Adina
Hi my name is Adina and I review microwave meals. I come from a Jewish family; when my mother found out I occasionally eat food that is flash frozen for freshness, she made five pounds of brisket and FedExed it to my apartment.
I lean towards Lean Cuisine and Trader Joe's because they are familiar and I am nothing if not a slave to my routine. Occasionally I'll buy Healthy Choice, but only when they are on sale and I have a strong craving for very bland tasting food. When I look at the 9 or so ounces of food I eat for lunch, I often wonder if fitting in my jeans is overrated. Lately I've been leaning towards "totally overrated" but I continue to eat them because they are closer to my mouth than the food they keep in restaurants.
I live in Philadelphia and oversee biomedical research. What qualifies me to tell genius scientists that their research sucks eludes me, but they continue to pay me so I continue to dish out the heartbreak. During lunchtime, I sometimes feel a little self-conscious about taking pictures of microwaved food, but I just remind myself that I do it to warn the internet about food that tastes even crappier than you would think. I do it for YOU, remember that when I ask you to give me your liver because mine is just so damn tired.
I have a personal blog at CraziAsian.blogspot.com where I talk about my true passions in life: noodles and farting. I am married to a wonderfully private man named Mr. Anonymous. Our wedding was this past September and my veil was actually a large paper bag that I wore over my head lest someone recognized me from my blog. It was a precaution I was willing to take for love.
Happy Eating!
Latest Reviews by Adina:
Healthy Choice Creamy Garlic Shrimp
April 18, 2007 | Reviewer: Adina
Price: $2.14 (on sale)
Serving: 1 meal, 11.5 oz.
Calories: 280
Fat: 8%, 5g
Cholesterol: 8%, 25mg
Sodium: 25%, 600mg
Protein: 13g
Carbs: 15%, 44g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
WW Points: 5 Points
Healthy Choice says: Delicious shrimp tossed with bow-tie pasta in a creamy garlic basil sauce, complemented with a side of green beans and carrots and tart cherry crisp to offer a complete, satisfying meal.
Adina says: I have to say off the bat, for 5 points and a giant tray of food, this meal is not a bad deal. I was amazed at how non-mushy the shrimp were and how crisp the vegetables were. Texture wise, this meal was two thumbs up (in microwave meal land of course, not in the real food world).
Taste wise, the sauce is like every other Healthy Choice meal - BLAND. By any other name, it would still taste bland. I swear, HC must have a giant vat of tasteless sauce and just dump it on every one of their meals. "Oh Beef Tips Portobello? I think you need a little kick in the beef butt by our special BLAND sauce! And how about you, my little Herb Baked Fish? Would you like to take a swim in our BLAND sauce lake? Oh, and who could forget the Chicken Carbonara! BLANDissimo!" Seriously, it is the only word I can think of that truly encompasses every one of their meals.
If you can get past the fact that you are eating tasteless food, this is not a bad option. I am full (which is a rare, rare thing after a 5 point meal) and I can totally splurge on a skinny cow for dessert tonight. Since everyone who is going to eat this meal knows from the get go that the sauce is bad, I am going to tilt the scales a bit and give it a 3, for trying.
Tanya at Iateapie.net gave this meal 4.5 kisses for nutrition [Read her review]
Smart Ones Swedish Meatballs
March 19, 2007 | Reviewer: Adina
Price: $2.00
Serving: 1 meal, 9.12 oz.
Calories: 270
Fat: 8%, 5g
Cholesterol: 10%, 30mg
Sodium: 30%, 730mg
Protein: 20g
Carbs: 12%, 35g
Fiber: 10%, 3g
WW Points: 5 Points
Smart Ones says: It’s comfort at its very best; flavorful meatballs tossed with waves of pasta and drenched in a rich sour cream sauce. So delicious, so satisfying, and another little way you can be good today.
Adina says: No matter how many times I eat this meal, I can never get it to cook all the way through on the first try. I always end up sticking it back in the microwave for at least another minute. And then the plastic starts to melt a little bit into the food, which is fine with me as long as it adds some kick to the otherwise bland sauce.
Which brings me to the sauce. I love how they describe it as a ‘rich sour cream sauce’. I don’t know what kind of sour cream sauce their grandma used to feed them, but the ones I have encountered usually make my arteries clog on sight. I mean that in a positive way. Smart Ones’ sauce is a watery excuse for gravy. Don’t get me wrong, I still make sure I get every drop of it into my belly, it’s just not that good.
