Adina

Hi my name is Adina and I review microwave meals. I come from a Jewish family; when my mother found out I occasionally eat food that is flash frozen for freshness, she made five pounds of brisket and FedExed it to my apartment.

I lean towards Lean Cuisine and Trader Joe's because they are familiar and I am nothing if not a slave to my routine. Occasionally I'll buy Healthy Choice, but only when they are on sale and I have a strong craving for very bland tasting food. When I look at the 9 or so ounces of food I eat for lunch, I often wonder if fitting in my jeans is overrated. Lately I've been leaning towards "totally overrated" but I continue to eat them because they are closer to my mouth than the food they keep in restaurants.

I live in Philadelphia and oversee biomedical research. What qualifies me to tell genius scientists that their research sucks eludes me, but they continue to pay me so I continue to dish out the heartbreak. During lunchtime, I sometimes feel a little self-conscious about taking pictures of microwaved food, but I just remind myself that I do it to warn the internet about food that tastes even crappier than you would think. I do it for YOU, remember that when I ask you to give me your liver because mine is just so damn tired.

I have a personal blog at CraziAsian.blogspot.com where I talk about my true passions in life: noodles and farting. I am married to a wonderfully private man named Mr. Anonymous. Our wedding was this past September and my veil was actually a large paper bag that I wore over my head lest someone recognized me from my blog. It was a precaution I was willing to take for love.

Happy Eating!

Latest Reviews by Adina:

Oscar Mayers Deli Creations Sun-Dried Tomato Chicken

May 15, 2008 | Reviewer: Adina

Oscar Mayers Deli Creations Sun-Dried Tomato Chicken Price: $4.19
Serving: 1 meal, 4.9 oz.
Calories: 330
Fat: 20%, 13g
Cholesterol: 18%, 55mg
Sodium: 30%, 720mg
Protein: 23g
Carbs: 10%, 31g
Fiber: 4%, 1g
WW Points: 7 Points

conditional*

Oscar Mayer says: Experience a sandwich that has all the warmth, flavor and fresh baked taste you look forward to, without having to go out. In no time at all, you can create a lunch for one, served with soft warm flatbread, premium cuts of meat, specialty sauces and natural cheeses, all individually wrapped for freshness. It is the hot and melty moment you deserve.

Ingredients listed on front of package: Flatbread; grilled chicken breast strips with ribbed meat – cured; shredded Italian-style three cheese blend of 2% milk reduced fat natural mozzarella cheese, 2% milk reduced fat provolone cheese, Parmesan Cheese; sun-dried tomato sauce.

Adina says: In a move towards full disclosure, I’d like to state that I received this meal free from Oscar Mayer. It is a good thing too, because there is a zero percent chance I would buy this on my own. The reason is three fold: (1) because it is essentially a sandwich in a box, which I do not consider a big whoop de doo; (2) because there are no noodles in said sandwich; and (3) because it is Oscar Mayer and unless this sandwich features a giant hot dog that sings that wiener song on command, I am just not that interested.

I have to say, this review is causing me a lot of grief. On one hand, I really enjoyed this sandwich. The chicken was very tender, which I think is directly related to the fact that this meal is refrigerated and not frozen. It tasted like I had lightly grilled a chicken breast and then cut it up and put it in a sandwich. This makes me chuckle because I would never lightly grill anything. Deep fry? yes. Bake in a pound of butter? Uh yes. But lightly grill? That is just not a phrase I have ever heard myself say out loud. Without shaking my head and laughing.

The flatbread was chewy and warm and better than most bread I have encountered on sandwiches. It might have been my favorite part of the meal. No way, I take that back. The cheese was my favorite part. Apart from the fact that it is cheese (and who doesn’t worship cheese in a slightly idolatrous way?), it just had this really natural, smooth feel to it. It was subtle, the kind of cheese that you notice from across the room – drinking a martini with olives, wearing a sleek black dress, looking effortlessly lovely and approachable, but in an unapproachable way. I want to date this cheese. I want to take this cheese home to my mother, marry this cheese, make this cheese the happiest cheese in the world.

The least desirable part of the actual meal was the dressing. It tasted like what I would imagine salad dressing to taste like if you decided to microwave salad dressing. Salad dressing tends to be over the top taste wise, as if Paul Newman knows that the only thing separating your salad from a field of grass is his magic sauce. And this sauce felt that way, as if it was acknowledging the fact that you were about to eat a fairly plain meal that can only be saved by being punched in the face with a fistful of sun-dried tomatoes. If you decide to eat this meal, you might to consider just putting a tad of the sauce on the sandwich and then toss the rest of the sauce with some lettuce. Or else use it to buff the exterior of your car.

Overall, this meal was definitely 4 stars taste-wise. One of the things keeping me from giving it 4 stars is what this meal weighs in at: 4.9 ounces and 330 calories. Most of the microwave meals I eat range from 8 ounces to 11 ounces. So, this makes this meal possibly the smallest lunch I have ever eaten for Heat Eat Review. And it packs quite a bit of caloric intake considering how small it is. I imagine I could have eaten a candy bar that had similar stats but was, you know, chocolate.

