Nicole

Quite frankly, nobody understands how Nicole manages to stay skinny while consuming plenty of Hungry-Man and Stouffer's meals.

In addition to defying caloric consumption models, Nicole likes to wear too-high heels and play video games, though not necessarily at the same time. She enjoys Guitar Hero and she once called in sick because she'd played too much Grand Theft Auto.

Really, do you know anyone else who's taken the day off for 'eye fatigue'? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Latest Reviews by Nicole:

Lean Cuisine Flatbread Melts Chicken Ranch Club

March 7, 2008 | Reviewer: Nicole

Lean Cuisine Flatbread Melts Chicken Ranch Club Price: Free from Lean Cuisine
Servings Per Container: 1
Calories: 330
Total Fat: 14%, 8g
Saturated Fat: 16%, 3g
Cholesterol: 8%, 20g
Sodium: 26%, 640g
Protein: 21g
Carbs: 14%, 41g
Dietary Fiber: 17%, 4g
Sugars: 4g
Weight Watchers Points: 7 Points

Lean Cuisine says: White meat chicken, tomato, bacon & a ranch sauce in a soft flatbread.

Nicole says: I love bacon. I love it so much that I’ll even use those imitation bacon bits at the salad bar. They still taste “of” bacon, right? The essence of bacon. This flatbread melt has that same essence. And much more.

This must be the most colorful frozen meal I’ve had in weeks. Bright reds, yellows, greens, a light yellow “ranch sauce”. And as with my previous flatbread experience, this thing is herbed. As in, it contains some herbs and spices, and some flavor survived the freezing process. The flavor is the thing here- you can actually tell the ingredients apart by taste - the chicken tastes like chicken, the tomato tastes like tomato.

And the cheese? Well, there are two kinds, (reduced fat) mozzarella and (light pasteurized process) cheddar. The diet cheese is by no means a highlight of this meal, but you can taste it from time to time. I just hate the way it cooks up - light cheese is a very bad, highly uneven melter. Boo.

The flatbread aspect of the meal does three things. It holds the ingredients - you know, it’d be tough to eat a mess of chicken, tomatoes, yellow peppers, spring onions, and cheese without a conduit. It also makes the meal remotely filling, so you cold actually get away with eating this on its own for lunch (I, however, will supplement). Unfortunately, the chewiness of the bread and the juxtaposition of its flavorlessness next to the nicely seasoned filling takes away from the meal. I think they need to herb the flatbread, too.

Filed Under 7 WW Points, Chicken, Lean Cuisine Reviews, Three Stars, Trans Fat Free | 7 Comments

Amy’s Kitchen Single Serving Spinach Pizza

February 19, 2008 | Reviewer: Nicole

Amy’s Kitchen Single Serving Spinach Pizza Serving Size: 1 pizza, 7.18oz.
Calories: 440
Total Fat: 28%, 18g
Saturated Fat: 30%, 6g
Cholesterol: 7%, 20mg
Sodium: 33%, 780mg
Total Carbs: 18%, 54g
Dietary Fiber: 12%, 3g
Sugars: 5g
Protein: 19g
Weight Watchers Points: 10 Points

Amy’s Kitchen says: Even if you don’t ordinarily eat spinach, you’ll like this pizza. The light, tender crust made from organic wheat flour and extra virgin olive oil is first topped with our savory italian sauce made from organic tomatoes. Then we add organic spinach blended with feta and sprinkle mozzarella on top. Delicious and satisfying.

Nicole says: It’s rare that I review two meals in a day. Rarer still that I eat organic, vegetarian fare. But see, I’m hungry, and just about all the meals in the fridge are too-be-reviewed. And I like spinach. I’m just not in the mood for Pineapple Black Bean Chicken. And not just because it comes with raisins.

Amy’s pizza has “No GMOs”, or biologically engineered ingredients.

