Nicole

Quite frankly, nobody understands how Nicole manages to stay skinny while consuming plenty of Hungry-Man and Stouffer's meals.

In addition to defying caloric consumption models, Nicole likes to wear too-high heels and play video games, though not necessarily at the same time. She enjoys Guitar Hero and she once called in sick because she'd played too much Grand Theft Auto.

Really, do you know anyone else who's taken the day off for 'eye fatigue'? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Latest Reviews by Nicole:

Stouffer’s Lasagna with Meat & Sauce

October 3, 2007 | Reviewer: Nicole

Stouffer’s Lasagna with Meat & Sauce Price: $2.50
Serving: 1/3 package, 7oz.
All nutritional information below is for the entire package
Calories: 780
Fat: 39%, 18g
Cholesterol: 27%, 90mg
Sodium: 87%, 2070mg
Protein: 51g
Carbs: 27%, 84g
Fiber: 39%, 9g
Weight Watchers Points: 16 Points

Stouffer’s says: Traditional lasagna noodles layered with an herb seasoned tomato and meat sauce and three kinds of natural cheese

Nicole says: I dislike having to type out the names of what I’m eating as it often creates unexpected hostility. I was happy enough to be eating Meat Lasagna, but now I know that they felt the need to specify that it has SAUCE. You know, since lasagna doesn’t traditionally have sauce. Next time, I’m going to look for the “Lasagna with layered meat, sauce, lasagna noodles, and cheese

la-sag-na. [luh-zahn-yuh, lah-] noun.
1. large, flat, rectangular strips of pasta.
2. a baked dish consisting of layers of this pasta, cheese, tomato sauce, and usually meat.

(Source: Random House, unabridged, via dictionary.com)

OOOH, I see - Stouffer’s meant the first definition. Gotcha. The second wouldn’t be helpful here at all, really.

So the actual versus contrived disappointment with this meal is cooking time. The microwave in my office zaps things right quick - I usually use a time towards the lower end of a range or knock 10-20 seconds from the cook time. But I didn’t here, as lasagna is dense and notorious for not cooking through. I cooked for seven minutes. Which meant it was too hot to eat for another seven minutes. At this point I am starving, so I start eating this mighty tasty lasagna (although I’m sure inedible for those of you who recently took a “sabbatical” to Italy) - thick, hearty with a mild tomato sauce, lots of reasonably well-spiced beef and more cheese than exists in an entire freezer’s worth of Lean Cuisine meals.

Halfway through, there it is - the cold center bite.

Not frozen, not lukewarm. Cold. We’re talking cheese and BEEF. The cheese is still in shredded form, although it’s slightly softened.The beef is cold. I realize this isn’t exactly raw beef, but it’s not Goood Eats (see that extra “o” there? I’m not stealing any trademarks). So it has to go BACK IN the microwave for 45 seconds. That does the trick - but again, too hot to dig right in.

Wait two minutes.

Ahhh. This really is quite yummy and better than average, though it’s not Boston Market lasagna. The sauce could use some spice - but you can tell it’s made from tomatoes! Ground beef is featured on a range of sizes from tiny to a good (thumbnail) sized chunk. The entire tray is slightly overcooked on the top edges - but I like the crunch that creates - and the thick pasta sheets cooked thoroughly without falling apart. Finally, there’s plenty of cheese, cheese, cheese - thank you Stouffer’s!

I’m extremely pleased with size of this meal - it is “large” and filling, but not to the point of feeling particularly uncomfortable or ill. However, they do call this “three servings” which is a funny joke.

Filed Under Stouffer's Frozen Meal Reviews, Three Stars | 8 Comments

Stouffer's White Meat Chicken Pot Pie

September 4, 2007 | Reviewer: Nicole

Stouffer’s White Meat Chicken Pot Pie Price: $2.50
Serving: 1/2 Pie, 8oz.
Calories: 600
Fat: 54%, 35g
Cholesterol: 18%, 55mg
Sodium: 41%, 980mg
Protein: 16g
Carbs: 18%, 55g
Fiber: 12%, 3g
Weight Watchers Points: 14 in 1/2 pie

Stouffer’s says: A golden crust surrounding pieces of all white meat chicken, peas, carrots, celery & onions, in a gravy made with real cream

Nicole says: In my youth chicken pot pie was a dinner staple. I'm pretty sure we were eating Banquet brand, but I consider just about any chicken pot pie a childhood friend who never wronged me. They are crunchy, flaky, creamy, meaty… what else could you want? In addition to being child-friendly, they were also certainly mother-friendly due to the ease of preparation. I do, however, imagine that my mother set them aside for at least ten minutes before allowing us to eat them, as I don't recall burning my tongue on chicken pot pie until I was at least 15 and preparing one on my own.

Stouffer's chicken pot pie is microwaved in the opened box with the weird metallic-cardboard crisper thingy attached to the inside of the box. The crust certainly appears almost oven-baked. I ignored the direction to spin the box multiple 1/4 turns during heating since our office microwave has a carousel tray, and as payment I had to scour off bits of Stouffer-box that stuck to that glass tray during the cooking - maybe the turn would have helped.

So, crust: crispy, flaky, evidence of butter-taste. 100% yummy. I'm not a big fan of sweets, but savory dishes with pie crusts such as this entree and quiche are among my great comforts in life, just like the breading on country-~~friend~~ fried steak.

The creamy, chicken stock-rich base in this pie is thick enough not to run away as you slice into each bite of the pie. The chicken chunks it contains are indeed all white meat and has a lovely natural texture and density not always found in the frozen food world. I'm not a fan of peas or cooked carrots, but they just seem so right in a chicken pot pie. This pie is slightly larger than Banquet's pie in depth and weight.

