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Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. ~Jim Davis

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Wolfgang Puck Barbecue Chicken Pizza

February 13, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $6.00 (on sale)
Serving: 1/3 pizza, 4.78 oz.
Calories: 360
Fat: 20%, 13g
Cholesterol: 12%, 35mg
Sodium: 28%, 660mg
Protein: 17g
Carbs: 15%, 45g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 13g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 points

Wolfgang Puck says: Mozzarella, seasoned chicken, roasted red onions

Abi says: Recently enamored of the six-word memoir, I challenged myself to write a six word review of this pizza. While that may be enough for a life, it was too brief a description for pizza. Sure, I tried:

Fluffy crust, Watery Center, Plentiful Chicken
or
Lots of cheese. Where’s the flavor?
or
Essence of Barbecue Sauce. From Austria.
or
The cats shied away from it.

But in the end, I decided to write a real review. I had one of those nights where I didn’t want to have a side salad or steamed vegetables or even carrots drowned in ranch. No, I wanted to eat an entire pizza by myself.

I did not accomplish this task. Instead, I ate 3/4 of this pizza, accepting defeat when I finally got to the pool of watery cheese and too-soft crust at the center. Now, this watery center problem may just be an issue with the ovens of friends in Southeast DC. Here in my Northern California oven (and previously in my Northwest DC oven) I never had this watery-center issue.

Examining this pizza from the top down, the chunks of chicken were plentiful and peppery, with just one featuring the gristle that we’ve all come to know and love from animals made into foodstuffs. The cheese is one-note mozzarella. There’s plenty of it, but it is also boring. I’d really like to see a more interesting set of flavor profiles from a pizza that claims to be designed by Wolfgang Puck. Just a little nutty gruyere or a tangy cheddar could make a world of difference. I’m sure that Wolfgang could figure out something fun. The red onion was largely absent, a lack I overlooked because I was so pleased about the amount of chicken on this pizza. A well-balanced meal this is not.

The barbecue sauce here was fantastically light, hinting at the essence of barbecue sauce rather than gumming up the works with loads of sugary goo. I thought I’d be disappointed with the absence of thick sauce, but this version definitely has me rethinking my ideas on barbecue pizzas. The crust is right up there with the magnificently crisp and light (but not crackery or dry) crusts from Amy’s Kitchen.

The wet center and lack of onions aside (issue 1 was my fault, issue 2 was Mr. Puck’s), this is a solid contender for frozen BBQ chicken pizza. The chicken is miles ahead of similar store-brand offerings, but I still need to try the California Pizza Kitchen version. At $6.00 on sale, this pizza is selling for a whole lot more than the manufacturer’s suggested retail price of $5.99. But considering that this pizza with a side salad could easily satisfy two adults, I’d rate this a good buy so long as it was on sale.

Healthy Choice Minestrone Soup

February 12, 2008 | Reviewer: Jess

Price: $2.00 on sale
Serving: 1 cup, 8.6oz.
Calories: 200 per serving
Fat: 3%, 2g
Cholesterol: 1%, 5mg
Sodium: 20%, 470mg
Protein: 7g
Carbohydrates: 13%, 40g
Fiber: 21%, 5g
Sugar: 9g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 Points

Healthy Choice says: Made with tender penne pasta and hearty cuts of carrots, celery, green beans and potatoes in a sweet & savory tomato base

Jess says: There is a really strange stomach bug going around right now. It’s super contagious. In fact you probably just caught it from me through the web of inter-tubes. Sorry, my bad. The thing about this bug is, while you only feel actually sick for a very short period time, you feel generally not so right for a long time after. For a while I tried curing myself on a diet of vodka and French Toast. As it turns out, that is not the best medicine. Now, I’ve switched to a diet of oatmeal and soup and that seems to be working much much better. Lately, I have become a bit of a soup-noisseur and I have to say that Healthy Choice Minestrone definitely gets it right. Here’s why:

1. It’s Healthy Choice - so it’s probably healthy? And thus I feel somewhat better about what I’m eating. Some of the other brands throw a lot of salt in or are cream-based and too heavy (though more and more low-cal soups are available). I always feel like kind of a nutjob when I am observed analyzing and comparing labels in the market. I liked that just by looking at this label I felt I was, well, making a healthy choice.
2. Lots and lots of veggies – I mean damn! Each spoonful was overloaded with vegetable goodness and at least one noodle, usually more. With a lot of other brands, (Campbell for instance) there are a lot of sad looking brothly spoonfuls with just a veggie fleck. I like broth and the broth of this minestrone is pretty hearty, tomatoey and basilriffic. But when 50% of your diet is soup, something with more substance is really appreciated. The veggies were plump, fresh-tasting (somehow) and flavorful. The beans were especially soft and delicious.
3. Flip top – perfect for eating at work where there is definitely not a can opener. Why are there still cans that aren’t flip top? Why do some companies resist the temptation to evolve and embrace technology? And is it inevitable that you will splatter soup all over you when removing that last connection of flip top to the can? I think so.
4. Bowl packaging - No need to steal other people’s Tupperware. Yay!
5. Filling and delicious – I am on the road to wellness now. I can feel it! In fact, I would even have this soup when I’m not sick! It was that good. And no refrigeration necessary! Bonus points.

Buon appetito!

Olive Street Table Fromage en Provence Crisp

February 11, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $4.99 (yikes!)
Serving: 1/2 crisp, 2.25oz.
Calories: 250
Fat: 28%, 18g
Cholesterol: 17%, 50mg
Sodium: 9%, 220mg
Protein: 7g
Carbohydrates: 5%, 15g
Fiber: 4%, <1g
Sugar: 0g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 per 1/2 crisp

Olive Street Table says: The fromage en provence crisp is topped with goat and other cheeses, onions, and our special mix of herbs de provence

Abi says: Last weekend, while at a party celebrating the fact that my friend Josh didn’t have to travel anywhere for work for awhile (he’d been out of town 27 of the previous 30 days or something ridiculous like that), fellow reviewer Nicole sidled up to me and asked “What would you rather live without, cheese or meat?”

Of course, I misheard her and thought that she’d said “Cheese or me” and for a moment I panicked about what it would mean to eliminate either Nicole or cheese from my life. Fortunately, she then went on to weigh the merits of bacon versus the versatility of cheese and I realized that I wasn’t being asked one of those friendship-testing questions but rather being given an opportunity to relish the thought of a great many delicious cheese and meat-containing items.

For those of you who do not wish to give up cheese but will gladly forego meat, I offer you a review of Olive Street Table’s Provence Crisp. I know, I know, it has a ridiculous language-mixing name and really doesn’t it just sound so snooty?

Fortunately, this item has a degree of deliciousness to back up that snootiness. If you like love flaky pastry, goat cheese, and a smattering of red onion, then I have the snack for you. Okay, snack or part of a meal that must involve something including roughage or fiber because you are not going to find it here. This utterly decadent frozen item heated quickly in the oven (just ten minutes or so) and emerged redolent of herbs and cheese. Oh, it was a divine purchase, a purchase that I do not regret one bit.

Though, if I ate this more than once in a blue moon, I could see that my thighs would start to regret it fairly quickly. This little item (pizza? flatbread?) is made with a whole lot of butter, butter which translates into light-as-air pastry, but butter nonetheless.

In other downsides, there were fewer herbs than pictured on the box. Upside: the goat cheese was plentiful as was the other cheese that appeared in the form of shreds but is described only as “other cheeses” on the box blurb. I’d guess that it was the French version of Parmesan-Reggiano. This item is not for the faint-of-cheese-heart but is perfect for those who would toss aside bacon any day.

Kid Cuisine Deep Sea Adventure Fish Sticks

February 8, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $2.04 at Target
Serving: 1 Meal, 7.6oz.
Calories: 390
Fat: 17%, 11g
Cholesterol: 7%, 20mg
Sodium: 19%, 460mg
Protein: 14g
Carbohydrates: 19%, 57g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
Sugar: 16g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Kid Cuisine says: Just when you thought it was safe to finish the fish sticks -da dum, da dum - along come our fruit Gummy Shark Snacks. A whale of a meal!

Abi says: This meal wasn’t so much a lunch as an act of vengeance. If you’ve been doing some sinning lately (Fat Tuesday festivities and poor voting choices on Super Tuesday both come to mind), you could always choose this meal as part of a Friday Lenten penance. It must be worth at least 40 Hail Marys.

I am fortunate in knowing that this is probably the worst video I’ll ever make and the worst item I’ve ever consumed: it can only get better from here. Please leave comments below for future video subjects and suggestions for improvement.

Thanks,
Abi Jones