South Beach Diet Turkey and Bacon Club Wraps

October 31, 2007 | Reviewer: Guest Reviewers

South Beach Diet Turkey and Bacon Club Wraps Price: $2.50
Serving: 1 meal. 7.05 oz.
Calories: 250
Fat: 20%, 13g
Sodium: 47%, 1130mg
Protein: 24gg
Carbs: 8%, 24g
Fiber: 15%, 15g
Weight Watchers Points: 5 Points

South Beach says: South Beach Diet Wraps combine the perfect blend of ingredients - soft wraps, flavorful sauces or dressings, and natural cheeses or crunchy toppings - for a taste sensation you’ll love!

Kelly says: I am not on the South Beach diet. I am a carb lover (hello, Easten European heritage!) and I find dieting slightly freaky. I’m not talking about eating healthy. I’m talking about dieting, you know, the sort that brings to mind the Gap Girls on Saturday Night Live.

But the South Beach Diet is supposed to be nutritious and filling, satisfying even. So when I saw this adult lunchable on sale at my grocery store, I thought “Great! Now I won’t have to wait in the office microwave line!”

Ugh, I’d rather wait in line than eat this any day. The mayo alone is 40 calories. Which means that cutting out the mayo brings this meal down to 210 calories. I also did not consume the Jell-o. Even healthier, right? WRONG. I was hungry in two hours. That’s what happens when you don’t EAT anything. I felt like Chris Farley in that video, but minus David Spade and Adam Sandler as my preppy sidekicks.

Even though it does not need to be said, I will say it: South Beach Diet’s Turkey Bacon Club Wraps is not a filling lunch, though it is sort of fun to put together. There are ultra-processed turkey slices, mini wheat tortillas, and a little packet of bacon. I wish I could just buy little packs of bacon in the store. Then I could occasionally use bacon without making the whole house smell like deep fried meat.

I know, there are pouches of pre-made bacon already out there, and they aren’t even refrigerated! That weirds me out.

Bacon aside, these South Beach Diet wraps are simply Lunchables for adults but without the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup or Andes mint. Wowsers. 47% of my sodium intake for the day was in the ~~meal~~ 7 ounce snack.

As a college educated adult I should know better than to eat this junk.

Filed Under 5 WW Points, Kraft Reviews, South Beach Meal Reviews, Turkey, Two Stars | 2 Comments

Delimex Chicken and Cheese Taquitos

October 29, 2007 | Reviewer: Abi

Delimex Chicken and Cheese Taquitos Price: $1.25
Serving: 1 box, 4.2oz.
Calories: 320
Fat: 20%, 13g
Sodium: 25%, 590mg
Protein: 11g
Carbs: 13%, 40g
Fiber: 11%, 3g
Weight Watchers Points: 7 Points

Delimex says: Flour Chicken and Cheese Taquitos in a Crisp and Carry Box

Abi says: I’m a taquito fiend. While I wouldn’t commit a crime to get taquitos, I would totally destroy my kidneys or liver or whatever gets screwed up by fried foods to eat them. You don’t even have to call them taquitos. You could just say “Today we’re serving some meat rolled in a tortilla and deep fried.” and I would shout “Sold!” because I am that into taquitos.

But not for meals. Just for appetizers. Or a snack. In fact, when I lived alone I would buy one of those 60 packs of taquitos (hey, I lived in Texas, they only came in 60 packs) and eat a few at a time, slowly savoring the entire taquito package. This isn’t because I enjoy holding back, but because those babies are deep fried and I do have a teensy, weensy bit of self-respect.

Also, I didn’t own a microwave. And when it takes 25 minutes to heat something up in the stove you have to be pretty committed to eating that thing. While I greatly enjoy taquitos, I am not sure I can give them a half hour of my life, so when I saw that Delimex had taquitos that could be heated in 1/10 of the time, I was quite enthusiastic.

For those of you that lack taquito-related willpower and for those of you that enjoy a lot of packaging for your food, I present to you the Delimex Chicken and Cheese Taquitos To Go! (The exclamation point is theirs, not mine) Yes, your coworkers will lose all sorts of respect for you when they see you microwaving these.

Respect-loss aside, you should stay away from these taquitos because the cheese is nonexistent and the chicken is dry and unappealing. Though, that could be the tortilla (it is difficult to tell the difference between the two) and when I can’t tell where the tortilla ends and the chicken begins, we know that there’s a problem.

Check out there picture! There is approximately a 3:1 ration of tortilla:fillings. If you got a burrito that was 3/4 tortilla you’d be pretty upset, though Delimexi seems to think that we’ll accept that same strategy in a taquito. No go, Delimex.

Filed Under 7 WW Points, Chicken, Delimex Reviews, Two Stars | Leave a Comment

Claim Jumper Salisbury Steak

October 24, 2007 | Reviewer: Nicole

Claim Jumper Salisbury Steak Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Serving: 1 package, 16oz.
Calories: 630 per serving
Fat: 55%, 36g
Cholesterol: 40%, 120mg
Sodium: 74%, 1780mg
Protein: 35g
Carbs: 14%, 43g
Fiber: 24%, 6g
Sugar: 7g
Weight Watchers Points: 16 points

Claim Jumper says: A giant ground beef steak grilled with a smokey flavor and brown gravy. Served along with it’s favorite side dishes, broccoli and macaroni and cheese.