Stouffer's chicken pot pie is very filling, and I mean it - you might be like, "Wow, I'm just about stuffed," and still have four bites left. In fact, this package contains "2" servings. Who splits a pot pie? I didn't when I was eight and I'm not about to start now. However, maybe you want to split, especially if you want to stay near a 2,000 calorie diet and plan on eating another meal in the same day. Or save it for dinner, usually the largest meal of the day.

But seriously, show me something else that's this tasty and 1200 calories for $2.50! Personally, I feel like I've really accomplished something when I've managed to swallow 1200 calories of delectable meat pie for lunch. If you like (or think you may like) chicken pot pie, Stouffer's offers a product to fulfill your wildest fantasies.

Filed Under Chicken, Five Stars, Stouffer's Frozen Meal Reviews | 15 Comments

Stouffer’s Corner Bistro Chicken Italian Panini

August 22, 2007 | Reviewer: Nicole

Stouffer's Chicken Italian Panini
Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Serving: 1 sandwich, 6 oz.
Calories: 350
Fat: 26%, 17g
Cholesterol: 12%, 35mg
Sodium: 25%, 610mg
Protein: 20g
Carbohydrates: 10%, 31g
Fiber: 13%, 3g

Stouffer’s says: Strips of grilled white meat chicken topped with provolone cheese, grilled onions and peppers on Italian white bread

Nicole says: Stouffer’s new Corner Bistro offerings are rocking my world. I had the Turkey Club Panini recently and was mucho impressed (I will review sometime soon). The serving size is too small, no doubt, but just bring a small bag of chips, goldfish or carrot sticks and you’ve got a lunch.

The amazing “REVOLUTIONARY GRILLING(tm) TECHNOLOGY” really works in crisping up the sandwich bread. The contents are mostly tasty herbed chicken and melted provolone with a few peppers and onions for a spark of spice, and are generously proportioned enough to the sandwich size so as to make each bite a happy, well-mixed mouthful. And more than a mouthful is a waste, right? I would just about swear that this has more chicken than a standard-sized Lean Cuisine entreé - and it’s a freaking sandwich!

Immediately after eating the sandwich, you will feel satiated. I think it’s due to the bread. However, if you don’t take my advice and add a small bag of chips, apples, or apple chips, you’ll be hungry again in just a couple hours. If this meal were 1.5 times it’s actual size, then the moon would be in the seventh house and Jupiter would align with Mars. You know, harmony and understanding, blah, blah, blah.

Thanks, Stouffer’s!

Filed Under Four Stars, Stouffer's Frozen Meal Reviews | 12 Comments

Simply Enjoy Pad Thai with Chicken

July 18, 2007 | Reviewer: Nicole

Simply Enjoy Pad Thai with Chicken

Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Serving: 1 package, 10.58 oz.
Calories: 300
Fat: 11%, 7g
Sodium: 41%, 980mg
Protein: 13g
Carbs: 16%, 49g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 12g

Simply Enjoy says: Our Chicken Pad Thai is made with deliciously seasoned white chicken tenderloins that are simmered in authentic Thai-style peanut sauce. Served on a bed of traditional rice noodles this tangy-sweet Thai-style dish is destined to become a favorite with your friends and family

Nicole says: A great frozen Pad Thai is kind of like angels or wood nymphs. You maintain a secret, romantic hope that it/they is/are out there, but you know it’s a longer shot than Moses parting the Red Sea. So why was I excited about this meal?

Simply Enjoy has a pretty good track record here at HER headquarters. Their Indian entrees are pretty freaking amazing - nicely spiced sauces, good meat, and generous starch portions.

The Pad Thai with Chicken has a generous starch portion and I was excited that they actually used rice noodles rather than throwing peanuts and fish sauce over fettuccine. But the noodles didn’t come out great, instead they could only be described as rubbery. I suspect they were slightly overcooked, a likelihood since rice noodles do cook more quickly than wheat-based noodles. And speaking of overcooking, one section of sauce heavy noodles hardened in a slightly burned mass. I tried to eat it, but you try choking down burnt peanuts and hard noodles. It isn’t pretty.

This is a standard Simply Enjoy chicken portion - four medium large pieces of chicken (each slightly smaller than a stapler remover) and a couple of tiny pieces. The chicken’s got a decent texture and maintains some juiciness but little flavor - we depend on the sauce for that.

The sauce here is the real disappointment, though. Pad Thai? I should have known that “sweet-tangy” in the description wasn’t just a misprint. This meal tastes like sweet and sour sauce with peanuts thrown in. We have a few decent Thai restaurants in DC, so I fancy myself a decent judge of pad thai sauce. I’ve even made it once myself (surprisingly easy!). This is simply not Pad Thai sauce. There is the slightest hint of fish sauce, a heavy sweetness, and a tang (vinegar?). There are peanuts, but they are overcooked, robbing them of any crunch and most flavor.

I simply did not enjoy this meal, will not purchase again, and would not recommend to anyone. Unless you want mediocre, mislabeled sweet and sour chicken. Even then, I’m certain there are better mediocre sweet and sour chicken meals. And I suggest that those Canadians stick to Indian cuisine.

[For better mediocre sweet and sour chicken meals, check out Jess’s reviews of Lean Cuisine’s Sweet and Sour Chicken and Kashi’s Sweet and Sour Chicken. It appears that Jess is the Queen of all things Sweet and Sour at HeatEatReview.com -Ed.]

Filed Under Chicken, One Star, Simply Enjoy Reviews | 7 Comments