Stouffer’s Corner Bistro Margherita Flatbread

April 23, 2007 | Reviewer: Jess

Stouffer's Corner Bistro Margherita Flatbread

SRP: $3.99
Serving: 1 flatbread, 9.25 oz.
Calories: 550
Fat: 35%, 23g
Cholesterol: 13%, 40mg
Sodium: 36%, 860mg
Protein: 22g
Carbohydrates: 22%, 66g
Fiber: 15%, 4g

Stouffer’s says: Diced garden tomatoes, basil, garlic and red onions in a tomato olive oil sauce, topped with mozzarella cheese.

Jess says: IF my memory serves me correctly (and it probably does), Abi had offered me this (Lots Of Capital Letters) Lean Cuisine Corner Bistro Flatbread Margherita pizza because I like tomatoes and she does not. The tomato is a vegestite and I respect alternative lifestyles. Also they are sassily acidic, juicy and tasty. Plus, like a good American, I <3 pizza.

As I was warming up the toaster oven, Nicole got all up in my face. She had made her flatbread in the microwave to much success and did not understand my inclination to toast. But I like firm bread. The microwave soggy gummy bread does not please my bicuspids. They like a challenge! I took a risk and set the toaster oven to 350 only to, like rotisserie chicken in a Ronco appliance, forget it.

In the meantime, Josh came into my office whining because it was 2:00 pm and he was hungry but busy and it was raining and how was he to get food?!, tear, sob, tear, sad face. In a random cosmic moment of kindness, I offered to order him Pizza Hut delivery so he could focus more fully on whining. Pizza Hut has recently been on my mind due to 3 different email chains I have been on regarding Book It! which balances the virtues of literacy and obesity. I personally love a good Personal Pan and I’m all about reading to eat.

As I daydreamed on hold with Pizza Hut, I started to salivate over mental images of buttery crust and regretted the fact that I had birthed the Margherita from its plastic-sealed shell. But as a pragmatist, I know you should lie in the plastic tray bed that you make, so I carried on. Many minutes later it became obvious that by “on hold” Pizza Hut meant “in oblivion”. Hungry Josh was not happy and eventually commissioned another hungry coworker to fetch some Chipotle. In the meantime my Flatbread Margherita had crisped enough to aquire a coal black border. Are you freaking happy now bicuspids?! And then there was Nicole’s told-you-so smile greeting me in the kitchen. Double ouch.

You know what? It was still good! The insides were just right on the crispy scale. There was a sizable square pizza surface area and a pleasing ratio of cheese to tomato. I am left to only imagine what this pizza could have been! My guess = pretty good. If this pizza should intrigue you as well I suggest that you avoid the toaster oven. If you are stubborn like me and are a stickler for crisp, watch it closely after 9 minutes. Seriously, just hang out in the kitchen. Hydrate by the water cooler. Make the quiet guy feel awkward. Create your own magnetic poetry. The possibilities are really endless. But Nicole says its okay in the microwave too. And so, feel free to trust her, at your own soggy risk, of course. Maybe a little half microwave and half toastalious? I’ll try and let you know.

You have a lot of Heatable, Eatable pizza options out there, Internet. Try them all! No reason to commit just yet! Based on my experience, I do recommend throwing this one in the ring.

The folks at Stouffer’s sent this meal to HeatEatReview.com. Yes, we got it for free. I’m sure they would have appreciated a better picture than one of burnt flatbread, but we’re all for truth in reporting.

Filed Under Four Stars, Frozen Pizza Reviews, Stouffer's Frozen Meal Reviews, Three Stars, Vegetarian | 17 Comments

Lean Cuisine Shrimp and Angel Hair Pasta

April 20, 2007 | Reviewer: Guest Reviewers

Lean Cuisine Shrimp and Angel Hair Pasta

Price: $3.29
Serving: 1 Package, 10 oz.
Calories: 240
Fat: 7%, 4.5g
Cholesterol: 18%, 55mg
Sodium: 25%, 600mg
Protein: 15g
Carbs: 12%, 35g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
WW Points: 5

Lean Cuisine says: Shrimp and angel hair pasta in a creamy seafood sauce with accents of sherry, tossed with red peppers.

Amanda says: No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. NO. Do not buy this meal. If it is currently in your freezer waiting to appease your next shrimp craving: THROW IT OUT. If you cannot return it to the grocery store you unfortunately bought it from and can’t stand the thought of throwing your hard earned income into the waste basket, GET OVER IT. Do not heat and serve to any unsuspecting pets. Their magical sixth sense will inform them of the trauma you are trying to inflict upon them and they will in turn become rabid and attack you viciously. And rightfully so! This meal is AWFUL.

