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Arsenic is edible. Only once.

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Trader Joe’s Roasted Potatoes

August 18, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $2.99
Serving: 3/4 cup, 3oz.
Servings per package: 8
Calories: 90 per serving
Fat: 2%, 1.5g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 18%, 440mg
Protein: 2g
Carbohydrates: 5%, 16g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 2 Points

Trader Joe says: Trader Joe’s Roasted Potatoes with Roasted Peppers and Onions will be a savory addition to any meal. Our potatoes can be served as a side for many dishes, like filet mignon, herbed chicken breasts or a polska kielbasa. They offer the sightly sweet flavor of a roasted pepper and onion medley blended with the mellow taste of red potatoes. They’re wonderful served with salsa, or with some sharp cheddar cheese melted over the top. For breakfast, lunch or dinner simply bake or skillet fry this wonderful potato medley for a quick and easy compliment to your favorite entree.

Abi says: When it comes to breakfast potatoes, I stick with Simply Potato items. They contain potatoes and some sort of powder that keeps the potatoes from turning brown. And that’s it. However, Simply Potatoes are a) not cheap and b) not for the freezer, meaning that they will go bad after a certain time period. I am not the kind of girl who knows if she’s going to be making hash browns in the next four days, which is why I opted for Trader Joe’s Roasted Potatoes this time around.

In conception these seem brilliant: roasted red potatoes, onions and red bell peppers combine to create a breakfast potato medley that requires neither salt nor ketchup. Nor the assistance of that Lipton’s Onion Powder Stuff (I am addicted to it - so amazingly delicious - and bad).

The cooking process is simple: heat a bit of oil in a skillet (you could even use Pam), dump in potatoes, heat for 10 minutes, dump in onion/red pepper pouch, heat for 8 minutes, serve. Unfortunately, the potatoes leave something to be desired. Each little roasted starch cube is akin to a packing peanut: styrofoamy. Red potatoes don’t freeze well and it shows in the reheating process. I know, red potatoes are just lovely and easy to prepare (try this recipe, but with fresh herbs instead of dried - easy and mouth-watering), but they aren’t hardy the way Russets are. Additionally, the supposed 8 servings in the bag are actually 4 servings. I don’t know when Trader Joe’s made the 3/4 of a cup measurement, but it is not accurate when it comes to these potatoes. If you’re planning on serving eight people, buy two bags of potatoes.

Yes, the peppers and onions make these potatoes a decent breakfast item, but my overall feeling was ‘Meh.’ There’s nothing offensive about them, but nothing great either. Looks like I’ll be sticking with Simply Potatoes for the foreseeable future.

Oscar Mayer Deli Creations Flatbread Chicken and Bacon Ranch

August 14, 2008 | Reviewer: Andrew

Price: Provided by Oscar Mayer
Serving: 1 sandwich, 4.9oz.
Calories: 320 per serving
Fat: 20%, 13g
Cholesterol: 18%, 55mg
Sodium: 25%, 590mg
Protein: 22g
Carbohydrates: 10%, 30g
Fiber: 3%, 1g
Sugar: 3g
Weight Watchers Points: 7 Points

Oscar Mayer says: Experience a sandwich that has all the warmth, flavor and fresh baked taste you look forward to, without having to go out. In no time at all, you can create a lunch for one, served with soft warm flatbread, premium cuts of meat, specialty sauces and natural cheeses, all individually wrapped for freshness.

Andrew says: Ordinarily I’d be all for some combination of chicken, ranch dressing and bacon, but this flatbread sandwich falls short of my lofty, pork-driven expectations.

The problem with the execution here is tang. As in too much of it. This is the most tangy ranch sauce of all time and I don’t know what they were trying to accomplish with it. I’m looking at the ingredients list and puzzling over what it is in the sauce that makes it so sour-tart, but I can’t figure it out. All I know is it’s overbearing. It pins the moist, tender chicken pieces to the mat and extinguishes its flavor with its flavor chokehold.

And the shredded reduced fat sharp cheddar cheese doesn’t help much, adding its sharp, cheesy tang to the already incredible tang of the sauce. Frankly it’s not a BAD flavor all together, but it’s not what ranch, bacon and chicken ought to taste like. I couldn’t taste anything but the ranch sauce, which means of course that I COULDN’T TASTE THE BACON.

