Price: $3.50
Serving: 1/4 pizza, 5.44oz.
Calories: 410
Fat: 31%, 20g
Cholesterol: 13%, 40mg
Sodium: 47%, 1120mg
Protein: 19g
Carbohydrates: 13%, 38g
Fiber: 10%, 3g
Sugar: 4g
Weight Watchers Points: 9 Points

Freschetta says: Inspired by traditional family recipes handed down for generations, Freschetta Brick Oven has a classic square shape, a crispy fire-baked crust and is topped with only the finest ingredients.

Abi says: My unending love affair with Freschetta pizza concluded with my consumption of this item. It is 8am the next morning and I can still taste the disappointment.

I looked forward to this pizza. It was on sale at Safeway (I bought it while filming unused shopping card footage for the Kid Cuisine video review), so I purchased this meal with the abandon I usually reserve for known products. When I finally pulled it out for a dinner, I realized that the baking time was considerably shorter than most pizzas. This needed a bake time of just 12 minutes. Score one for the new pizza.

When I pulled the amazingly baked after just 12 minutes pizza from the oven, I placed it on a cutting board and realized the genius of the brick oven pizza.

1. It is a square item in a square box. This means that while the pizza is thinner than other pizzas, it actually fills the box that it comes in.
2. Cutting a square pizza into reasonable slices is easy. Seriously, this is genius. Cutting pizza is a total pain unless you have one of those special cutter guides that they use at Costco (and they do not wash them in between uses - ew). Or, you might be a pizza-cutting pro like the folks who work at Abby’s Pizza, a place my parents used to tell me was named after me - don’t ever do that to your kids, it will totally make them think that they own a pizza parlor.
3. If your oven bakes unevenly (mine does not, the oven is the best-working thing in this apartment) this pizza will be easy to rotate.

With little difficulty, I cut the pizza into eight somewhat even slices, plated up three and took the pizza downstairs to watch the news during dinner. Each of my slices was a lovely amalgam of bright red sauce, melted cheese and pepperoni. I took a bite as was greeted by an uncomfortable burning sensation. I figured that while the crust of the pizza had cooled, perhaps the sauce was piping hot and that’s what did me in.

So I sat back for a minute to let me pizza cool. While watching the news I realized that every commercial was for products that I hope I will never need:

1. Lotion marketed to women with menopause-caused dry skin
2. Cold medicine for people with high blood pressure
3. Fiber Supplements
4. Impotence Drugs

Television news is for old people. And people who eat this pizza and end up with high blood pressure because it is so amazingly salty. You see, the sauce wasn’t hot. The pizza was so freaking salty that it burned my mouth. I like spicy, salty, mouth-burning, vindalooesque foods, so this pizza confused the bejeezus out of me. I couldn’t handle the salt? Could that be true? This pizza was so salty that I couldn’t even taste the sauce or cheese or the I-don’t-want-to-know-what-it-is meatiness of the pepperoni.

I sincerely appreciate the Schwann corporation and their dedication to making Freschetta pizza, but I wonder if I got a bum pie. A salty bum pie. Time for another glass of water.

Price: $5.00
Serving: 2 slices, 5oz.
Calories: 380
Fat: 26%, 17g
Cholesterol: 10%, 30mg
Sodium: 41%, 980mg
Protein: 17g
Carbs: 14%, 41g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 9 Points

Freschetta says: Pre-sliced and covered with generous amounts of large-cut toppings and all natural cheese that complete the take-out pizza experience. Since each pizza is baked and served on a disposable tray, there is minimal oven mess and no pizza cutter to clean — truly giving moms the night off from cooking.

Abi says: This is my favorite frozen pepperoni pizza. Ever So far. The ratio of perfectly seasoned sauce to crisp yet soft crust to melty, stringy, ideally spread mozzarella is my own slice of pizza heaven.

