2 Weeks and Counting

January 25, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi Jones

In April 2007 (yes, almost a year ago) I asked the readers of HeatEatReview.com to participate in a survey, a survey of which frozen food they’d like to see me review in a video. The selected item was Kid Cuisine Deep Sea Adventure Fish Sticks.

I didn’t realize it would take me months just to find the fish sticks. And now I know why they aren’t carried in more than one store per metropolitan area. They are dangerously mind-altering:

Video Blog Stills

Notice that I’ve gone from innocent (albeit, blurry) to in-focus and haunted? Yeah, that’s what these fish sticks will do to you.

I’ve been filming, editing, putting together some music and realizing that I was a fool to think that I could accomplish my vision with the software that came with my PC. I’m still trying to figure out exactly how to incorporate video reviews (yes, I said reviews, with an ’s’, plural) into HeatEatReview.com.

I’ve had (and am still having) a lot of fun making this video and I can’t wait to share it with you on February 8, 2008.

Filed Under Announcements | 9 Comments

Red Baron Singles Pepperoni French Bread Pizza

January 24, 2008 | Reviewer: Guest Reviewers

Red Baron Singles Pepperoni French Bread Pizza Price: $2.50 (sale at Safeway)
Serving: 1 pizza, 5.4oz.
Calories: 350
Fat: 23%, 15g
Cholesterol: 10%, 30mg
Sodium: 46%, 1090mg
Protein: 15g
Carbs: 14%, 41g
Fiber: 7%, 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Red Baron says: Introducing delicious Red Baron singles made with the finest ingredients, quality toppings and real cheeses. They make the perfect addition to lunch or dinner, or as a wholesome snack on the go.

This review was ghost-written. George ate the pizza, then Abi asked him about it and put together the text. Then George checked it and said “I write pretty good reviews.”

George says: Grad school isn’t easy. What’s even tougher is living with someone who takes up most of the freezer with off-limits frozen food. Fortunately, Red Baron was on sale at Safeway and I picked up a couple of boxes for just $2.50 each.

One of the features that differentiates this pizza from others is the no-hassle crisping tray. I don’t have to mess around with assembling the tray or unwrapping the pizza and placing it on a poorly constructed tray. I just have to unwrap the pizza, replace the pepperonis that came off when I turned the box upside down, and throw the pizza in the microwave.

Speaking of pepperoni, the pieces on this pizza are ample, ensuring a bit of pepperoni in almost every bite. The cheese is fine, nothing special, but contributing to the making of an overall decent pizza. The sauce is pretty great, but the real highlight of this pizza is the crust. The bread isn’t watery, a hallmark of many cheap pizzas. Instead it tastes like crusty, crispy French Bread, which is very good considering that this is a French Bread Pizza.

A single French Bread pizza isn’t a big meal, but it has just as much volume (maybe more) as one of those 79¢ party pizzas. And those have much sparser cheese and nearly non-existent toppings.

I recommend picking up a box or two whenever you see them on sale. You really can’t beat the price of $1.25 each for reliable, satisfying French Bread pizza.

Filed Under 8 WW Points, Frozen Pizza Reviews, Red Baron Pizza Reviews | 9 Comments

Alexia Onion Rings

January 23, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Alexia Onion Rings Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Serving: 1/3 bag, 3.67
Calories: 230
Fat: 19%, 12g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 10%, 230mg
Protein: 10g
Carbs: 9%, 28g
Fiber: 17%, 4g
Sugar: 3g
Weight Watchers Points: 5 Points

Alexia says: Alexia Onion Rings combine sweet Spanish onions with a delicate all natural Japanese style Panko breading giving them a light, crispy texture that is bursting with real onion flavor.

Abi says: I bought these not just because they were on sale, but because they are described on the front of the package as ‘Crispy Golden Onions with Sea Salt’. I am currently in love with sea salt, so you could probably package freeze dried brussel sprouts and label them ‘Chou de Bruxelles avec Fleur de Sel’ and I would try them.

This package of sea-salted onion rings contains three appropriately side-dish-like servings, so I ate them on three separate occasions, each time heating them up in the oven at high temperatures, but for different amounts of time. It was very scientific.

I have an accurately heated oven, so my concern lay mostly with the large time span that could be used to cook the onion rings. Since I wouldn’t be frying them this time around (are they fried by Alexia? I do not know), I knew that it would require patience to get a crispy coating, patience and the magic of Japanese bread crumbs. Which if you think about it is sort of funny. Our culinary culture hails these Japanese bread crumbs as the Best Thing Ever! but supposedly they (Japanese people - specifically Okinawans) also live a gazillion years because they don’t eat bread, horrible, horrible bread. But back to onion rings.

