Trader Joe's Philly Cheesesteak Pizza

December 19, 2007 | Reviewer: Abi

Trader Joe’s Philly Cheesesteak Pizza Price: $3.99
Serving: 1/3 pizza, 8oz.
Calories: 360
Fat: 21%, 14g
Cholesterol: 20%, 60mg
Sodium: 32%, 770mg
Protein: 26g
Carbs: 11%, 32g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Weight Watchers Points: 8 Points

Trader Joe says: Did you ever think you’d find a Philly Cheesesteak in the pizza section? Neither did we, until we came across this delicious creation. Inspired by the City of Brotherly Love, Trader Joe’s Philly Cheesesteak Pizza is destined to become aclassic in its own right. We’ve topped this pizza’s crust with thinly sliced, perfectly seasoned USDA choice roast beef, roasted onions, red & yellow bell peppers and four savory cheeses.

Abi says: Before this whole review gets underway, I’d like to let all of you know that I’ve never actually had a Philly cheesesteak in Philadelphia. I’ve had cheesesteaks (with provolone, not Cheez Whiz) and I’ve been to Philadelphia (Core de Roma is a completely charming Italian restaurant serving Roman cuisine. You should go there. And get the artichokes. They are so good you will die.) but I haven’t had cheesesteak in Philadelphia. I’m sure it is transcendent.

This lack of experience can’t stop me from telling you what’s wrong with this pizza: too many toppings. That’s right, there’s just too much beef and cheese and too many peppers and onions. Seriously, Trader Joe, do you think that I have forks at my disposal? Do you think that I’m going to eat some toppings off the top of the pizza to make consumption easier?

The most common complaint I hear about frozen pizza is “There weren’t enough toppings.” Sure, pizza crust and sauce are usually nice, but they simply serve as a way for people to eat large quantities of salty meat without feeling like they’ve become temporary adherents to the Atkins diet.

Sadly, there’s a downside to having so many toppings on a pizza: the toppings in the middle were somewhat cool even though the edges of the pizza were definitely done. That crazy-delicious amount of seasoned sliced steak should probably be broiled at some point, but lacking that sort of patience (heat the oven to 500 degrees? and then watch it to make sure my pizza doesn’t burn? ha!).

I just tossed a couple already-sliced pieces in the microwave. They were still good enough to eat with relish and the entire pizza (which is on the medium-to-small side) was hearty enough to feed and sate two hungry adults.

comments

5 Responses to “Trader Joe's Philly Cheesesteak Pizza”

Jess on December 20th, 2007

As a Philly native, I thought I would consider this blasphemy, but I’m actually kind of intrigued. It looks delicious and the meat seems adequately thin sliced.
Abi, I am sorry that I never took you to philly so that we could drink too many lagers and stand in front of Pat’s to take in the smell of greasy meat and watch the chaos ensue. I hope it happens one day. That would be swell.
Abi Jones on December 20th, 2007

Why didn’t we ever go to Philadelphia together? I think that you usually went there for holidays or birthdays, so that could be part of it.

I am considering your comment an offer to take me on a tour of the City of Brotherly Love sometime when I’m on the East Coast. In return, I will guide you through the mean, hilly streets of San Francisco. Or we could just take the BART to the Mission where it is not very hilly an there are enough awesome bookstores, restaurants, and cute barristas to occupy us for days.
Molly on December 21st, 2007

I’m finding that your recent pizza reviews are very inconsistent. Based on this review, I wouldn’t want to buy/eat this pizza. It seems like you’ve got nothing good to say about it, yet you gave it 4 stars (and I know you’ve got a picky palate, as do I.) I’ve noticed this a lot recently. I love your shtick, but it’s beginning to overpower your reviews, making them confusing/conflicting.

What gives?
Abi Jones on December 22nd, 2007

Molly, you’re right. This review is poorly written and doesn’t really talk about the ingredients in the pizza. Thanks for the reality check. Sometimes it is tough to edit one’s own work, so I need to do a better job talking more about the actual food.
Stef on May 3rd, 2008

Hey Abi, by “eat with relish” you mean relish like happiness and not relish like dill relish, right? Just checking.