The preparation of Amy’s pizza is onerous and does not allow for the use of a microwave, so you’d better have a conventional or toaster oven. Preheat your toaster oven - okay!… remove the pizza from it’s outer wrapping - this doesn’t look too bad… and let it thaw on the counter for 15-20 minutes. Are you kidding me? I suppose if you love this thing, you’d know about the thaw time, and would plan ahead for your hunger. But being an Amy’s pizza newbie, I was disappointed, and my tummy was growling. I waited, and waited… 15 minutes. Toaster oven bake time is seven to nine minutes - my cheese browned just a bit after 7.5 minutes in - but the meal was cold again fifteen minutes later.

I should probably mention that this pizza was a tad bit freezer burnt out of the work freezer - it’s been in there at least five months [It has been there for at least 10 months - Ed]. This may have affected the quality. But that happens to all of us - you keep pushing back the toaster oven meals in favor of microwave meals so you don’t need to get your security key and enter the other side of your office and wait in a strange, small kitchen for seven to nine minutes rather than returning to your desk to work.

Amy’s pizza crust looks quite lovely, but you can see an awful lot of it - the cheese on this pizza is a hair skimpy. It did crisp up well on the edges, but was a bit soggy towards the middle of the pizza. Back to the cheese, there are two kinds - feta mixed into the spinach and mozzarella to cover. I love feta, but I couldn’t taste it at all. The spinach is about the only flavor you really get out of this pizza. When I hit a tomato, it was juicy and had great texture but it tasted of spinach. This pie is lacking a complexity of flavors that we’ve come to expect from . . . pizza with more than one topping. The spinach, feta, and tomato were concentrated in certain areas, and I liked those bites, but other bites were flat-out bland.

I’m still hungry. It’s just a hungry day. But my stomach stopped growling at me, so I suppose I’m full. I would recommend a side or snack if you wish to make a meal out of this 7.2 ounce pizza. Although it’s like the healthy, vegetarian equivalent of a Celeste pizza. Still, I wouldn’t push this one on anybody unless they had a strong spinach craving.

Filed Under Amy's Kitchen Reviews, Frozen Pizza Reviews, Trans Fat Free, Two Stars, Vegetarian | 8 Comments

Claim Jumper Salisbury Steak

October 24, 2007 | Reviewer: Nicole

Claim Jumper Salisbury Steak Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Serving: 1 package, 16oz.
Calories: 630 per serving
Fat: 55%, 36g
Cholesterol: 40%, 120mg
Sodium: 74%, 1780mg
Protein: 35g
Carbs: 14%, 43g
Fiber: 24%, 6g
Sugar: 7g
Weight Watchers Points: 16 points

Claim Jumper says: A giant ground beef steak grilled with a smokey flavor and brown gravy. Served along with it’s favorite side dishes, broccoli and macaroni and cheese.

Nicole says: I felt like Indiana Jones when I found this last night at the grocery store - a new brand of frozen food! More Claim Jumper reviews will be forthcoming. This meal is produced by a company running a chain of restaurant by the same name on the West Coast and into the Mid-West a bit. They are apparently known at the restaurant for their large portions. Yay, what a great way to get ready for a Winter of hibernating! All the meals I selected from this line last night are 16 ounces - that’s One LB., but unlike some sexist Swanson lines, Claim Jumper doesn’t feel the need to yell about size from the mountain tops or emblazon it in large letters across their packaging.

The preparation of this meal was on the caliber of a Marie Callender meal - the gravy packet was heated separately in a bowl (first time I’ve seen this in a Salisbury Steak dish), the broccoli had one tablespoon of water added before cooking, and both the meat/cheese/pasta plate section and the frozen bag of gravy had to be stabbed 2-4 times with a fork before cooking - when they say “to vent”, do they know I’m having a bad day at work? The cooking time is too ambiguous at “five to nine minutes”, so I chose the safe route - seven is central. Then I added ten seconds since I had a lasagna recently with a cool center. Bad decision. My macaroni burned on one edge :(.

Did I MENTION that the meal comes with Macaroni & Cheese? Large, thick, ribbed macaroni noodles make it feel homestyle and bright yellow cheese with a hint of Velveeta-ish flavor provide a devilishly tasty in the “I’m being a bad girl” way (versus the “Do you have any Grey Poupon” way). The broccoli steams pretty well - it could be a bit firmer, but it is far from mush and tastes as fresh and green as it looks.

