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Food, like a loving touch or a glimpse of divine power, has that ability to comfort. ~Norman Kolpas

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Lean Cuisine Grilled Chicken with Teriyaki Glaze

January 31, 2008 | Reviewer: Guest Reviewers

Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Serving: 1 entree, 10oz.
Calories: 270
Fat: 4%, 3g
Cholesterol: 11%, 40mg
Sodium: 27%, 660mg
Protein: 19g
Carbs: 13%, 42g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 11g
Weight Watchers Points: 6 Points

Lean Cuisine says: Grilled chicken breast with pineapple, water chestnuts, and sesame flavored rice.

Kelly says: Upon first glance at this meal I thought “Wow, a whole chicken breast! Crazy!” And now I know that I should listen to my inner voice because it is right all of the flippin’ time. A whole chicken breast is crazy. When I hear the word ‘teriyaki’ I envision dark meat chicken (thighs, to be specific), a scoop of sticky white rice, and a drizzling of sweetly spicy and salty sauce.

Maybe some vegetables too.

I don’t picture a tired, worn-out, whole breast of chicken that’s been cooked in the microwave. I don’t imagine powder-covered nibs of rice claiming to be sesame-flavored when they are in fact just tongue-coating. I don’t think of the bland crunch of water chestnuts, which must be served alongside another vegetable in order to have any meaning in a meal.

In short, when I see teriyaki, I don’t see this Lean Cuisine meal. Whose idea was it to have an enormous chunk of chicken in there? Who thought it would microwave completely without drying out the edges, leaving them tough and gnarly? Doesn’t Lean Cuisine have a stable of food scientists perfecting dishes like their wonderful Thai Style Chicken and Rice? Where were those people when someone decided to make this dish?

This meal can be turned around. All Lean Cuisine has to do is pre-chop the chicken into chunks, add 10 times the veggies, not putting the veggies in the sauce (where they turn to total mush), and forego the pineapple chunks (they are slimy and gooshy after the microwaving). Oh, and select a completely different method of rice preparation and seasoning, because this is the worst rice I’ve ever had in a frozen meal. I know, that seems like a lot of work, but I have confidence in the people of Lean Cuisine. Until that change occurs, I will stay far, far away from anything resembling this meal.

Amy’s Tortilla Casserole and Black Beans Bowl

January 30, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $5.19
Serving: 1 bowl, 9.5oz.
Calories: 390
Fat: 28%, 18g
Cholesterol: 8%, 25mg
Sodium: 33%, 780mg
Protein: 18g
Carbs: 14%, 41g
Fiber: 28%, 7g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Amy’s Kitchen says: This casserole is based on a popular Mexican dish called “Chilaquiles.” When Amy’s parents first tasted it in Oaxaca they came back and asked Amy’s chefs to find the recipe. One of the chefs (whose family had owned a Mexican restaurant in San Francisco) was already familiar with the dish and adapted it to suit Amy’s Standards . . . organic ingredients, fewer “hot” spices, and less fat. The result is delicious and might remind you of a bowl of “nachos” made with organic baked corn chips and melted cheddar and jack cheeses. Plus . . . an assortment of organic vegetables and our own homemade fresh tofu. On the side are delicately seasoned slow-cooked black beans, making this gluten free meal in a bowl thoroughly satisfying.

Abi says: My apologies for the longest frozen food origin explanation in the world. It seems that the people at Amy’s Kitchen (and hey, if y’all are reading this, can I come visit you and tour the factory? Please?) ate a version of my most favorite hangover food EVER, came back to the United States, de-Mexicanized it, added tofu, and are now selling it as tortilla casserole.

When I saw this at the grocery store I was unnaturally excited about a frozen product. I was so eager to try this that I broke my cardinal rule of frozen food and paid a full $5.19 for this bowl.

As a person of Latin American heritage and a general enjoyer of food, I understand now that I made a mistake. Now I know how Italians feel when they think of Chef Boyardee. Where are the layers of flavor usually evident in Amy’s Kitchen meals? Where is the cheese? Why does the tofu have to be so obviously tofu-looking?

This bowl is full of mushy corn tortillas, bland tomato sauce (it would seem a shame to call it salsa or mole), and a healthy side of black beans. I know that it is possible to make a completely awesome meal out of those ingredients. However, this meal is not awesome. The bowl is filling, but it is also boring. It is so boring that at one point while eating it (during an I-want-to-be-President debate) I said out loud “Wow, this is boring.” and George asked “Hillary?” and I said “Well, her too, but I was talking about this meal.” And then he looked at it in a way that said ‘Yeah, it is not as good as my microwaved mini pizza.’

