Heather takes it to Amy’s Kitchen for being a bit suspicious in their burrito naming conventions. Does tofu = breakfast for you?

Price: $2.29
Serving: 1 Burrito, 170 g
Calories: 250
Fat: 11%, 7g
Sodium: 23%, 540mg
Protein: 9g
Carbs: 13%, 36g
Fiber: 20%, 5g

Amy’s says:Organic potatoes, tofu, black beans, vegetables and salsa wrapped in an organic flour tortilla. Non-dairy/no cholesterol.

Heather says:By and large, I love Amy’s products. By and large, so does HeatEatReview.com. Just take a look at that Amy’s brand link down there if you don’t believe me. Lucky Amy, she is favored well here.

This favoritism may be largely due to the fact that Amy’s Kitchen is consistently yummy. When I picked up this burrito, for example, I did so with a fair amount of certainty that I would find it tasty. I was not let down.

The one exception I do take to this product is its name. “Breakfast” burrito, you say, Amy? Er? I don’t know about the next person, but the words ‘breakfast burrito’ make me think of scrambled egg product wrapped in a flour tortilla and served out a drive-through window at your nearest McDonald’s. They do not, however, make me think of healthful whole wheat tortillas filled with potatoes, tomatoes, beans, and tofu. I think Amy may be trying to be a little too creative with her name choices, as this product doesn’t look all that distinguishable from any of her other bean burritos, except perhaps that it is lacking cheese. So what exactly makes it breakfast-y? The tofu? No, Amy, no. Just name the thing a tofu-potato burrito and call it a day. Vegans tend to like tofu. We’re okay with it. Really. Next time, embrace your inner vegan and just place the tofu name proudly on the cover.

Even if you’re not vegan, you might want to enter our contest.

If lasagna were to be a brick house*, then cheese would be the mortar - the substance without which, the building would be flimsy and unstable…

Price: $3.49
Serving: 1 Lasagna, 9.5 oz.
Calories per serving: 310
Fat: 18%, 11g
Sodium: 28%, 680mg
Carbs: 14%, 41g
Fiber: 24%, 6g
Protein: 13g

Amy’s Kitchen says: For those who prefer not to eat cheese, the same delicious sauce, organic pasta and vegetables as the Vegetable Lasagna, but made with tofu and soy cheese.

Jess says: If lasagna were to be a brick house*, then cheese would be the mortar - the substance without which, the building would be flimsy and unstable. Similarly, I believe that melted cheese may be the glue that holds my life together. I just now tried to mentally erase cheese from my own personal history and realized that it all became an intangible blur and then I shuddered.

So why would I buy something “for those who prefer not to eat cheese”? Well I didn’t read the ingredients. I saw the pretty picture that insinuates pasta, cheese, tofu, and veggies and, liking all these things, assumed that this would result in another rave review dedicated to Amy’s Kitchen. While wanting for that melodic hunger ding of the micro, (I usually dance around in anticipation) I happened to survey what I was in store for. And leaping lizards! There I see fake soy cheese! A co-worker was standing next to me. “That’s no good,” he said.

Abi later tried to convince me that there was cottage cheese in the lasagna. Then it turned out she was lying. Now allow me to enumerate:

1. The lasagna was tasty, but in a salty way, so that you know it is only tasty because it is so salty.
2. Soy cheese is not real cheese and should not pretend to be real cheese. It should look up to real cheese in the way that O’Douls looks up to Guinness.
3. When tomato saucy microwave dishes don’t make you cook them at half power, don’t get too excited about the quicker prep time. It results in hardened, tomatoey crust along the perimeter that you cannot eat, though you may still be hungry. You will probably feel robbed and want to turn back time and do some half power cooking.

In conclusion, if you do eat real cheese, buy lasagna with real cheese.

*As I wrote that, I was singing the song Brickhouse by Lionel Richie and The Commodores. You may have done that too. As a kid, instead of “she’s mighty, mighty,” I thought they were saying “she’s mathematic” not that either choice makes sense with ” just lettin’ it all hang out”.