I think the reason why I dislike most Smart Ones meals that feature meat is because I don’t like to chew on rubber. No matter how many microwave meals I eat, I will never get used to putting a meatball in my mouth and wondering, “Did I just accidentally eat a bouncy ball?” That is not natural or a comfortable office experience.
I think the saving grace of this meal is the noodles. They are not typical wide noodles but truly little waves of happiness and joy. They are thick and make the sauce almost taste like sauce. Maybe the starch thickens it or maybe they are magic noodles, I don’t know. All I know is that I don’t mind eating this meal so long as those thick ribbons of pasta are entering my body.
Overall, I like the Lean Cuisine Swedish Meatballs over the Smart Ones’. The Lean Cuisine noodles aren’t as thick, but you get six meatballs instead of five and I don’t think they can double as bouncy balls.
Smart Ones Lasagna Bolognese
March 5, 2007 | Reviewer: Adina
Price: $2.00
Serving: 1 meal, 9 oz.
Calories: 270
Fat: 6%, 4g
Cholesterol: 4%, 15mg
Sodium: 22%, 540mg
Protein: 14g
Carbs: 43%, 14g
Fiber: 13%, 3g
WW Points: 5 Points
Smart Ones says: Enjoy a delicious twist on traditional lasagna with tender, bite-sized lasagna noodles in a rich, meaty sauce that’s made even tastier by adding mozzarella and parmesan cheeses.
Adina says: This meal was not meaty. Okay, I admit that there are Cheerios-sized meat pieces in the sauce. But if you don’t really focus all your attention on the act of chewing, you risk not even getting to taste the meat, which is quite flavorful. The nearly invisible meat sort of looked like mini meatballs, which made me think of Wayne Szalinski from Honey I Shrunk the Kids and I fantasized about how he would accidentally shrink me with his shrinking machine and then the mini meatballs would be giant meatballs and I would be very happy.
As I am finding with most Smart One meals, the noodles are pretty good. I think the best thing about them is that they are thick, giving off the allusion that you are eating a lot food when in fact you are just chewing a lot.
The sauce was not that good - it was watery and tasteless. Also, don’t advertise cheese in your meal if nobody can find or taste the cheese. Throw me a bone and sprinkle some flash frozen parm on top! I don’t care if it melts away after 30 seconds in the microwave, so long as I know it is there, in my heart.
A note about Smart Ones: they love the 2.5 minute, stir, 1 minute heating instructions. They love it so much that I think they write it on all their meals regardless of how long the meal really should be cooked. I ended up cooking it for 2.5 minutes and then stirring huge chunks of icy tomato sauce, and then cooked it for another 2 minutes. I would suggest cooking it initially for 3 minutes, stirring, and then cooking it for another minute and a half. Unless you love icy tomato sauce, then ignore this paragraph. Also, you might want to apply for a job as Cooking Instructions Writer for Smart Ones.
Lean Cuisine Salisbury Steak with Macaroni and Cheese
February 22, 2007 | Reviewer: Adina
Price: $2.50
Serving: 1 meal, 9.5 oz.
Calories: 280
Fat: 13%, 9g
Cholesterol: 17%, 50mg
Sodium: 25%, 610mg
Protein: 24g
Carbs: 8%, 25g
Fiber: 12%, 3g
WW Points: 6 Points
Lean Cuisine says: Seasoned roasted beef accented with onion in a homestyle beef gravy with sliced mushrooms. Accompanied by our traditional macaroni and cheese, made with specially aged cheddar cheese.
Adina says: They say to cook this meal for over 6 minutes with no stirring, but I would suggest flipping the meat over at 3 minutes. This will prevent you from spending your precious lunch hour chewing on gravy-covered rubber.
I remember reading Nicole’s review of the Dinnertime Selects Salisbury Steak and thinking, “But I like hamburger meat.” I don’t know how Salisburians eat their steak, but I, as a lazy American, like my Salisbury steak tasting like burger and covered in gravy. And so isn’t it convenient that I found this meal! And while the gravy would not elicit high praise from the grave of my Jewish grandmother, I honestly think the taste is not half bad.
But what I love best about this meal is the macaroni and cheese. It is creamy and the pasta melts in your mouth. Maybe it melts in your mouth because it is overcooked, but who cares because it is covered in cheese. The cheddar taste (yes you can really taste the cheddar!) complements the milder gravy taste, and I think that is why this meal is so good. At least, it does not force me to the nearest vending machine, searching desperately for something to fill the microwave meal void.
Overall, I would rate this meal four stars - a great lunch that satisfies your appetite and does not require my grandma to wake from her eternal slumber to add a pinch of salt and spoonful of chicken fat.
