Andrew Taylor

From a young age, Andrew subsisted on mostly artificial foods: McDonald's, Fruit Roll-Ups, Soylent Green. It is thanks to his hummingbird-calibrated metabolism, however, that he has not only survived, but somehow thrived on the finest food-like substances scientific progress has to offer.

Now that he's all grown-up and working nights at a small-town newspaper, he's eating five frozen meals a week and finding, thankfully, that man has made significant strides in frozen food technology since he ate Kid Cuisine monstrosities in the late 1980s. He even enjoys a lot of what he eats! And some of it is kind of good for him! Also, he's a Leo.

Andrew also reviews video games, music and underwear (among other things) at Andrew Taylor Recommends.

Latest Reviews by Andrew Taylor:

Amy’s Kitchen Indian Mattar Tofu

June 20, 2007 | Reviewer: Andrew

Amy’s Kitchen Mattar Tofu Price: $3 (on sale)
Serving: One package, 9.5 oz.
Calories: 260
Fat: 12%, 8g
Cholesterol: None
Sodium: 28%, 680mg
Carbs: 12%, 37g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
Protein: 12g

Amy’s Kitchen says: A non-dairy variation of the traditional Mattar Paneer, using tofu along with organic peas in a light, delicately seasoned sauce. On the side are fragrant basmati rice and what we call “Swarn’s Golden Lentil Dal,” which is simmered with organic tomatoes, onions and hand-roasted spices.

Andrew says: When I was a student at a preparatory academy during my junior and senior years of high school, I was "adopted" by some true-school Indian guys. One of them, a residence assistant on my floor, was like the brother I never had, and fed me like I was a member of the family. From samosas filled with curried peas and potatoes to chunks of delicious paneer (Indian cheese) slathered in exotic spices, I was awash in a new world of culinary delights for the better part of two years. And these were homemade meals, so they were accurate, fresh and lovingly made.

The experience kind of spoiled me. Now I live in northern Indiana, in a place where Indian restaurants are, for all intents and purposes, a fantasy. My Indian brothers have moved on to other areas, and so my exposure to the delights of Indian cuisine are far and few between.

I've known Amy's Kitchen makes frozen Indian meals for a while, but I've always been afraid to try them, lest they suck immensely. After all, I've only been exposed to the finest stuff; how could I expect a frozen meal to live up to that standard, or even come near it?

Well, I love frozen food. The advances made in frozen food since I've been born are absolutely astounding. Vegetables stay crisp and flavorful, meat no longer HAS to turn into a gelatinous mess, and even frozen mashed potatoes turn out pretty good more often than not. So, with that in mind, I took the plunge and invested my faith in some Amy's Indian meals.

They were all pretty fantastic. I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised, but the quality of these meals, when prepared properly actually approaches what I had before. In this version of mattar paneer (with tofu chunks standing in for the soft Indian cheese), there's a good, sweet curry flavor that actually reminds me of stuff my friend's mom used to make. It's not quite as spicy as I remember, but it's tasty.

And the tofu works well as a vegan replacement for the paneer. Texture-wise, they're almost identical, and to be frank, paneer's main utility in dishes like this seems to be texture, so there you go. Alongside the curried peas and tofu is golden lentil dal, which is good and spicy as well, but makes me wish I had some naan (flatbread) to sop it up with. Instead of bread, though, we're given the organic rice blend, which I'm sure turns out better in a microwave than flatbread would. And it's easy enough to spork up some rice and then spork up some dal and/or mattar tofu and then spork it into your mouth and say, "that Amy's sure can cook up some mean frozen Indian food!"

I'm giving this five stars mainly because I didn't think it was possible to create something frozen (and totally natural and totally organic) that could even approximate homemade Indian food. It's not quite restaurant or homemade quality, but for frozen food, it's basically the most fantastic thing ever.

[The tofu and cheese versions are loved by all who have consumed and written about them, including Jess of HeatEatReview.com (paneer review) and Tanya at Iateapie.net (tofu review) - Ed.]

Filed Under Amy's Kitchen Reviews, Certified Kosher, Cholesterol Free, Dairy Free, Five Stars, Gluten Free, Lactose Free, Vegan, Vegetarian | 16 Comments

Smart Ones Broccoli and Cheddar Roasted Potatoes

May 29, 2007 | Reviewer: Andrew

Smart Ones Broccoli and Cheddar Roasted Potatoes Price: $2.20 (on sale)
Serving: 1 meal, 10 oz.
Calories: 220
Fat: 9%, 6g
Cholesterol: 4%, 15mg
Sodium: 20%, 480mg
Protein: 9g
Carbohydrates: 11%, 34g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 points

Smart Ones says: We roast red russet potatoes to perfection, then add a generous helping of crisp broccoli, and smother it all with a creamy cheddar cheese sauce. So delicious, so satisfying … and another little way you can be good today.