On the first go-round, I cooked the onion rings for the mid-range of time (about 15 minutes, I think), flipping them halfway through the cooking process. This was a disaster. Half-cooked onion rings are soggy and limp, meaning that they resist any efforts to be flipped and fall apart. This results in separate chunks of breading and onion rings, which is exactly the opposite of what I’d like to eat. I finally pulled the rings out when they’d reached immense hotness and the approximate color of the onion rings on the package. They tasted good (I ate them plain and with ketchup) but the sea salt wasn’t exactly evident (read: Where are you, Fleur de Sel?) and I had to pick up separate pieces of somewhat slimy onion and not-quite-crispy breading. It was quite annoying because doesn’t Panko=crispity crunchiness? And aren’t onion rings meant to be a single unit, not a series of alternative bread-onion-bread bites?

On the second try I just tried flipping the onion rings later in the cook cycle. This resulted in a crispier onion ring (perfect crispness), but also a complete lack of onion. That’s right, the onion was just missing. At first I thought that I had a defective onion ring

On the final attempt I decided that the onion rings could go without flipping and would be cooked for a bit less time than the second try. These ones turned out fine on the outside (sogginess was finally banished!), but the insides were completely devoid of onion. Again. I was not a happy baker. Also, I was tired of eating onion rings that were only marginally better than the super-processed ones from Burger King.

Where did I go wrong? Was I just down to the last of the bag? Had I overcooked them to the point of onion evaporation? Is it possible for crispy breading and tender onion to exist in the same decadent appetizer? You would think so, but Alexia’s inclusion of onion powder makes me wonder just what sort of magic is involved in making onion rings. You’d think that the actual onion was enough.

Filed Under 5 WW Points, Alexia Reviews, Cholesterol Free, Two Stars | 12 Comments

Whole Kitchen Chicken Enchiladas

January 22, 2008 | Reviewer: Guest Reviewers

Whole Kitchen Chicken Enchiladas Price: $2.29
Serving: 1 package, 8oz.
Calories: 310
Fat: 12%, 8g
Cholesterol: 12%, 35mg
Sodium: 25%, 610mg
Protein: 16g
Carbs: 14%, 42g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 Points

Whole Kitchen says: Filled with natural, sustainably farmed chicken, our Whole Kitchen Chicken Enchiladas are convenient, quick to fix and perfect for a delicious, wholesome meal. Our enchiladas are handmade using authentic corn tortillas made with natuaral masa and topped with a savory, traditionally spiced sauce.

Kelly says: I am clueless when it comes to good Mexican food. I like Mi Barrio, a run down place near the freeway and I like Chipotle, a mega-super-chain once owned (90% of shares) by McDonalds. Obviously my standard is ‘Does it taste vaguely foreign?’. You might laugh, but as I woman of Eastern European descent who was raised in the Midwest, I grew up eating hot dishes (casseroles for all you coastal people), not tacos and enchiladas.

But with the ATL commuting issues and lots of paperwork at the office, I don’t ever have time to slip out for some incredible tacos al pastor. I have to plan ahead. And believe me, picking up fresh Mexican food at breakfast time doesn’t mean you’re going to have that same degree of freshness at lunch. When I saw these enchiladas at Whole Foods for just $2.29 I thought ‘Woooo! Finally a somewhat inexpensive all natural Mexican-type food that I can eat in the office. Lean Cuisine Fiesta Chicken gets old fast and a lot of stuff out there that looks good isn’t so good for me.

It turns out that these enchiladas aren’t so good for me either. They pack 310 calories into 8 ounces of crusty tortilla barely covered with bland tomato sauce. I only ever eat mild salsa (yes, even medium is too strong for me), but the mole in these enchiladas is a joke. As far as toppings go, there was a smattering of cheese, but it was more of a decoration than an actual ingredient. What a bummer.

These Whole Kitchen Chicken enchiladas do have meat, but it isn’t the memorable chunks of tender chicken I find in Trader Joe’s Salsa Verde Enchiladas. These measly, bland pieces were each about the size of a small marble. Dear Whole Foods, there’s this awesome thing called ‘marinade’. I suggest you look into it.

I wish I had something nice to say about this meal. For the price and the naturalness, I was looking forward to making this a lunchtime staple. If it magically appeared in my freezer or was free or I forgot to bring my lunch and a friend had one sitting around I would eat it again. But I don’t think I’ll pay money for another box. Back to the ~~drawing board~~ freezer section, I suppose.

Filed Under 6 WW Points, Chicken, Three Stars, Whole Foods Reviews, Whole Kitchen Reviews | 7 Comments