South Beach Diet Penne & Chicken in Roasted Red Pepper Sauce with Broccoli

April 30, 2008 | Reviewer: Sarah

South Beach Diet Penne & Chicken in Roasted Red Pepper Sauce with Broccoli Price: $2.25
Serving: 10.5 oz.
Calories: 300
Fat: 18%, 12g
Cholesterol: 17%, 50mg
Sodium: 32%, 760mg
Protein: 25g
Carbohydrates: 9%, 27g
Fiber: 32%, 8g
Sugar: 6g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 Points

Smart Ones says: Breast strips with rib meat and penne in a creamy red pepper sauce with broccoli.

Sarah says: In comparison to my review of Smart Ones Roast Beef, where I was pleasantly surprised by a meal that I expected not to love, this meal was a sharp turn for the worse. I think that my expectations were simply way too high - this is yet another case of a horribly misleading and delicious-looking cover gone wrong. Everything about this little frozen meal called out to me. Whole grain wheat pasta? Check! Broccoli, my favorite frozen vegetable? Check! Some sort of sauce that’s sorta-creamy-and-sorta-spicy? CHECK! In addition to all of that, South Beach is apparently not eco-friendly, as their meal comes in a box that takes up approximately double the space that my Smart Ones takes, even though the meal is just 1.5 ounces heavier. This was yet another factor in my high expectations, as I extremely hungry when I selected the gargantuan parcel out of my freezer at lunchtime. Big box = big taste, right?

Not so much. The first let-down of the meal was the broccoli. I always eat the veggies first, because I’m a slightly OCD weirdo who likes to separate their foods and eat them in order from “least favorite” to “favorite.” It’s pretty hard to mess up broccoli, but somehow South Beach has managed it. I can’t even tell you what it was, either. The broccoli just tasted slightly off. Like maybe it had been frozen and thawed and re-frozen one too many times.

Then there was the pasta, which I had hoped would redeem my rather pathetic vegetable experience. I think the biggest disappointment was with the “Red Pepper Sauce,” which I had expected to taste . . . oh, I don’t know . . . peppery? Instead, it just tasted like sauce. Just generic sauce, that you might find in a big plastic container located in an underground hatch on a mysterious island in the South Pacific. The pasta has a strange texture, but that’s par for the course when you’re dealing with whole wheat pasta, and I really felt like it might have been enjoyable (the chicken was just fine, too) if there had been non-Dharma sauce on top of it.

Oh well, I guess that’s what you get for buying any meal with the word “diet” on the front of the package. Too bad I have two other South Beach items left in the freezer to try.

[The South Beach Diet is now known as South Beach Living. Also, if you’re into Lost but you’re never sure if this week’s episode will be new or a rerun, I recommend you check out Is Lost a Repeat?, a highly accurate, superbly informational website. -Ed.]

Filed Under 6 WW Points, Chicken, South Beach Meal Reviews, Two Stars | 7 Comments

Video Review: Lunchables Mini Tacos

April 28, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Lunchables Mini Tacos Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Serving: 1 box: 5.7oz. of food + 6.75 fl. oz.
Calories: 440
Fat: 15%, 10g
Cholesterol: 8%, 25mg
Sodium: 40%, 960mg
Protein: 20g
Carbohydrates: 24%, 71g
Fiber: 4%, 1g
Weight Watchers Points: 9 Points

Lunchables says: Lunchables Mini Tacos includes three soft flour tortillas and seasoned ground beef in taco sauce, Capri Sun 100% Fruit Juice and Wonka Nerds artificially flavored cherry candies.

Abi says: $2.50 is a lot to pay for a Capri Sun, some Nerds and lost dignity. I didn’t know that ground beef could be so finely pureed, which is good to know if I ever have the combination of a feeding tube and a hamburger craving.

Filed Under Beef, Lunchables Reviews, One Star, Oscar Mayer Reviews | 28 Comments

Thai Tom Yum Soup FreshPak Noodle Bowl

April 24, 2008 | Reviewer: Andrew

Thai Tom Yum Soup FreshPak Noodle Bowl Price: $2.50 on sale (Free from supplier)
Serving: 1/2 bowl, 3oz. plus water
Who eats a half bowl of microwaved soup? Nobody. That’s why the information below is for the entire bowl.
Calories: 300
Fat: 4%, 3g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 60%, 1460mg
Protein: 10g
Carbohydrates: 20%, 60g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 4g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 Per Serving, 6 Per Bowl

Annie Chun says: I love Thai food and one of my favorite dishes is Tom Yum Soup. I make Tom Yum Soup for myself and have wanted to share it with my customers, but it has taken me a while to perfect. Now I am excited to have a recipe that I can share with you. Tom Yum is the main soup in Thailand - light, fragrant and calming, wonderful on either warm or cold days. This Tom Yum Soup Bowl is super convenient and great tasting, ready in just one minute.

Andrew says: This is the tale of the four-star soup that shouldn’t have been. This soup tried so hard to turn me back, to make me hate it, and yet it was still pretty awesome.

In the beginning, I followed the package’s instructions to submerge Annie Chun’s famous FreshPak noodles (read: pre-cooked noodles vacuum sealed in a plastic chamber) in hot water to break them apart a bit. Upon attempting to pull the noodles apart, though, I was met with a most familiar odor. Could it be … yes, it was Play-Doh, the childhood modeling clay that smelled unsettlingly like bread dough and melted crayons. Was I really about to eat Play-Doh-smelling noodles? Yes. For science.