The other thing is that it is $4.19 on non-sale. That means you are almost paying a dollar an ounce. It seems reasonable to ask for that or even more when you are selling smack or baby food, but not when you’re selling some chicken and cheese and hot salad dressing.

*So I am giving this a conditional rating: 3 stars if you buy it full price and it is the only thing you eat for lunch, and 4 stars if you buy it on sale and pair it with a salad that you brought from home. And then you get 4 stars too for eating salad, more power to you.

Filed Under 7 WW Points, Chicken, Four Stars, Oscar Mayer Reviews, Three Stars | 1 Comment

Healthy Choice Café Steamers Grilled White Meat Chicken and Roasted Red Pepper Alfredo Sauce

April 15, 2008 | Reviewer: Adina

Healthy Choice Café Steamers Grilled White Meat Chicken and Roasted Red Pepper Alfredo Sauce Price: $2.00
Serving: 1 meal, 10.3oz.
Calories: 260
Fat: 9%, 6g
Cholesterol: 12%, 35mg
Sodium: 25%, 600mg
Protein: 22g
Carbs: 9%, 27g
Fiber: 16%, 4g
WW Points: 5 Points

Healthy Choice says: Savory white meat chicken is covered with a tangy roasted red pepper alfredo sauce and served over tender linguini pasta with a side of fresh broccoli florets.

Adina says: Disclaimer: I might have eaten my body weight in sugar this morning, so there is a very good chance this review will be highly delirious and/or incoherent. I’m sorry.

I would like to start off this review by just shouting the word chicken over and over again, partially to release some of this excess sugar energy and partially because I think the best way to celebrate good food is by shouting. CHICKEN CHICKEN CHICKEN YUM YUM YUM. I have a pretty loyal dislike for white chicken and also for pepper. White chicken because it is always dry and chewy, and pepper because it is just so . . . peppery. This chicken was peppery but in a really good way – all zingy and zesty and party-ish in my mouth. Like pop rocks, but with less pop and more rock. Plus, it was so tender and non-chewy and just melt in your mouth-y.¹

The broccoli florets were crispy and quickly consumed, which should be counted as a huge moral victory for any food maker since I liken vegetables to cute little green bundles of death.

For those not already in the Adina know, I only buy microwave meals that feature noodles. This is because I try to have at least one type of noodle product during both lunch and dinner. It’s true – on any given day, I will eat cottage cheese and noodles for dinner, with a side of ramen and kraft macaroni and cheese (with a hot dog mixed in, if I am having protein cravings).

Sadly, I found the noodle part of this meal the most disappointing. Not so much because they were not good (it is fairly hard to mess up microwave meal noodles unless you are Chef Boyardee) but because the sauce was so…Healthy Choice-y. It is an art form, really, how Healthy Choice continues to make bland sauce. They must get loads of letters that read: “YER SAUCE SUX” and “your mama has more flavor than your sauce” or equally profound notes, and yet they continue to mass produce horribly bland sauce. Why is that? Are they trying to kill us à la pure food boredom? I had so much hope for this sauce, after my pleasant encounter with the Chicken Tuscany Café Steamer, but was sadly let down.

So I am giving this meal a 4 overall, although I would rate the chicken a 700. CHICKEN CHICKEN CHICKEN. Sigh so good.

¹ I am trying to end as many words in this review with “y”. I have no idea why but at least I have a realistic goal, versus my unattainable goal of taking a multivitamin with breakfast every morning. Ha!

Filed Under 5 WW Points, Chicken, Four Stars, Healthy Choice Reviews | 4 Comments

Eating Right Chicken with Basil Cream Sauce

March 4, 2008 | Reviewer: Adina

Eating Right Chicken with Basil Cream Sauce Price: $2.50
Serving: 1 meal, 8.5 oz.
Calories: 280
Fat: 11%, 7g
Cholesterol: 12%, 35mg
Sodium: 20%, 480mg
Protein: 19g
Carbs: 11%, 34g
Fiber: 9%, 2g
WW Points: 6 Points

Eating Right says: White meat chicken and spaghetti in a rich basil cream sauce.

Adina says: This meal had a lot of things working against it. For one, it had been sitting in my work freezer for over 6 months. When I opened it up, there was quite a bit of frost covering the food. Two, I ate a very similar dish from Healthy Choice’s Café Steamers line (Chicken Tuscany, which I also reviewed) and that dish made me seriously consider leaving my husband so I could make babies with a microwave meal. Weird, but true.