I removed the package from the cardboard and began poking fork holes into the overwrap to vent as instructed. I then inserted the meal into the microwave for 3 minutes and 35 seconds. Lean Cuisine gave me a choice of cooking time; anywhere from 2-4 minutes. This made me nervous. Shouldn’t they know how long to cook this meal? 2-4 minutes? We have to guess? So after the 3 minute and 35 second mark, I removed the dish from the microwave, ripped off the overwrap and then stared down dissapointedly at 5 slimy, silver shrimp. SLIMY. SILVER. SHRIMP. They weren’t cooked at all! So I decided to nuke them a little longer. 2 minutes longer for a total cooking time of 5 minutes and 35 seconds.

The shrimp curled themselves and turned pink. The sauce bubbled and thickened slighty; an orange tinted variety with sticks of carrots and red pepper slivers. The noodles were thin and seemed plentiful. It didn’t look THAT BAD. So, for you review readers, I took a bite of the pasta. And I’m telling you- I wish I hadn’t. It was really, really bad. Take the scent of old, rubbery shrimp and turn that into a flavor. Then turn that flavor into the very essence of a strange sauce. Pretend to accent the strange sauce with sherry but really just add more atrocious shrimp stink. Then throw in actual old, rubbery shrimp and VOILÁ! you’ve got the worst Lean Cuisine meal I have ever had. I took one more bite of the pasta and I actually ate one of the shrimp just to see if I was being overly critical. I was not. And this is out of the mouth of a woman who unabashedly removes mold from the edges of her sharp cheddar cheese blocks and keeps on keepin’ on.

I slid the “meal” back into it’s cardboard box and tossed it into the trash. I then promptly phoned my boyfriend and asked him to please, please, PLEASE bring me something edible to eat and quickly; anything to get the taste of old shrimp boat captain’s galoshes out of my sad, sorry mouth.

Filed Under 5 WW Points, Fish, Lean Cuisine Reviews, Zero Stars | 27 Comments

Healthy Choice Creamy Garlic Shrimp

April 18, 2007 | Reviewer: Adina

Healthy Choice Creamy Garlic Shrimp

Price: $2.14 (on sale)
Serving: 1 meal, 11.5 oz.
Calories: 280
Fat: 8%, 5g
Cholesterol: 8%, 25mg
Sodium: 25%, 600mg
Protein: 13g
Carbs: 15%, 44g
Fiber: 20%, 5g
WW Points: 5 Points

Healthy Choice says: Delicious shrimp tossed with bow-tie pasta in a creamy garlic basil sauce, complemented with a side of green beans and carrots and tart cherry crisp to offer a complete, satisfying meal.

Adina says: I have to say off the bat, for 5 points and a giant tray of food, this meal is not a bad deal. I was amazed at how non-mushy the shrimp were and how crisp the vegetables were. Texture wise, this meal was two thumbs up (in microwave meal land of course, not in the real food world).

Taste wise, the sauce is like every other Healthy Choice meal - BLAND. By any other name, it would still taste bland. I swear, HC must have a giant vat of tasteless sauce and just dump it on every one of their meals. "Oh Beef Tips Portobello? I think you need a little kick in the beef butt by our special BLAND sauce! And how about you, my little Herb Baked Fish? Would you like to take a swim in our BLAND sauce lake? Oh, and who could forget the Chicken Carbonara! BLANDissimo!" Seriously, it is the only word I can think of that truly encompasses every one of their meals.

If you can get past the fact that you are eating tasteless food, this is not a bad option. I am full (which is a rare, rare thing after a 5 point meal) and I can totally splurge on a skinny cow for dessert tonight. Since everyone who is going to eat this meal knows from the get go that the sauce is bad, I am going to tilt the scales a bit and give it a 3, for trying.

Tanya at Iateapie.net gave this meal 4.5 kisses for nutrition [Read her review]

Filed Under 5 WW Points, Healthy Choice Reviews, Three Stars | 8 Comments

Next Week: Stouffer’s Corner Bistro Flatbreads

April 17, 2007 | Reviewer: Abi Jones

Flatbread Logo Image

Courtesy of the Stouffer’s PR folks, next week we’re coming at you with four reviews of Stouffer’s products. Yes, four straight reviews, not three like those usual weeks! And then a surprise on Friday because we know that you like surprises. We’ll be wowing you with reviews of: