Andrew Taylor

From a young age, Andrew subsisted on mostly artificial foods: McDonald's, Fruit Roll-Ups, Soylent Green. It is thanks to his hummingbird-calibrated metabolism, however, that he has not only survived, but somehow thrived on the finest food-like substances scientific progress has to offer.

Now that he's all grown-up and working nights at a small-town newspaper, he's eating five frozen meals a week and finding, thankfully, that man has made significant strides in frozen food technology since he ate Kid Cuisine monstrosities in the late 1980s. He even enjoys a lot of what he eats! And some of it is kind of good for him! Also, he's a Leo.

Andrew also reviews video games, music and underwear (among other things) at Andrew Taylor Recommends.

Latest Reviews by Andrew Taylor:

Gits Methi Matar

October 17, 2007 | Reviewer: Andrew

Gits Methi Matar Price: Provided by Gits Foods
Serving: 1/2 pouch, 5.3oz.
Calories: 224 per serving
Fat: 25.4%, 16.5g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 22.2%, 534mg
Protein: 6.9g
Carbohydrates: 4%, 12g
Fiber: 4.8%, 1.2g
Sugar: 0g
Weight Watchers Points: 5 Per Serving, 10 Per Pouch

Gits says: A very popular vegetable curry made of a combination of fenugreek leaves, green peas & fresh cream. And much liked by connoisseurs. Along with the aromatic taste of the fenugreek leaves and the green peas, the natural delicate flavors of Methi Matar are enhanced by a subtle aroma of spices and seasonings. Its slightly chewing consistency creating a dish which is as tasy as it is wholesome.

Andrew says: A few weeks ago, if you would have told me I could eat delicious Indian food out of a non-refrigerated silver pouch, I’d have told you to take your lies elsewhere. Now, though, I know this is no lie.

I’d never had Methi Matar before I ate this, but I feel well-versed enough in the Indian spice set to tell you this is a very authentic tasting dish. I get the feeling, due to its simplicity, that this is a dish meant as a side, or as one in a series of savory, soupy concoctions to greedily sop up with flat bread, but even alone, it’s wonderful.

The fenugreek leaves (the methi) add kind of a bitterness, but the peas (the matar) are sweet. There’s cumin and cinnamon, there’s clove and nutmeg. It’s a cornucopia of wonderful flavors. And I can read all the ingredients on the back of the box. Oh yeah, it’s all natural, kids! All in a space-age silver pouch.

The peas make up the bulk of the body here, and they’re just fine. I happen to love peas, so, you know, this is a good deal. The whole dish is a deeper green than pea green, but the flavor is somewhat orange, if you get my meaning. It’s spicy and warm and it warms you up with its flavor. You could eat it straight with a spoon (as I was part of the time, for scientific purposes), but it really cries out for some kind of bread medium. I had the last bit of it with some crusty, locally made artisan bread due to a lack of naan in my home and it was good even with that.

If you can find this in the imported food/ethnic cuisine section of your local market and you’re down with tasty Indian dishes, give it a shot. You don’t even need freezer space!

As of this review, these products are only available at Amazon.com Gits Store in 10-packs, though it appears that this particular product is out of stock. The price comes to $2.13 a pouch and the products are all eligible for Super Saver Shipping. So, you could buy a whole lot of Indian food and a book and get your shipping for free!

Filed Under Cholesterol Free, Five Stars, Gits Indian Food Reviews, Product of India, Vegetarian | 6 Comments

Marie Callender’s Golden Battered Fish Fillet

September 24, 2007 | Reviewer: Andrew

Marie Callender’s Golden Battered Fish Fillet

Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Serving: 1 tray, 12oz.
Calories: 450
Fat: 26%, 16g
Cholesterol: 12%, 35mg
Sodium: 49%, 1,170mg
Protein: 22g
Carbs: 18%, 53g
Fiber: 16%, 4g
Weight Watchers Points: 10 Points

Marie Callender says: At Marie Callender’s, our fish fillet is lightly dipped in a golden batter and served with seasoned rice and tender broccoli in a creamy cheese sauce

Andrew says: I'm not much for fish.

When I was a kid in rural Indiana, fishsticks were among the most vile foodstuffs I could imagine, and the McDonald's Filet-o-Fish was like a steaming patty of briny fish poo. This was how I saw most seafood for several years.

But I occasionally dip my toe in the sea and try some fish or some shrimp or clams or whatever else lives in water, just to see if my tastes have evolved. And lo and behold, they are starting to! Tilapia, for instance: I love it! And salmon! And calamari, when done right, is actually pretty tasty! A whole new world of culinary delight was beckoning to me!

But then I went and tried this Marie Callender meal. I should have known: Frozen fish product, particularly in a TV-dinner-type setting, is hardly ever representative of how fish ought to taste. And this meal is no different. We'll start with the non-fish parts, though.

The rice somehow ended up very dry, and despite the so-called "seasoning" on it, there's not much flavor to speak of, save for what it picked up from the fish product laying nearby. It's certainly not one of the better rice performances I've had in frozen fare. And the broccoli and cheese comes up short of even frozen-food expectations as well, with cheese sauce that's somehow lumpy and watery all at once, and doesn't even pack half the cheddary tang of cheese sauces in Smart Ones meals. The broccoli itself ended up rather limp and mushy, but retained a decent flavor. I never know if texture failures are on me for under- or overheating, or if they're systemic and indicative of a failure on the part of one Marie Callender. I guess I'll probably never know (like I'm ever going to buy this again).

Now back to the fish: It may be the saving grace in this sorry meal. It's not the worst frozen fish I've seen, and it keeps a somewhat "fresh" fish flavor that doesn't make me feel like I'm licking the barnacles off a schooner. I've always preferred the crispy, flaky beer-style batter to the crunchy, crumby style batter of, say, fishsticks, even though on this piece of fish, the batter was a bit soggy in spots. Who am I kidding, it was a bit soggy all over, and I'm gonna blame the microwave for that one.

But even if you heated this meal in the ol' convection oven, I doubt your taste buds could extract much joy. I can't imagine either fish-lovers or fish-haters taking pleasure this soggy, bland meal. I guess that means pretty much everyone ought to hate it.

Filed Under Fish, Marie Callender Reviews, One Star | 16 Comments

South Beach Diet Garlic Parmesan Chicken with Penne

August 15, 2007 | Reviewer: Andrew

South Beach Diet Garlic Parmesan Chicken with Penne

Price: $2.50 on sale
Serving: One tray, 11 oz.
Calories: 290
Fat: 17% Daily Value, 11g
Cholesterol: 18%, 55mg
Sodium: 34%, 820mg
Protein: 29g
Carbohydrates: 8%, 24g
Fiber: 32%, 8g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 Points

Kraft says: Breast strips with rib meat, penne pasta, broccoli, red bell peppers and asparagus in garlic parmesan sauce.

Andrew says: Kraft needs to work on their flavor text for South Beach meals. They all have the same lame note from the author of the diet and no real exposition on the meal you’re about to eat. In any case, I felt kind of bad that I had to go and drop that zero star rating on the South Beach wraps a while back, so I got a couple other meals of theirs that I expected to be more satisfying.

The first thing I noticed about this meal was the watery sauce. And then I realized that the penne pasta is whole wheat. The South Beach Diet must be pretty big on whole wheat, since Kraft uses whole wheat in their pizza crusts, the tortillas for those awful wraps and the pastas. The pasta isn’t bad, though it could be a little more al dente. By now I’ve come to realize that any frozen food pasta is a mini disaster waiting to happen, so any half-decent pasta is somewhat miraculous. Kraft’s South Beach pasta is half-decent.

Also I’d like to direct the readers’ attention to the inclusion of asparagus here. This is the first time I’ve ever had asparagus in a frozen meal and it turned out pretty nicely. It had a good buttery flavor to it and it wasn’t overly rubbery. It was my favorite part of the meal, actually, because the chicken (usually the highlight of frozen food for me) was both sparse and small.

The garlic parmesan sauce is mostly cheesy with some herbal notes, but it’s really not that garlicky at all. That said, it’s pretty smooth and kind of buttery (maybe that’s where the asparagus gets it). Also, sherry wine is in the ingredient list: Classy!

All in all, the meal was kind of forgettable. Certainly not one I’d avoid, but I could see myself buying this again in a month or so thinking I was trying something new, then starting to eat it and saying “hey, I HAVE had this before!” and feeling kind of let down.

I’m only 25, but this has happened more than I’d like to admit.

Filed Under 6 WW Points, Kraft Reviews, South Beach Meal Reviews, Three Stars | 10 Comments

Lean Cuisine Chicken Pecan

July 16, 2007 | Reviewer: Andrew

Lean Cuisine Chicken Pecan

Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Serving: 1 package, 9 oz.
Calories: 260
Fat: 9%, 6g
Sodium: 28%, 690mg
Protein: 19g
Carbs: 11%, 32g
Fiber: 16%, 4g
Weight Watchers Points: 5 Points

Lean Cuisine says: Roasted chicken in a caramelized orange sauce with snap peas and brown rice with pecans

Andrew says: As a guy who eats five frozen meals a week (I work second shift OK?), I have a subset of comfort foods devoted to the “safe” frozen meals I can buy and feel comfortable with the prospect of eating later, no questions asked. In any given week, I get about three experimental meals and two that I’ve eaten and enjoyed several times already.

This is one of the safe ones. Whole grain rice and pecans, plus pecan-infused orange sauce make for a very nutty flavor throughout. Nutty, indeed, with a slight sweetness, perhaps from the dab of honey in the ingredients list. And the orange sauce.

The chicken tenderloins are par for the Lean Cuisine experience: Bite-sized and lean. These, too, are imbued with a heartening nutty warmth and are decently juicy, again, assuming you can follow microwave directions (I’ve never heated it in an oven, FYI).

The tiny bits of carrots in the rice are basically color support and not much else. The snap peas, however, shine. Or snap. They bring a welcome change of texture and flavor, with some of that nice pea sweetness. Don’t think peas have sweetness? YOU’RE NOT TASTING HARD ENOUGH!

Anyway, if you like the woody, nutty essence that pecans bring to food, you should enjoy this on some level. This isn’t the first frozen meal I’ve had that included pecans, but this is the first to represent the essence of that nut so well.

It’s not mind-blowingly good, but I’ve had this meal about four times now, and each time it’s come out exactly the same. I reward consistency and pleasantness in equal measure.

Filed Under 5 WW Points, Chicken, Four Stars, Lean Cuisine Reviews | 8 Comments