However, I was pleasantly surprised by the taste and nutritional facts of this meal. The chicken was tender, surprisingly tenderer than the Café Steamer chicken. It had a nice texture and was seasoned well. The basil was a subtle yet present accent to the cream sauce. I love basil in cream sauce, I think it pulls out flavors that you wouldn’t normally experience in a cream sauce. The noodles were slightly mushy, but I blame the layer of frost for this shortcoming. The peppers didn’t punch a lot of crunch or flavor, but they also didn’t suck. So better than most microwave meal veggies, if you ask me.

The only shortcoming is that this is a fairly small meal, weighing in at only 8.5 oz, where the Chicken Tuscany weighed in at 10.6 oz. You’re definitely going to have to supplement this meal with a warm piece of whole wheat bread or a giant candy bar (whichever one is closer), but is that such a bad thing? Candy bars go with everything.

Overall, it wasn’t a completely mind altering experience, but it was definitely much better than other frozen entrees I have sampled. The nice thing about this meal was that it had more impressive nutritional facts than most. Low fat, low carbs, and definitely lower sodium compared to other microwave meals. Plus, it accounts for 38% of your daily protein, which is a huge selling point for me, considering most of my protein consumption comes from looking at cows when I drive through the country and from greasy medium-rare cheeseburgers from Good Dog Bar (best burger in Philadelphia, possibly the world).

I am pretty sure these sell for $2.50 at Genuardi’s and Safeway, which is cheaper than most microwave meals off-sale, so that is also a plus. In conclusion, this was not a bad meal. It didn’t hurt me to eat this food. I even enjoyed the time I spent eating it, all two seconds of it. Yes, I might be eating a super pretzel later, but what else is new? I could eat a 7 pound burger and still eat a super pretzel for dessert, that is how much I like super pretzels. So I give this meal 4 stars, although it is more of a 3.5 star meal. I am rounding up so that one day God will take pity on me and send me a pasta microwave meal that is 100 oz and zero fat and zero carbs. I am waiting for that day, God.

Filed Under 6 WW Points, Chicken, Eating Right Reviews, Four Stars, Pasta | 10 Comments

Healthy Choice Café Steamers Chicken Tuscany

February 5, 2008 | Reviewer: Adina

Healthy Choice Café Steamers Chicken Tuscany Price: $2.99
Serving: 1 meal, 10.6 oz.
Calories: 300
Fat: 12%, 8g
Cholesterol: 8%, 25mg
Sodium: 23%, 560mg
Protein: 21g
Carbs: 11%, 34g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
WW Points: 6 Points

Healthy Choice says: We broil lean chicken tenderloin chunks, combine them with a colorful medley of zucchini, spinach and sun dried tomatoes and serve over linguini pasta tossed in a flavorful Parmesan sauce.

Adina says: I am not someone who likes my food steamed. I like it breaded, deep fried, saturated in fat, glazed, covered in gravy, chocolate sauce, bits of bacon, etc. I accept that some food must be boiled (noodles) in order to be married to less healthy mediums (alfredo sauce) to create one, harmonious meal. Rarely will you find me saying “Ohh, let’s steam dinner tonight” or “I’ll take the healthy steamed option please, with a side of broccoli.” And when I say rarely, I mean you can just go ahead and shoot me when that day comes because my life will so be over.

But (and this is possibly the hugest “but” since Baby Got Back hit record stores in 1992), this meal was sort of definitely a delightful dining experience. Dare I say that Healthy Choice finally did something right? God, that feels so wrong to say and yet . . . my mouth doesn’t lie. This meal, it was unbelievably tasty.

The zucchini was perfectly steamed. It tasted much like how I would imagine zucchini would taste if I ever steamed it and then ate it. It was tender on the inside and faintly crisp on the outside. It looked so green and fresh that I actually ate it first. Before the noodles. I KNOW. To me, eating vegetables before noodles is sort of akin to choosing a Brazilian bikini wax over napping. It is just plum crazy. And yet, it was my reality this afternoon as I pushed the noodles to the side to find that last bite of zucchini yumminess.

Not to say the noodles weren’t good. Oh they were good. Especially considering that the sauce was FedExed from HEAVEN. Seriously, the taste is so zesty and unexpected.

It was flavorful and bitey and the picture on the container actually doesn’t do the spices justice. Has that ever happened before? Where the food was actually BETTER than how it looked in the picture? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HEALTHY CHOICE?

The chicken was a little dry, but it tasted like dry REAL chicken. As far as white meat goes, this was probably better than any piece of white meat I can cook. I truly believe white meat has like a 2 second window of tenderness and then BAM it’s dry. Anyway, it didn’t matter if it was a tad dry because it just complimented the texture of the melt-in-your-mouth veggies.

So yes, I am giving this Healthy Choice meal 5 full stars. I back this meal with my life. Steaming your food separate from the sauce is brilliant. The steaming locks in the individual flavors, and the sauce accentuates rather than overpowers the meal. Congratulations, Healthy Choice. You have moved from “sucks so bad” to “edible and sort of delightful”. Be proud, be very proud.

Filed Under 6 WW Points, Chicken, Five Stars, Healthy Choice Reviews, Pasta | 12 Comments