Oscar Mayer Deli Creations Turkey Monterey

April 7, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Oscar Mayer Deli Creations Turkey Monterey Price: $3.00 on sale
Serving: 1 creation, 7.1oz.
Calories: 450
Fat: 26%, 17g
Cholesterol: 18%, 55mg
Sodium: 45%, 1090mg
Protein: 25g
Carbs: 17%, 50g
Fiber: 16%, 4g
Sugar: 13g
Weight Watchers Points: 10 Points

Oscar Mayer says: Oscar Mayer shaved mesquite smoked turkey breast, Kraft monterey jack cheese with jalapeno peppers, Kraft southwestern style ranch dressing, Kraft garden salsa on a country white sub roll.

Abi says: When I saw these on sale at my local Safeway I turned to the guy next to me, who happened to be a stranger, and said ‘Oh man, these things are awful.’ And then I bought two, because my mission is to confuse people at the grocery store.

So, what does cheap (but in reality, really freaking expensive for some bread and meat) get you? It starts with a super-soft roll. If you are at all familiar with Wonder Bread, you know what you’re getting here. Next, you get to top the bread yourself, getting meat juice and dressing and such all over your hands.

I have to admit that I was pleased with the amount of turkey included in this sandwich. It most closely resembled a packed of the Louis Buddig ultra-thin turkey. I love that stuff. For those of you not familiar with Louis Buddig or Land-o-Frost products, just imagine meat paper.

There was enough meat that I was able too eat a few of the slices while assembling the sandwich and still have enough to make a presentable hoagie. Next I topped it with the perfectly shaped sliced of jalapeno jack. Before topping the cheese and meat layers with the other half of the bun I did two things:

Decided that Kraft garden salsa resembles nothing more than tomato sauce and tossed it (sorry to those of you who wanted to know how it tastes).
Spread Southwestern style ranch on the bread and then realized that warm ranch dressing sounds like pretty much the grossest thing ever.

Unable to reverse my Ranch Dressing Decision, I put the sandwich in the microwave, heated if for a minute (melty cheese!) and dug in.

First impression: Goo.

When you heat ultra-processed lunchmeat, white bread, cheese and flavored ranch it all turns into a mass of gunk. Without any lettuce, sprouts, tomato, cucumbers or onion, this sandwich featured nothing crisp, nothing that indicated ‘Hey, you’re not just eating hot meat. This is a meal!’ Ugh. Separately I enjoyed the building blocks for this sandwich, but once they were put together and microwaved I found myself eating the sandwich as fast as possible just so that I wouldn’t have to deal with having it in my mouth anymore (I was hungry and running late to catch a train).

I sincerely enjoy eating hot turkey sandwiches made from freshly carved meat. I do not enjoy heated up sliced lunch meat. I also do not like paying to put together a sandwich. Sadly, there’s still another one of these in the fridge. I’m going to eat it cold or make it for George and pretend that I picked it up from the Safeway deli counter and see what he thinks.

comments

9 Responses to “Oscar Mayer Deli Creations Turkey Monterey”

Crow on April 7th, 2008

Looks remarkably like the weird sandwiches on a roll that the airlines used to sell you. When they offered food still…

Kraft must have stringent labeling requirements.
rob on April 7th, 2008

I love that ultra thin sliced meat, I used to live off it in college. Only way I could afford to buy some meat for less than a buck. Used to get 70 cent little bags of roast beef sliced so thin that its existence was only a rumor.
Jessica on April 7th, 2008

Mmmmmm…….meat paper. Back when I was broke I lived on those packets of meat, generic mac n’ cheese and those little Jenni-O turkey hot dogs. Every once in a while I’d toss together some Tuna Helper. Ah, the good ole’ days.
Jill on April 7th, 2008

It confuses me why these are still around. Isn’t just as easy to back the same thing?

Oh I love confusing people - it’s grand.
lowderra on April 8th, 2008

Hey, if you want to make the second one semi-edible and lower in fat, skip the ranch dressing, grill the sandwich on a george foreman (or even a waffle machine!) then peel it open while it’s still hot and melty and cram some shredded lettuce and sliced tomato and sprouts on it.

Tastes better, and less guilt.
Rose on April 10th, 2008

being that I am, well, still broke. I am familiar with Land-o-frost, 99 cents for a pack-o-meat. and they even spice it up and have some variety.

these remind me of the lunchables they used to have, not sure if they still do. it was a roll with meat, kraft single, mayonaise and mustard. and maybe some chips or something, idk. but I used to eat them, when they were on sale.
Clio on April 10th, 2008

I loooooooooooove these sandwiches. My trick is this: building the sandwich (minus sauces), then slice it in half width-wise. I don’t microwave it for as long as it says on the box - maybe about 10 seconds less. I like it hot, but not falling apart gooey. Then I put on the ranch (just a little, not the whole packet) and discard the “salsa”. They are super yummy, but wow are they high in points.

http://www.cliopatra. net
Pammeh on April 11th, 2008

Those Louis Buddig things! It’s been so long since I heard the name…I used to sneak packs out of the fridge at home and just EAT them, 5+ at a time, when I was a kid. Good times.

Thinking back to all the things I ate as a kid, I wonder why I’m not fat.
Chang on April 12th, 2008

Why would anyone want to buy these? (espcially when it’s right next to Oscar Meyer and artisian bread is just a few ailes away?) If they are pre-made and all you have to do is heat, fine, but if you have to actually assemble them together, that’s the point?