Andrew says: When I was heating this meal up, it filled the air with a smell akin to that of McDonald’s french fries. Now, regardless of how you feel about the healthfulness (or lack thereof) of McDonald’s food, I think just about any person on the face of the planet can agree that the fry smell is excellent.

The fry smell is something the Lean Cuisine version of this meal didn’t really supply, so already the Smart Ones version was leading on the judge’s scorecards. This is rare in my experience, as Lean Cuisine meals seem to be much more consistent and flavorful than Smart Ones … ones.

But this Smart One kept bringing the goods, round after round. OK, I’ll stop with the boxing metaphors. I’ll just say this is an extremely tasty, yet simple dish that I think almost anyone could enjoy, given a taste for cheddar sauce.

Speaking of the sauce, it’s great! It’s robust and zesty and coats the potatoes and broccoli well. And there’s plenty of it! And it’s even more orange than the Lean Cuisine cheese sauce, which has got to be a good thing.

The potatoes have good, firm texture, but they’re certainly not too firm. The broccoli is pretty standard for frozen meals, which means it’s green, has that broccoli flavor, and is reasonably rigid. I had my dish in our work microwave for the suggested 6 minutes and everything turned out perfectly — steamy and hot. Love it when a plan comes together.

So why not five stars instead of 4.5? I’d love it if they threw some bacon in there. Lean Cuisine, for some reason, has this exact meal, and then another version with bacon bits in it. The bacon-inclusive meal, as you can guess, is slightly more satisfying for us carnivores. If you’re vegetarian, though, you should be more than happy with this version. But vegetarianism is certainly not a prerequisite for thorough enjoyment of potatoes, cheese and broccoli.

Filed Under 4 WW Points, Four Stars, Smart Ones Reviews, Vegetarian | 13 Comments

Kraft South Beach Chicken Monterey Wrap

April 4, 2007 | Reviewer: Andrew

South Beach Chicken Monterey Wrap

Price: $2.99 for two wraps
Serving: 1 wrap, 4.16oz.
Servings per Container: 1.5
Calories: 220
Fat: 11%, 7g
Cholesterol: 7%, 20mg
Sodium: 19%, 460mg
Protein: 25g
Carbs: 9%, 26g
Fiber: 24%, 6g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 per wrap

Kraft says: Each South Beach Diet Wrap provides a hot, delicious lunch or dinner at home or on-the-go. Enjoy with a small mixed green salad and your favorite South Beach Diet Dressing!

Andrew says: I’ve had good luck with South Beach Diet frozen dinners lately. I’m not on the South Beach Diet, but Kraft has a decent-looking lineup of gourmet-ish diet meals and, for the most part, they’ve been satisfying and tasty.

Still, I should have heeded the alarm bells going off in my head when I decided to buy two boxes of South Beach Diet wraps. How often does a frozen tortilla come out right in the microwave? I think mankind is still waiting. How often does a frozen mish-mash of cheese, meat and veggies reconstitute into anything other than a barfy paste? (I’m looking at you too, Hot Pockets!)

So I brought the Chicken Monterey wraps to work after a disappointing experience earlier in the week with the Denver Omlette-style breakfast wraps (somehow flavorless save for a disgusting onion aftertaste) and hoped for the best. The smell emanating from the microwave wasn’t entirely terrible, so I thought at least I’d get some flavor out of this one.

I guess my first warning sign should have been that the wrap stuck to the paper plate I’d deposited it onto. More accurately, paper plate material stuck to the wrap. Gross. The first bite of the wrap was entirely made up of the whole-wheat tortilla, which had hardened into something resembling card stock. The next bite included some soggier tortilla as well as some melty but flavorless cheese, a bit of completely flavorless chicken, a “red pepper”, and some way-too-mustard-y dijon sauce. There was supposed to be Monterey Jack cheese in there but all I experienced was this awful dijon sauce, filling every taste bud with a sense of nauseous dread.

I ate it all, and I survived. So did the terrible sour dijon aftertaste, unfortunately. But then I thought, “you know, maybe I overcooked it or something. I have one more wrap in the box, I’m going to try it later.” Yes, I am THAT DEDICATED TO FOOD REVIEWING. I adjusted the cooking time down slightly, took one bite and promptly deposited it into the trash. It wasn’t just me: This was pretty awful. I’ll still get other South Beach stuff, but the wraps are by far the worst frozen food I’ve had in months.

Filed Under Chicken, Kraft Reviews, South Beach Meal Reviews, Zero Stars | 15 Comments