Wolfgang Puck All Natural Spicy Chicken Pizza

October 15, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Photo of Wolfgang Puck All Natural Spicy Chicken Pizza Price: $5.00 on sale
Serving: 1/3 pizza, 4.43oz
Calories per serving: 320
Fat: 20%, 13g
Cholesterol: 12%, 35mg
Sodium: 24%, 570mg
Protein: 17g
Carbohydrates: 11%, 34g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 6g
Weight Watchers Points: 7 Points

Wolfgang Puck says: A chewy, honey-infused crust topped with mozzarella, seasoned chicken and roasted red and yellow peppers

Abi says: This month my book club read Gael Greene’s memoir Insatiable: Tales from a Life of Delicious Excess. If you want to know about the life of a promiscuous, effervescent, needy, gourmand of a New York restaurant reviewer in the time before HIV/AIDS and the insane increase in herpes, read it. If you’d like to get a sense of the New York’s restaurant scene during the 80’s, read American Psycho.

That is not a joke. During the 80’s portion of the book, Gael’s restaurant notes become laundry lists. We know Wolfgang Puck exists, but there’s not much in the way of description. He could be porn star for all we know.

Except Wolfgang Puck is not a porn star; he’s one of the earliest celebrity chefs. A pre-Etruscan Emeril, if you will. WP strikes me as an Austrian food elf; happily whittling away in his North Pole (or LA) workshop, creating fanciful dishes that I couldn’t afford. Sure, I too was drawn in by the promise in a $15.00 ‘gourmet’ (read:miniature) pizza. But after a late-90’s lunch at the Spago-lite in Seattle, I figured that it wasn’t worth paying the WP-name premium unless I was actually eating at Chinois or an actual Spago.

This frozen pizza produced by Schwan’s reinforces that early collegiate food judgement: Wolfgang Puck’s name is worth zero. I know you’re thinking ‘Really Abi? It took you four pizzas to figure that out?’, but I’m a sucker for aesthetically pleasing frozen food boxes. And pizza. I love pizza. I ate pizza for diiner last night and I just ate a ridiculous microwaved breakfast sandwich and right now I’m thinking ‘Boy would I like some pizza.’ But not this pizza.

This pizza reminded me that plain chicken is undelicious and that chicken-topped pizzas need strong seasoning to counter the boring that is white meat. Does anybody really like white meat chicken or do we just like all of the things that come on white meat chicken? Things like barbecue sauce and cheese and bacon bits. Yes, I understand that I just described Chili’s Monterey Chicken minus the tomatoes. The roasted red and yellow peppers on this pizza come in sizable chunks and taste real, but even a whole lot of peppers can’t make up for the plain okay mozzarella and the boring, non-spicy chicken. And that honey-infused crust? Well, it was fluffier than those cracker-like Safeway pizza crusts. Look, I’m trying to say something nice about this pizza, but it is really tough! Wolfgang Puck’s “Spicy” Chicken Pizza (yes, those are air quotes) isn’t horrible but I’ll never buy this again.

comments

2 Responses to “Wolfgang Puck All Natural Spicy Chicken Pizza”

Joe Lencioni on October 21st, 2008

The Wolfgang Puck pizzas always look delicious but cost too much for what you get so I have never tried one. Thanks for the reviews–I’ll save my money for better pizzas.
Christine on October 21st, 2008

After being tempted to buy these pizza’s and seeing negative reviews, I agree, I will take a pass.

Leave a Reply