The name of this item (Pepperoni Duo Pizza) suggests that this item is topped with two types of pepperoni. I have no idea whether or not this is true. Sure, half of the pepperoni slices appear to be slightly darker than the other half of the slices, but I could not detect a flavor difference. What I do know is that for our oven, ditching the included tray and baking this on a cookie sheet worked wonders for crispiness. Yes, readers have noted that their included tray worked just fine, but after the 10-Topping pizza experience I just didn’t feel like taking that chance. I have trust issues. And, as the photo above displays, I have a baking sheet that is the perfect size for this pizza.

Contrary to popular opinion, this pizza still requires some sort of cutting device to get through mozzarella. Are y’all infused with the magic ability that causes mozzarella cheese to separate at your command? I could use a talent like that, a talent that would probably come in handy more often than my ability to make toffee without using a candy thermometer.

Much like buttery almond toffee, Freschetta pizza must be infused with addictive substances. The evening we ate this pizza for dinner George took off for a study group and I decided that I was still hungry ravenous. So I ate the remaining two slices of the pizza. Yes, I ate 2/3 of this pizza. And it was awesome. I had no regrets. Well, except for when George got home from studying, opened the fridge, found it empty and said ‘Hey, didn’t we have some leftover pizza?’

“Oh,” I replied without looking up from my book. “I ate it. It was great.” And then I sighed with the contentment of a person full of truly fantastic pizza.

If you’re looking for a rising crust pizza that doesn’t have quite the puffiness of DiGiorno (or the huge pools of oil), try Freschetta’s pepperoni duo pizza. You won’t be sorry. In fact, you will be happy. And full of pizza.

P.S. Previous comments have noted that Alton Brown suggests using a pizza cutter to cut brownies. This is an awful idea and probably the only opinion on which I’ve ever differed from Mr. Brown. The ideal brownie-cutting device is a dough scraper. Evidence is available at Big City Little Kitchen.

Price: $5.00 (on sale)
Serving: 2 slices, 5oz.
Calories: 380
Fat: 25%, 16g
Cholesterol: 10%, 30mg
Sodium: 40%, 950mg
Protein: 17g
Carbs: 14%, 41g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 9 Points

Freschetta says: Pre-sliced and covered with generous amounts of large-cut toppings and all natural cheese that complete the take-out pizza experience. Since each pizza is baked and served on a disposable tray, there is minimal oven mess and no pizza cutter to clean — truly giving moms the night off from cooking.

Abi says: Before I even get into how this pizza tastes or how silly I find the name, can we take a moment to ponder two things?

1. Do people still using pizza cutters? As a fan of Alton Brown and recent reader of his Kitchen Gear book, I have to say that a pizza slicer is a waste of space for most home cooks and a pain for any hand-washer to clean. Get yourself a good, sharp, big knife (the Santoku style works well on pizza) and give your rotary slicer to Goodwill.
2. “Truly giving moms the night off from cooking” makes me gag. Does it make you gag? Do you suddenly feel like you’ve been transported back to another era? I certainly do. I don’t have children yet, so I’m not sure who would feed them, but the idea that moms are solely responsible for dinner make me sort of sad.

Okay, enough ranting about the package blurb. Just kidding. From now on, whenever I add garnish or sprinkle spices over the top of something, I am going to call it a topping. The front of the Freschetta box lists the 10 toppings as:

1. Mozzarella
2. Parmesan
3. Pepperoni
4. Spicy Sausage
5. Green,
6. Red and
7. Yellow Bell Peppers
8. Roasted Red Onions
9. Garlic &
10. Oregano

I don’t know about you, but when I think of ‘toppings’ I think of things that go beyond the scope of cheese and seasonings: I think of vegetables and meats. Freschetta is reaching with the ‘10-Topping’ moniker, assuming that most consumers will behave as I did, trusting that there are ten toppings on the pizza rather than reading the box closely and realizing that calling garlic and oregano toppings rather than seasonings is something of a joke. Plus, the toppings are relatively scant considering that there are ‘10′ of them. The bell peppers and onions add beautiful color, but I’d like a bit of vegetable in every bite.

