for kids (when used responsibly and with adult supervision) of all ages. Of particular enjoyment is the entry-level BB gun. It is a starter gun that you can enjoy as a child and as an adult. While I’m not a fan of hand guns or gun shows, I am a fan of responsible gun use. I am also a fan of the way that BB’s essentially come in milk cartons. Yes, milk cartons of BB’s. Pretty awesome. Here’s a bunch of BB’s, actual size:

While this entire review is chock full of useful information that should help you avoid the dreaded Sweet Boubon Steak de Healthy Choice, it will not do you any good. This meal was recently discontinued by ConAgra. Hooray, consumer safety, hooray.