When something from Amy’s Kitchen is beat by a 79¢ pizza, you know there’s a problem. This meal makes me sad because I worry that an entire generation of healthful frozen food eating Americans are going to think of tortilla casserole or chilaquiles and they’ll think of this bowl.

This isn’t how it is folks and this isn’t how it has to be. If you’re looking for something Mexicanish and in the Amy’s Kitchen line, stick with the Santa Fe Enchilada Bowl, the Cheese Enchilada Meal or the Mexican Tamale Pie (just 2 points). Any of those is a terrific alternative to this dud.

Green Giant Simply Steam Seasoned Broccoli & Carrots

January 29, 2008 | Reviewer: Becky

Price: $1.89 + tax
Serving: 4oz
Serving Size: 1/2 Package
Calories: 60 per serving
Fat: 4%, 3g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 11%, 260mg
Protein: 2g
Carbohydrates: 3%, 8g
Fiber: 12%, 3g
Weight Watchers Points: 1 per serving
Diet Exchanges: 1½ Vegetable, ½ fat, Carbohydrate Choices: ½

Green Giant says: Perfectly steam cooked every time through our new steam seam, Simply Steam Seasoned Vegetables use special blends of herbs & seasonings to accent the natural taste & goodness of delicious Green Giant vegetables.

Becky says: I love steamed veggies, and since this product came out on the market, I ALWAYS have a few boxes in the freezer. Who wants to take the time to take out the steamer basket for the stock pot, wait for the water to boil, wait for the veggies to cook, and then try to fit the pot, steamer basket, and lid into the dishwasher? Not me!

These veggies are SIMPLE to make – all you do is take it out of the box, nuke it, cut open the bag, dump the veggie/sauce mix into a pretty bowl, and ta-da! Fresh steamed veggies, and no dirty pots in sight. The veggies come out perfect every time, crisp, colorful, and tasting fantastic. Who could ask for anything more?

Lately, I’ve been bringing these to work with me as an add-on to my lunch. The only thing discouraging here is that I don’t want to eat just half of the package (it serves 2), so therefore, I’m getting double of the nasties that make an appearance (fat, sodium, etc). But hey, I’m getting my veggies, so I’m just thinking that everything else just cancels each other out.

If you DON’T have this in your freezer right now, something’s wrong. You need to go buy right now. You no longer have an excuse for not eating your veggies. And for that, I’m not sorry!

However, I am sorry that I’m still waiting for my Brussels Sprouts. C’mon Green Giant!

Zatarain’s New Orleans Style Red Beans and Rice

January 28, 2008 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $2.00 (on sale)
Serving: 1/2 package, 1 cup prepared
Calories: 190
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 50%, 1190mg
Protein: 8g
Carbs: 13%, 40g
Fiber: 18%, 5g
Sugar: <1g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 points

Zatarain’s says: Red Beans & Rice is a traditional Monday dinner in New Orleans and has wide appeal today. This mix has precooked beans so total preparation time is under 30 minutes. Great with sausage or pork chops as a side dish or entree, or straight as packaged for a meatless meal.

Abi says: There’s no denying my love of Zatarain’s Bean and Rice mixes. They remind me of camping in New Hampshire, dinner simmering on a camp stove, a roaring fire just waiting for marshmallows and the promise of needing to escape the tent when it floods after four straight nights of rain.

Zatarain’s isn’t every day food. It is superbly salty (50% of your daily limit in just one cup of food!), lacking significant texture, and a sludgy grey that might put off all but the colorblind. It is also really freaking delicious. Perhaps my enjoyment of this meal is irrational, but I was too was a skeptic before I had my first ravenous bite of Zatarain’s Black Beans and Rice. It is packed with such a savory, meatiness that you wouldn’t believe it is vegetarian (note: the box says ‘natural flavors’ which could mean meat), or at least, not outrightly meaty.

This food has all of the hallmarks of comfort necessary on a cold night: hearty, filling beans and rice, plenty of flavor, and quality of perfection when eaten alone or paired with sliced and sauteed hot links (or half smokes for you DC folks). On the downside, this stuff takes forever to cook. Sure, the beans are actually pre-cooked and dehydrated, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to have a meal in less than 30 minutes. No, you’ll need to give yourself something more like 45 minutes to allow time for your water to boil, for the dish to cook, and for the sauce to thicken (very important). You’ll have just enough food to feed two super-hungry people or three moderately hungry people who also enjoy side dishes.

I look forward to trying Zatarain’s frozen meals when I finally find them in stores. Until then, I’ll have to go with my once or twice a month hearty, stomach-filling, sodium-intensive dinner.