Abi Jones, Editrix

Hi, my name is Abi Jones and I created HeatEatReview.com to showcase the best and worst in microwavable meals. I’ve been called the “Robert Parker of Hot Pockets” and HeatEatReview.com has been featured in Real Simple magazine and on FoodCandy.com.

I wasn’t born an expert frozen meal critic. First, I earned a rather handy degree in Art History from Seattle University. While in Seattle, I led gallery programs at the Frye Art Museum and drank a lot of coffee.

My original aim of becoming ridiculously rich and famous upon graduation was supplanted by the Jesuit call to social justice. In the Spring of 2002 I joined Teach For America, for a two-year hands-on experience in improving education in a single classroom in one of America’s most impoverished communities. It was an empowering and humbling time in my life. If you’re thinking about applying for or giving money to Teach For America, I’d be more than happy to have a conversation with you about my time in Texas. Summary: I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Now I’m an Information Architect and User Experience Designer in Palo Alto, California. I love being a professional designer and I express that love in websites, administrative systems, process workflows, and eCommerce paths. Who else gets to have their ideas turned into products, and then refine those products to help other people achieve their dreams? Not too many people.

If you’d like to contact me for an interview, feature HeatEatEatReview.com on your food show, or ask me to be a guest on your History channel retrospective on frozen food, just use the contact form or send an email to abi-at-heateatreviewdotcom. If you’d like to see your product featured on HeatEatReview.com, please check out the review policy.

Latest Reviews by Abi:

Birds Eye Steamfresh Sweet Peas

May 16, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Birds Eye Steamfresh Sweet Peas Price: $4.19
Serving: 1 pouch, 3.25oz.
Calories: 70
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 0mg
Protein: 5g
Carbohydrates: 4%, 13g
Fiber: 16%, 4g
Sugar: 4g
Weight Watchers Points: 1 Point

Birds Eye says: The bags inside this package are special. Simply place one in your microwave and watch it inflate as it perfectly steams your vegetables right in the bag! Your vegetables retain their natural goodness, crisp texture and fresh taste. Steaming with Birds Eye has never been easier.

Abi says: I bought these peas because I thought it’d be good to branch out from Green Giant’s vegetable monopoly on Heat Eat Review. Also, I was curious as to whether these peas would be better than the 99¢ bags of peas that I usually use. Would I really notice that steaming was better than boiling or microwaving in a bit of water?

Uh, no. These peas are no better than the cheap ones from the bag. They taste just like every other frozen pea product I’ve ever had in my life. Really, this product is just the 100-Calorie Portion version of vegetables. Except that plain vegetables are low calorie in the first place. Have you ever heard of anyone getting fat off of plain sweet peas? Probably not.

Sure, these peas were fine, but they weren’t worth four times the price of regular peas. Also, they didn’t do anything to speed up my couscous-making process. Usually I throw in the peas just before the water boils, giving them time to heat and steam along with the couscous, a process faster than heating the peas separately in the microwave.

“But Abi,” you’re saying “won’t these peas be great for me as a person who work in an office? I can just steam a few at a time!” and to that I say “Get yourself one of those Green Giant vegetable packages. They contain two servings and involve vegetables that you can actually stab with a fork.”

Filed Under 1 WW Point, Birds Eye Reviews, Certified Kosher, Cholesterol Free, Dairy Free, Gluten Free, HFCS Free, Lactose Free, Three Stars, Trans Fat Free, Vegan, Vegetarian | 1 Comment

Deep Foods Paneer Makhani

May 14, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Deep Paneer Makhani Price: $3.99
Serving: 1/2 package, 5oz.
Calories: 200
Fat: 27%, 17g
Cholesterol: 14%, 45mg
Sodium: 22%, 540mg
Protein: 5g
Carbohydrates: 2%, 6g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 5 Points

Deep Foods says: Paneer prepared in the tandoori style and simmered in an authentic and richly-spiced sauce

Abi says: I’ve never been to India, so I don’t know how authentic from-India food tastes. Sure, I’ve eaten at a lot of Indian restaurants, but I have no idea whether I’m eating real food or the Indian version of Taco Bell.

But I don’t take authenticity too seriously when something is so freaking delicious. This paneer makhani contains only pronounceable ingredients* and is bursting with the rich and subtle flavors that highlight my favorite Indian foods. My mouth is watering just thinking about how much I enjoy this dish now that I’ve taken it out of the running for lunch and made it a part of a simple, delicious dinner.

In the photo you can see a rotisserie chicken, couscous and the paneer. It isn’t a well balanced meal because it is completely lacking vegetables, but I’m not too worried about that because it took all of five minutes to put together this meal.

Yes, five minutes. Thank you Whole Foods chicken.

Each dish of Paneer Makhani contains 2-3 servings, making it a simple way to round out a meal in need of spice. If you’re worried about the extreme amount of fat in each serving, you can definitely use this as a sauce instead of a side and split it four ways. The tomato-based (or should I say cream-based?) sauce is mellowly spicy, making it flavorful without being overwhelming. The sauce and cheese combination is extraordinarily rich, so you’ll want to steer toward plain accompaniments. There are about 12 cubes of cheese per package and while that seems like very little to be sharing with others. Everything in the tray is so delicious that I wish Deep Foods just sold this sauce in little foil pouches I could pull out of the cupboard at any time.