When Amy’s Kitchen says “distinctive flavor . . . for which Asian cuisine is famous” they mean “this tastes like ginger”..

Price: $2.29
Serving: 1 Meal, 10 oz.
Calories: 290
Fat: 11%, 7g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 28%, 630mg
Protein: 9g
Carbs: 17%, 50g
Fiber: 16%, 4g
WW Points: 6 Points

Amy’s Kitchen says: The tender organic rice noodles, combined with a traditional chinese sauce, organic mushrooms and organic vegetables give Amy’s Asian Noodle Stir-Fry the distinctive flavor and texture for which Asian cuisine is famous.

Amy says: I ate this meal a while ago and forgot to submit a review. Details of the meal are a bit fuzzy, but I do remember several irrelevant facts and they are as follows: 1-I heated this and then brought it to Dupont Circle to eat, it was a beautiful spring day and 2-I picked out the broccoli because I loathe broccoli. This may be because when you steam broccoli it smells like fart and the odor is very strong. I have never been able to get past the funky smell of steamed broccoli and will not eat broccoli in any form.

There are also two things I remember about this meal (and yes, they are relevant) that left quite an impression on my brain and taste buds. Item 1-when Amy’s says “distinctive flavor . . . for which Asian cuisine is famous” they mean “this tastes like ginger”. I do enjoy ginger, but other flavors come to mind when I think of Asian food, such as soy sauce, sesame oil, and teriyaki sauce. This entire meal tasted like ginger. Mayhaps I would have enjoyed the broccoli had I left it in as it would have tasted just like ginger as well. I am thinking about Abi as I write this, she is passionate about her ginger, mayhaps she would be enamored with this bowl. This leads me to Item 2-the noodles to vegetable ratio was not ideal for me. Even after I had removed the broccoli I ran out of noodles long before I ran out of vegetables. I like a bit of noodle and vegetable in every bite, but once the noodles were gone all I could do was stare morosely at the remaining veggies.

Overall, the meal was decent, but not Amy’s finest. I love me some Amy’s, but have learned to stick to meals that somehow involve dairy.

After consuming this meal, I’ve decided that I prefer my dal in lentil form. Speaking of lentils, did you ever go to the State Fair when you were a kid and try the lentil chili? We would beg my mom to buy lentil chili mix. Odd kids, I know…

Price: $3.49
Serving: 1 tray, 10 oz.
Calories: 240
Fat: 23%, 9g
Cholesterol: 2%, 5mg
Sodium: 28%, 680mg
Protein: 10g
Carbs: 13%, 38g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
WW Points: 5 Points

Amy’s Kitchen says: Smooth, creamy palak paneer, made from organic spinach and soft Indian cheese, is lightly spiced with authentic Indian herbs and spices. Rajmah dal, made from organic red kidney beans in a ginger-garlic sauce and tender organic basmati rice complete this delicious meal.

Abi says: This meal tastes like the leftovers that you take home from a restaurant and reheat the next day. They’re never as good as the original and you’re often left wondering if the food has reacted poorly to the environment of your fridge or if it was the glorious restaurant atmosphere (and carafe of wine) that made the meal great.

In the case of Amy’s Palak Paneer, there were two problems. The first is that it is currently 90 degrees in DC and the A/C at HeatEatReview.com headquarters can’t handle the heat. The second issue is the general blandness and sogginess of the meal. I know, it is creamed spinach. But I couldn’t get over the fact that it has the consistency of baby food. There’s plenty of rice here, too much rice, in fact. It is just rice! I paid a lot for this meal and I get mostly rice. Thanks alot, Amy’s Kitchen. In other news, you’ll get just the teensiest dollop of so-so kidney-bean dal. After consuming this meal, I’ve decided that I prefer my dal in lentil form. Speaking of lentils, did you ever go to the State Fair when you were a kid and try the lentil chili? We would beg my mom to buy lentil chili mix. Odd kids, I know.

Overall, Amy’s Palak Paneer was one big, disappointing ‘blah’. Get the Pesto Tortellini Bowl instead.