So basically, the flatbread sandwich lured me in with the promise of bacony flavor with ranch sauce and chicken and dashed my hopes with its ranch tang freak show. For shame, Oscar Mayer. For shame.

Jones All Natural Golden Brown Maple Sausage Links

August 13, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $2.99
Serving: 3 links, 2oz.
Servings per package: ~3.5 (10 links)
Calories: 240 per serving
Fat: 34%, 22g
Cholesterol: 15%, 45mg
Sodium: 18%, 420mg
Protein: 7g
Carbohydrates: 1%, 2g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 1g
Weight Watchers Points: 7 Points

Jones Dairy Farm says: Jones Dairy Farm products offer you the old-fashioned quality and flavor you’d expect from a family farm. Made with natural ingredients and six generations of Jones family pride, our products are prepared fro you with the wholesome simplicity of recipes passed down through the generations.

No MSG Added - No Artificial Ingredients - No Preservatives - No Gluten Added

Abi says: Oh dear Lord in heaven, now I know why I never read the nutrition label on any sort of sausage. Well, except artisan chicken and/or turkey sausage which I already know is low in fat and high in virtuousness/animal parts.

The asterisk in the on Jones (no relation) Maple Sausage box means ‘No artificial ingredients and only minimally processed.’ The ingredients list is impressively simple:

• Pork
• Water
• Maple Sugar
• Sea Salt
• Spices
• Raw Sugar
• Maple Flavor (carmelized sugar syrup, flavorings, maple syrup, brown sugar)

I like knowing what’s in my sausage, though I’m definitely confused when one of the ingredients of a ‘Flavor’ is ‘flavorings’. How do they get away with that? And how happy are you to see that the term ‘mechanically-separated‘ isn’t included in that list?

Taste-wise, these little guys (each is the size of Pretty darn good for some pre-cooked brown-and-serve sausages and considerably juicier than Morningstar Farms Sausage Patties. There’s no casing, so they exhibit about as much snap as a meat-free corn dog. Fortunately, the my preferred cooking method involves microwaving them for 30 seconds first, then browning for a crisp exterior.

In restaurants, I like dipping regular sausages in syrup. At home, I ran out of affordable maple syrup (a fellow food writer from Montreal says that the only acceptable maple syrup comes in a can), so I opted for these sausages between visits to Trader Joe’s. Those of you who prefer savory sausages might be a little put off by the combo, but I suggest trying it before you knock it.

Smart Ones Chicken & Cheese Quesadilla

August 12, 2008 | Reviewer: Guest Reviewers

Price: $2.79
Servings Per Package: 2
Serving Size: 8.0 oz., 1 quesadilla
Calories: 220 per serving
Fat: 11%, 7g
Cholesterol: 20mg
Sodium: 26%, 620mg
Protein: 12g
Carbohydrates: 9%, 26g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
Sugar: <1g
Weight Watchers Points: 4

Smart Ones says: Chicken & cheese quesadilla with grilled white meat chicken, a three-cheese blend, peppers and onions folded into a crispy flour tortilla.

Kelly B. says: I consider cheese a food group. And though I don’t know the correct translation of “quesadilla” I know it has something to do with cheese. Lots and lots of cheese.* Typically, eating these at restaurants makes me feel sick/guilty/bloated but tadaa! Smart Ones has blessed us all with a low calorie, low fat quesadilla. It may even give the microwaveable 7-11 ‘Mexican’ fare a run for its money!

I am familiar with “crisping sleeve” technology as a frequent Lean Pocket user, so it seemed easy enough to place the quesadilla into the sleeve and then into the microwave. After no time (2 minutes) my quesadilla was ready! While it is not exactly easy to eat at the office (due to a lot of gooey chicken/cheese combo), it is delicious by fork & knife with a little bit of low fat sour cream. It may have been my microwave but parts of the tortilla were a little hard and too crispy for my liking, that’s what brought it down from 5 to 4 stars. The cheese melted nicely & the peppers and onions added a slight kick. The chicken wasn’t too bad too bad either! I definitely give Smart Ones quesadillas two thumbs up though as far as diet, microwaveable Mexican food goes!

*It translates roughly to “little cheesy thing”. - Ed.

Need further confirmation? Tanya over at Iateapie.net liked these, too. Read her review.