And this thing they call “Salisbury Steak”. As if it’s not strange enough that the gravy is packaged separately, is not remotely gelatinous, and is offered in such a large portion that I, of all people, chose to discard a third - this meat has a tenderized but hearty, dense texture. You know how most Salisbury steak is a bit spongy? Which isn’t terrible, I mean, if it is manually tenderized, that can result. But this is just such an unusual, tasty, cut-of-meat versus reconstituted meat type texture. Not to say it’s not reconstituted (I’ll report back on that after I sneak into the Claim Jumper plant to do some research), but it doesn’t necessarily taste or feel reconstituted.

I am full, but I am not stuffed. And I feel like I had what could be described as a balance of healthy and tasty and super-fattening in my meal. Buy Claim Jumper food!

Filed Under Beef, Claim Jumper Reviews, Four Stars | 21 Comments

Stouffer’s Lasagna with Meat & Sauce

October 3, 2007 | Reviewer: Nicole

Stouffer’s Lasagna with Meat & Sauce Price: $2.50
Serving: 1/3 package, 7oz.
All nutritional information below is for the entire package
Calories: 780
Fat: 39%, 18g
Cholesterol: 27%, 90mg
Sodium: 87%, 2070mg
Protein: 51g
Carbs: 27%, 84g
Fiber: 39%, 9g
Weight Watchers Points: 16 Points

Stouffer’s says: Traditional lasagna noodles layered with an herb seasoned tomato and meat sauce and three kinds of natural cheese

Nicole says: I dislike having to type out the names of what I’m eating as it often creates unexpected hostility. I was happy enough to be eating Meat Lasagna, but now I know that they felt the need to specify that it has SAUCE. You know, since lasagna doesn’t traditionally have sauce. Next time, I’m going to look for the “Lasagna with layered meat, sauce, lasagna noodles, and cheese

la-sag-na. [luh-zahn-yuh, lah-] noun.
1. large, flat, rectangular strips of pasta.
2. a baked dish consisting of layers of this pasta, cheese, tomato sauce, and usually meat.

(Source: Random House, unabridged, via dictionary.com)

OOOH, I see - Stouffer’s meant the first definition. Gotcha. The second wouldn’t be helpful here at all, really.

So the actual versus contrived disappointment with this meal is cooking time. The microwave in my office zaps things right quick - I usually use a time towards the lower end of a range or knock 10-20 seconds from the cook time. But I didn’t here, as lasagna is dense and notorious for not cooking through. I cooked for seven minutes. Which meant it was too hot to eat for another seven minutes. At this point I am starving, so I start eating this mighty tasty lasagna (although I’m sure inedible for those of you who recently took a “sabbatical” to Italy) - thick, hearty with a mild tomato sauce, lots of reasonably well-spiced beef and more cheese than exists in an entire freezer’s worth of Lean Cuisine meals.

Halfway through, there it is - the cold center bite.

Not frozen, not lukewarm. Cold. We’re talking cheese and BEEF. The cheese is still in shredded form, although it’s slightly softened.The beef is cold. I realize this isn’t exactly raw beef, but it’s not Goood Eats (see that extra “o” there? I’m not stealing any trademarks). So it has to go BACK IN the microwave for 45 seconds. That does the trick - but again, too hot to dig right in.

Wait two minutes.

Ahhh. This really is quite yummy and better than average, though it’s not Boston Market lasagna. The sauce could use some spice - but you can tell it’s made from tomatoes! Ground beef is featured on a range of sizes from tiny to a good (thumbnail) sized chunk. The entire tray is slightly overcooked on the top edges - but I like the crunch that creates - and the thick pasta sheets cooked thoroughly without falling apart. Finally, there’s plenty of cheese, cheese, cheese - thank you Stouffer’s!

I’m extremely pleased with size of this meal - it is “large” and filling, but not to the point of feeling particularly uncomfortable or ill. However, they do call this “three servings” which is a funny joke.

Filed Under Stouffer's Frozen Meal Reviews, Three Stars | 8 Comments