Nicole says: I felt like Indiana Jones when I found this last night at the grocery store - a new brand of frozen food! More Claim Jumper reviews will be forthcoming. This meal is produced by a company running a chain of restaurant by the same name on the West Coast and into the Mid-West a bit. They are apparently known at the restaurant for their large portions. Yay, what a great way to get ready for a Winter of hibernating! All the meals I selected from this line last night are 16 ounces - that’s One LB., but unlike some sexist Swanson lines, Claim Jumper doesn’t feel the need to yell about size from the mountain tops or emblazon it in large letters across their packaging.

The preparation of this meal was on the caliber of a Marie Callender meal - the gravy packet was heated separately in a bowl (first time I’ve seen this in a Salisbury Steak dish), the broccoli had one tablespoon of water added before cooking, and both the meat/cheese/pasta plate section and the frozen bag of gravy had to be stabbed 2-4 times with a fork before cooking - when they say “to vent”, do they know I’m having a bad day at work? The cooking time is too ambiguous at “five to nine minutes”, so I chose the safe route - seven is central. Then I added ten seconds since I had a lasagna recently with a cool center. Bad decision. My macaroni burned on one edge :(.

Did I MENTION that the meal comes with Macaroni & Cheese? Large, thick, ribbed macaroni noodles make it feel homestyle and bright yellow cheese with a hint of Velveeta-ish flavor provide a devilishly tasty in the “I’m being a bad girl” way (versus the “Do you have any Grey Poupon” way). The broccoli steams pretty well - it could be a bit firmer, but it is far from mush and tastes as fresh and green as it looks.

And this thing they call “Salisbury Steak”. As if it’s not strange enough that the gravy is packaged separately, is not remotely gelatinous, and is offered in such a large portion that I, of all people, chose to discard a third - this meat has a tenderized but hearty, dense texture. You know how most Salisbury steak is a bit spongy? Which isn’t terrible, I mean, if it is manually tenderized, that can result. But this is just such an unusual, tasty, cut-of-meat versus reconstituted meat type texture. Not to say it’s not reconstituted (I’ll report back on that after I sneak into the Claim Jumper plant to do some research), but it doesn’t necessarily taste or feel reconstituted.

I am full, but I am not stuffed. And I feel like I had what could be described as a balance of healthy and tasty and super-fattening in my meal. Buy Claim Jumper food!

Filed Under Beef, Claim Jumper Reviews, Four Stars | 19 Comments

Trader Giotto's (Joe's) Gnocchi al Gorgonzola

October 22, 2007 | Reviewer: Adina

Trader Giotto’s Gnocchi al Gorgonzola Price: $2.99
Serving: ¾ cup, 4 oz.
Calories: 230
Fat: 17%, 11g
Cholesterol: 10%, 30mg
Sodium: 18%, 440mg
Protein: 7g
Carbs: 9%, 25g
Fiber: 4%, 1g
WW Points: 5 Points per Serving
20 Weight Watchers Points per Bag

Trader Joe says: There was no bag blurb and no product description on TJ’s site.

Adina says:

Pro: This meal was like eating little tender bites of heaven covered in gorgonzola cheese. It is heaven in a bag. If I worked for Trader Joe’s, that is how I would describe this product. “Try heaven in a bag. You may need a coronary angioplasty after you’re through with it, but it’s worth it!”

I cooked this in a skillet for 7 minutes. I know that is pseudo-cheating since it has microwave oven heating instructions, but I didn’t want to risk sacrificing delicious gnocchi dinner for HER purity. Sorry, Abi. To be honest though, I think it is worth it. Considering it adds only one extra piece of cookware to the post-dinner clean up and all it involves is emptying the bag into a skillet and then watching the frozen chunks of gorgonzola melt evenly over the ever expanding gnocchi, I say take the plunge. Pseudo-cook a real meal tonight. Your taste buds will love you.

Anyway, as far as taste goes, this was a 5 star meal. The gnocchi were tender but not chewy and definitely not mushy. The cheese was flavorful and the sauce was rich and creamy. I will never order gnocchi out again because now I know I can get the same delicious meal for 9 dollars cheaper.

The best part was that I never felt like someone was trying to feed me gravy covered cardboard. A novelty, I know!

Con: One bag is 4 servings. Getting me to stop after a quarter of the bag would require a locked muzzle and handcuffs. And a tranquilizer. Because I just plowed through the entire 4 servings and now I cannot so much as look at any more saturated fat until after dinner tomorrow. Seriously, eat the whole bag and you will have accounted for 140% of your daily saturated fat intake, assuming you are (trying to stay) on a less than 2,000 calorie diet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s worth it. HEAVEN IN A BAG. I’m just saying, be ready to sacrifice the next 2 days of office birthday cake for it.

Therefore, this meal weighed in at a 4, since eating this meal means that I probably will have to at least pass the gym on my way home from work tomorrow. Because walking past the gym is half the battle.

Filed Under 5 WW Points, Four Stars, Pasta, Product of Italy, Trader Joe's Reviews, Vegetarian | 8 Comments