*Ingredients: Tomatoes, Water Onions, Cream, Paneer (milk, part skim milk, vinegar, salt), Canola Oil, Cashews, Spices, Milled Cane Sugar, Sea Salt, Garlic, Butter, Oleoresin of Paprika, Turmeric, Fenugreek Leaves

Filed Under 5 WW Points, Deep Foods Reviews, Five Stars, HFCS Free, Vegetarian | 6 Comments

Trader Joe’s Lemon Tartes

May 12, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Trader Joe’s Lemon Tartes Price: $3.99
Serving: 1 tart, 3.3oz.
Calories: 300
Fat: 20%, 13g
Cholesterol: 38%, 115mg
Sodium: 3%, 70mg
Protein: 4g
Carbs: 13%, 40g
Fiber: 2%, <1g
Sugar: 30g
Weight Watchers Points: 7 Points each

Trader Joe says: Refreshingly tart lemon filling in a flaky buttery crust. Simply defrost and serve Trader Joe’s Lemon Tartes, or decorate with berries and whipped cream. These tartes are the ideal pastry to serve at the end of any meal, whether rustic or elegant. If you love the idea of afternoon “high tea,” these treats would be the perfect sweet for that occasion, as well.

Abi says: In the last several months Trader Joe’s has added several fantastic items to the frozen dessert section, including the chocolate croissants and the gluten-free peanut butter cookies. The duds have thus far been limited to the no-prep brownies.

Unfortunately, these Lemon Tartes are joining the Pre-Made Brownies in the hall of Trader Joe’s bad dessert infamy. I look forward to dessert, so I defrosted these tartes in the refrigerator for 6 hours (the package recommends at least 4 hours of defrosting) and shortly after dinner plated them with no accoutrements. Yes, the photo on the box shows a dollop of whipped cream, but a bit of sweet dairy wasn’t going to counteract the ‘meh’ of these desserts.

These lemon tartes feature tart lemon filing, bursting with bright yellow flavor, but each bite is also accompanied by bland, dense pastry. After a few forkfuls of POW-ZAP followed by ‘ugh’ of pastry. I tried to eat a bit of the lemon filling on its own. At that point I realized that lemon filling by itself is not a delicious dessert, but a component within a delicious dessert. Lemon filling by itself is sort of like torture by citric acid, and this is an opinion coming from a girl who enjoys sour Skittles.

After this experience I’m not sure I’ll be trying any of Trader Joe’s pre-made no-bake pastries. The chocolate croissants and chocolate chip cookies are just way, way too good to go fooling around with these tarts.

Abi: These would be better if they were made of chocolate.
George: Everything would be better if it were made of chocolate.

Filed Under 7 WW Points, Trader Joe's Reviews, Two Stars | Leave a Comment

Green Giant Healthy Vision Vegetables

May 7, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Green Giant Healthy Vision Vegetables Price: $2.00 on sale
Serving: 1/2 cup, 3.5oz.
Servings per Package: 2
Calories: 45
Fat: 3%, 2g
Cholesterol: 2%, 5mg
Sodium: 9%, 220mg
Protein: 1g
Carbohydrates: 2%, 2g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 3g
Weight Watchers Points: 1 Point

Green Giant says: Sliced carrots, zucchini quarters and sliced green beans lightly tossed with rosemary butter sauce

Abi says: I’m in Las Vegas right now for the Food Marketing Institute’s annual convention. So far I have attended seminars on food trends and sampled a lot of truly odd items, including an energy drink that contains collagen.

During one session about the latest and greatest items in the processed food world, the speaker highlighted functional foods (also known as Nutraceuticals, which I often confuse with [don’t click on this link ->] Neuticles). She showed images of this item, the Green Giant Healthy Weight Vegetables and the Green Giant Immunity Boost. The last of which I haven’t purchased because peppers will inevitably turn mushy and I don’t feel like heating up a steam bag full of disappointment.

Basically, she talked about how companies are simply combining things that are already good for you and making catchy names. It is slightly different than products like Vitamin Water, which isolate supposedly healthy items and mix them with coloring and sugar.

In this case, Green Giant provides the consumer with thickly sliced carrot coins, still-crisp green beans and mushy, off-putting zucchini, all drenched in a buttery rosemary sauce. A rosemary sauce that features the equivalent of a single leaf of rosemary.

Once again, this is not really enough vegetables for two people, especially when you realize that the zucchini, which makes up a significant portion of the meal, is pretty unfantastic. I’d approximate entire package as having the volume of approximately 1.75 keyboard mice. Mouses. Computer-based pointing devices. The mouse was invented just a few miles from where I live. I am slightly obsessed with it, though I use them rarely.

I am not obsessed with the butter-like sauce, which features a distinctly unnatural viscosity. It turns out that enzyme modified butter is butter that’s been melted, had water added to it and then been treated with an enzyme to release the chemical chains that are holding back the intense butter flavor we all love. The enzyme they use? Streptococcus lactis.

I took a crash course in flavor chemistry because it tastes fake and takes away from the vegetables rather than adding to them. While I enjoy a bit of seasoning, I don’t need my greens greased.

Also, I still have to wear glasses. Way to go, Green Giant.

Filed Under 1 WW Point, Green Giant Reviews, Three Stars, Vegetarian | 3 Comments