Price: $4.99 at Target
Serving: 1/3 pizza, 4.3oz.
Calories: 280 per serving
Fat: 15%, 10g
Cholesterol: 7%, 20mg
Sodium: 33%, 780mg
Protein: 15g
Carbohydrates: 11%, 34g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 9g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 Per Serving

California Pizza Kitchen says: Pizza crust topped with spicy peanut sauce with roasted peanuts, white chicken,
mozzarella cheese, carrots, bean sprouts, green onions, cilantro.

Abi says: I’m moving to California tomorrow. Also, my workplace (my real, actual job, not HeatEatReview.com) is launching a eCommerce system this month. Oh, and I’m sleeping on a couch. Well, not last night (my host is currently on a business trip) but tonight I will be back on the couch. Fun, eh?

So, when you have to leave behind your friends and idyllic Washington, DC life because a certain someone that you love is now in grad school on the other side of the country, you don’t cook. I love to cook, but I stopped doing it approximately 2 months ago. It was as though a little switch flipped in my head and said “The minute you start living out of a suitcase you are not allowed to actually prepare food. You may assemble meals, but you may not make anything from scratch.”

Fortunately, frozen pizza is allowed.

Unfortunately, I haven’t had a single decent frozen pizza this week. It is as though I’ve been cursed by some evil freezer fairy. I have to admit that I’m quite boring when I eat at California Pizza Kitchen. I get the Jamaican Jerk Chicken pizza or a salad. And a glass of overpriced Pinot Grigio. (Tip: if you eat at the bar and you’re nice to your server you will probably get a great pour) I am in love with Jamaican Jerk Chicken Pizza. It is mouthwaterlingly sweet and spicy and is topped with bacon. It is a hands-down winning pizza for people who do not adhere to kosher restrictions or the Koran.

Fortunately for people of all religious backgrounds (except for strict Buddhists), there are non-bacon pizzas. I just haven’t tried them. Before this frozen food experience, I’d never had the Thai Recipe Chicken Pizza and now I may never order it. If I’m with someone who orders it, I will probably request a bite of theirs to see how it really tastes, but at this point I will never pay money for it again.

This pizza starts with decent dough and degrades from there. It is topped it with watery peanut sauce, a mish-mash of veggies, and an unholy amount of cilantro. I am a cilantro lover and I took one look at the pizza and thought ‘That is too much cilantro’. I took one bite of the pizza and had to read back through the ingredients list. Are they positive that it comes with cheese? Really? On a plus note for you cilantro-haters, the flavor is completely baked out of the cilantro. Oh, and those vegetables? A textural note only. I know, I’ve been watching too much Top Chef. But we could all learn some lessons from Top Chef:

1. Don’t give your sous chef all of the credit
2. Don’t use salmon roe on EVERY SINGLE DISH
3. Put your Asian heart and soul into food and you will be a winner. It also helps if the other people self-destruct.

It would take destruction of the entire pizza aisle to get me to eat this again.

P.S. Target has the best prices on frozen pizzas. Their selection may be a bit limited, but I dare you to find lower non-sale prices.