Price: $1.29
Serving: 1 bowl, 2.8 oz. plus water
Calories: 330
Fat: 15%, 11g
Sodium: 42%, 1000mg
Protein: 11g
Carbs: 16%, 49g
Fiber: 10%, 2g

Betty says: Ribbon pasta in a rich Cheddar cheese sauce tossed with broccoli

Abi says: I have to admit that I was originally drawn in by the lovely broccoli images on the package. I imagined nestling into the couch with a steamy bowl of cheddary pasta studded with still-crisp bits of broccoli. Then, I realized that this was a shelf-stable item and I needed a reality check.

Earth to Abi. Come in Abi, come in.

Holy crap, I just ate 42% of my sodium for the day. Sodium aside, Betty Crocker’s Bowl Appetit Cheddar Broccoli Pasta isn’t so bad if you

a) like dehydrated cheese
b) like dehydrated broccoli

While I greatly enjoy dehydrated cheese (or cheese in any form), I cannot claim the same love for dehydrated broccoli. To make matters worse, it isn’t even listed as ‘dehydrated’ on the package. It is ‘dried broccoli’. Nothing says appetizing like some dried vegetables. Why is it that we’re so willing to eat dried fruits, but we don’t go near dried vegetables? I think the reason could be that when you reheat dried broccoli in the microwave, it spreads an otherwordly* odor throughout the office.

*Zombie breath

Price: $1.50 (on sale)
Serving: 1 bowl, 2.9 oz.
Calories: 340
Fat: 16%, 11g
Sodium: 12%, 290mg
Protein: 4g
Carbs: 19%, 58g
Fiber: 7%, 2g

Betty Crocker says: With Betty Crocker Warm Delights, you’re just three minutes away from heaven!

Abi says: I love cookies. I love perusing Anna Ginsberg’s site, Cookie Madness. I do not enjoy cookies ‘baked’ in a microwave. That makes me sort of sad, because eating cookies from a microwave is pretty much as lazy as you can get with cookie making.

Actually, after the experience of ‘making and baking’ Betty Crocker’s Fudgy Chocolate Chip Cookie, I believe that I have decided which is the laziest of cookie-making methods. The winner? It is one that has made me loved at poker nights around Washington, DC (ok, the ones at my house).

Here’s what you do:

1. Buy a bag of Pillsbury Pre-Made, Pre-Shaped Cookie Dough
2. Preheat oven to 350 farenheit
3. Place a sheet of aluminum foil on a cookie sheet
4. Place 8 balls of raw cookie goodness of aluminum foil
5. Bake cookies for ~10 minutes
6. Devour cookies
7. Toss foil in the recycling bin
8. Put cookie sheet back in the cupboard

NO DISHES TO WASH! Oh, think you can beat that with your microwaved cookie? HA! I had to measure water, mix it up with a spoon, heat the thing, almost burn it (even though it was well below the minimum recommended heating time), then squeeze on some fudge that would have been better reserved for naughty body paint.

It was more of pain to make the microwaved version than to bake the Pillsbury dough. Plus, I had to eat it with a spoon. And I burned my mouth. Oh, and the complaining doesn’t stop there. You see, that fudge created some sort of wicked cement that glued burning hot cookie dough and scorched chocolate chips to the roof of my mouth. Ouch.

I enjoyed the Fudge Brownie Dessert from Betty Crocker’s Warm Delights line, but I derived only pain from this cookie. If you’re a masochist, this may be the dessert for you! Maybe the sadists out there could watch someone else eat it and suffer the embarrassing pain of a roof-of-mouth burn.

P.S. I’m going to try that lemon one. It may actually be the first review that involves full-fledged swearing. Or I could be lowering my hopes so much that I’m wildly impressed by microwaved lemon gel cake. Wish me luck.

Price: $1.99 ($1.00 on sale)
Serving: 1 Cake, 3.5 oz.
Calories: 370
Fat: 19%, 12g
Saturated Fat:
Sodium: 20%, 490mg

Betty says: Simply add water, stir, microwave and in minutes you’ll be enjoying a warm, delicious bowl of Molten Chocolate Cake. With Betty Crocker Warm Delights, you are just three minutes from heaven!

Abi says: On one hand, it is nice to make a cake in the microwave and confuse coworkers. On the other hand, this cake contains a quarter of my saturated fat for the day and the ‘molten fudge’ part tastes like chocolate glue.

Ah, choices.

Price: $1.29/bowl
Serving: 1 bowl, 2.4 oz (plus water)
Calories: 260
Fat: 9%
Sodium: 35%

Betty says: Tender rice and garden-style vegetables in a rich herb chicken stock

Jessica says: While I was at first disappointed by the Herb Chicken flavored Vegetable rice’s interpretation of vegetable (while adding water to the necessary line I observed that “vegetable” in fact meant “just peas”) I later discovered that the peppers were lurking at the bottom and this made me happy. Full of flavor and with a surprising hint of a cheesy taste, this meal was the best thing going for $1.29.