Then, after draining away that water, I was to add the soup’s flavor essence and toppings. I started with the package of sauce, the heart of the Tom Yum experience. I wrung it from its packet and was met with yet another pungent odor, this one too foreign to describe. After looking at the ingredients I decided that fish sauce, ginger, chilis and lime could well account for the odd spiciness of the scent penetrating my brain. Moving on to the little briquette of toppings, I decided to bust it apart a little before depositing a stone of dehydrated veggies onto my odoriferous concoction. This helped, as I was able to identify individual flecks of red pepper and wild onion.

Next, I added water to the bowl and put it in the microwave for 65 seconds. After I removed the bowl, I recognized that, miraculously, the flecks of veggies and other toppings had indeed reconstituted in the broth to look like actual food! And even though the aroma was still fairly foreign (I’ve never had Tom Yum before), it did smell somewhat appetizing! I spent a minute or so stirring and breaking apart chunks of Play-Doh noodles and then … it was time to eat.

I’ve only ever had one other Annie Chun’s bowl before (Abi: I believe I have you to thank for that as well), and I recall being amazed at the tenderness and utter edibility of these pre-cooked, shelf-stable noodles. This held true again for these Play-Doh-scented noodles. I couldn’t believe how perfectly al dente they ended up being (even if they stuck to each other a bit much).

And all those crazy, fishy, spicy scents from before melded to make a very enjoyable flavor on my tongue. I’ve had other corporate attempts at fusing chilies and lime before and it generally ends up being either too limey or too chili-y. In this soup, those two flavors, along with the fish sauce (as gross as that sounds) and ginger presence combine to bring a satisfying, tangy heat. Even the little flecks of onion, red pepper and — holy crap is that a mushroom? — other veggies added a little something to the experience. It’s not a five-star soup because, well, the veggies are still dehydrated and as much as I’m surprised at the successful flavor integration, I feel that if they could manage to make the broth mixture more hearty, they could squeeze another star out of me. As far as shelf-stable meals go it’s amazing, but I feel as though technology may yield us a more perfect Tom Yum soup before the next decade is out.

All in all, this soup tried really hard to gross me out with its fish sauce and putty noodles, but Annie Chun wins again with an interesting and hearty soup that somehow survives months on end in a pantry. The fish sauce will unfortunately disqualify this for vegetarians and vegans, but the rest of us can marvel at this wholly-natural wonder of modern food science.

[This meal was provided by Annie Chun’s PR people. -Ed.]

Filed Under 6 WW Points, Annie Chun Meal Reviews, Cholesterol Free, Four Stars, Pasta | 8 Comments

Near East Roasted Garlic & Olive Oil Couscous

April 23, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Near East Roasted Garlic & Olive Oil Couscous Price: $1.50 (on sale)
Serving: 1/3 box, 1 cup prepared
Calories: 220
Fat: 7%, 5g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 24%, 570mg
Protein: 8g
Carbohydrates: 13%, 39g
Fiber: 10%, 2g
Sugar: 8g
Weight Watchers Points: 4 points

Near East says: A delicate and flavorful dish consisting of 100% semolina wheat couscous combined with savory roasted garlic, onion and olive oil.

Abi says: Dear readers, please allow me to completely revolutionize your dinner time. If your are unfamiliar with couscous, don’t be scared. If you are familiar with couscous you’re nodding your head right now thinking ‘Dang, why don’t I make couscous all of the time?!?!’ I am appalled that I haven’t written about couscous before now.

For the uninitiated, couscous is basically tiny pasta balls. It is not a grain, like rice or bulgar, but essentially super-chopped spaghetti. But it is 18 times better than spaghetti because it is the easiest pasta ever invented. Also, it will not get marinara sauce on your white shirt. Oh, you are saying ‘What is easier than boiling water, putting in pasta and then draining it?’

Consider this couscous workflow:

Measure 1 1/4 cups of water into a pot. Add a glug of olive oil and the seasoning packet, bring to a boil.
Stir in couscous, cover and remove from heat.
After five minutes lift lid from pot, fluff couscous and serve

How insanely easy is that? You can’t even think of anything easier! Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is more difficult! Okay, faster - but you have to use a knife!

Now, this couscous from Near East is ‘instant’ couscous, which accounts for its super-speedy cooking time. Near East carries a wide variety of instant couscouses, but I have to say that the Roasted Garlic and Olive Oil variety holds a very special place in my heart. I like it because each box comes with enough seasoning that I don’t have to flavor the other ingredients I add to the dish. Shown here are chicken and peas. I’m also enamored of the serving size. Sure, 1 cup of food doesn’t seem like a whole lot, but once you add a chicken breast and a cup of vegetables you’ve got a remarkably filling, colorful, delicious meal for three.

Or if there are two of you, you can put the 3rd serving in a refrigerator box (anyone want to buy these for me so that I can stop using Ziploc containers?) and one of you can have it for lunch the next day. Couscous reheats beautifully.

You might be confused by my enthusiasm now, but once you give yourself over to the cult of couscous you’ll finally understand what fueled the Islamic Golden Age.*

*This statement is speculation based on a combination of claims in two Wikipedia articles. It should in no way be construed as a definitive statement on the existence of couscous in 7th century Arabia.

Filed Under 4 WW Points, Certified Kosher, Cholesterol Free, Five Stars, Near East Reviews, Pasta | 20 Comments