The pepperoni is terrifically peppery, adding a ton of flavor to the pizza without drenching it in oil. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever had to blot a slice of Freschetta pizza. This makes me happy, because pizza blotting reminds me that I’m a picky eater and that pizza is generally not healthy. While both of those things are true, they are realities that I try to ignore. The spicy sausage, ingredient number four, is even more scant than the bell peppers. I am confused about this, even more confused than when I attempt to apply blush without looking like a victim of scarlet fever or a street walker.

The Freschetta crust is perfectly puffy, but only slightly crisp. This is confusing as all get out because the pizza comes packaged with a ‘baking sheet’. Do not trust this baking sheet. It is a flimsy piece of paper coated in black and it will not make your pizza crisp. I recommend ignoring the baking sheet and placing the pizza on a cookie sheet.

Why do I recommend the cookie sheet route rather than my preferred on-the-rack baking method? Well, this pizza is pre-sliced, a bit of news that should be heartily welcomed by all of you that lack knives and cutting boards. Because I own a cutting board and multiple knives, I find this pre-sliced pizza a bit silly. The cheese melts together, so that still has to be sliced and in the end all that you’ve got is pre-sliced dough. That isn’t so helpful when you’re buying a pizza specifically designed to keep your children from handing sharp kitchen implements.

If it didn’t taste so darn good, I’d suggest skipping the PizzAmore and sticking to the regular non-pre-sliced pizzas from Freschetta. Wow, it is 9am on the West Coast, I had breakfast two hours ago and all I want right now is a slice of pizza. Damn you, Freschetta.

Price: $2.50 (two pizzas) (sale)
Serving: 1/2 pizza, 3.4 oz.
Calories: 220
Fat: 14%, 9g
Sodium: 22%, 520mg
Protein: 9g
Carbohydrates: 8%, 25g
Fiber: 8%, 2g

Freschetta says: Our Classic Supreme pizza features large cut roasted peppers that are intense in flavor. The special grind of the sausage meat, along with the spice blend carries greater flavor and perfectly balances the pepperoni. The marinara sauce is a bit more delicate so as not to overpower the toppings.

Abi says: Read the description above again. That is a pretty fancy way of talking about a frozen pizza. Delicate marinara? Specially ground sausage meat? You’ve got to be kidding me. Those are Wolfgang Puck sorts of adjectives, not something I should expect from a frozen pizza line (though yes, I understand Mr. Puck has a frozen pizza line. I have not tried it yet for two reasons: 1) ‘Uncured’ pepperoni gives me the heebie-jeebies, and 2) I have not yet seen it on sale).

Fortunately for all of us frozen pizza consumers, Freschetta is dead serious about making delicious and inexpensive (when on sale) frozen pizza without the aid of fancy-named chefs. These pizzas are approximately the size of ‘Personal Pizzas’ you’d find at a place like Pizza Hut, yet they’re considerably less caloriffic (440 for the whole, filling pizza). No, they aren’t diet food, but they’re a lot better for you than chowing down on a pint of New York Super Fudge Chunk (1240 calories).

Some food chemist (pizza designer?) went to unbelievable lengths to ensure that the ratio of crust to sauce to cheese to toppings was perfect in every way. The crust crisps up nicely in the oven, the sauce avoids bland-paste-neverland, and the cheese actually covers the entire pizza! Miracle of miracles!

Now, these pizzas aren’t complete perfection. They’re expensive. By expensive I mean that the regular price is $5.00 for the two small pizzas. So perhaps the pizzas are not expensive and I’m actually quite cheap. Whatever the reality, I only buy these when they’re on sale.

Now that I’ve written this review I realize that even at full price, these well-proportioned little gems are worth $2.50 each. I dare you to not like this flavorful medley of peppers, sausage, and pepperoni. I may be upping my pizza consumption once it stops being 90 degrees every day here in DC. My oven has been one lonely appliance lately.

I know, there’s not a picture of the pizza. I totally forgot to take one until after I’d already consumed the pizza. The next time I have one I will amend this review with an image of the pizza. For now you will have to be satisfied with my explanation that the actual pizza is startlingly similar to the photo on the box.