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Progress in civilization has been accomplished by progress in cookery. ~Fannie Farmer

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Hungry-Man Sports Grill Beer Battered Chicken

February 14, 2007 | Reviewer: Nicole

Price: $2.00 (on sale)
Serving: 1 meal, 16 oz.
Calories: 820
Fat: 60%, 39g
Cholesterol: 35%, 105mg
Sodium: 111%, 2670mg
Protein: 33g
Carbs: 26%, 79g
Fiber: 28%, 7g
WW Points: 19 Points

Hungry-Man says: Beer Battered Chicken Patties and Potato wedges with Cheese Sauce

Nicole says: A Hungry Man likes his chicken like he likes his women - battered.

Oh, wait, no. If you’d like do something about violence against women, please check out www.Vday.org and support the events and services in your community.

On a lighter note, this meal kicked ass. I did have some ketchup with the chicken, since it’s really not right to have chicken nuggets or chicken fingers without sauce. Damn, 111% of my RDA of sodium tastes good.

Before I ate this meal, Abi mentioned that it might be good from the oven. I have mixed feelings about doing oven reviews, though - yes, it would be HEATing, EATing, and REVIEWing, but I feel like the general vibe here is ADHD microwave addiction/cheap, busy professionals at work. So I microwaved it. Hence neither the fries nor the beer battering were crispy at all.

The hearty helping of salty cheesy potato wedges are fabulous, though soft, and I have decided this might be the best meal to have hanging around in the freezer for those Saturday nights when you stay out late but don’t get a chance to go to Ben’s Chili Bowl for a chili dog or to Jumbo Slice for a piece of pizza bigger than your head and greasier than Danny Zuko’s hair.

The chicken is tasty and properly textured for chicken fingers. Yes, it’s reconstituted meat, but they did it right. As mentioned, no crispiness, but good flavor to the batter. 100% perfect when lightly dipped in ketchup. Or catsup. I prefer ketchup. I got one tiny gristly bite. That was not 100% good.

If you are looking for a filling, tasty meal and have no major concern for your weight or your heart (note: your liver is fine - “This meal contains trace amounts of alcohol for flavor. Most burns off in the cooking process”), then look no further. This is a meal that really eats like a meal. Eat your heart out, Campbell’s Chunky Soup. Being satisfied until dinner is worth taking some statins (note: bad for your liver) later down the road, right?

Canterbury Cuisine Fudge Mix

February 13, 2007 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $2.99
Serving: 1/12 prepared pan
Calories: 190
Fat: 11%, 7g
Sodium: 28%, 670mg
Protein: 8g
Carbs: 25%, 75g
Fiber: 10%, 3g

Canterbury Cuisine says: We all remember Grandma’s Fudge…thick, rich, dark chocolate that melted in your mouth! It took a special touch to make it “just so”

Abi says: I planned on posting this review immediately after Thanksgiving. Then I realized that we were spending the next couple of weeks reviewing Trader Joe’s products. Please read the paragraphs below as though the date were December 4, 2006.

You know what is a good day-after-Thanksgiving lunch? No, not turkey: Middle Eastern food. There’s nothing quite like going out for a satisfying meal of chicken kebab, hummous, babba ghannouj, and fresh pita. Talk about delicious and yummy. Oh wait, this isn’t a review of my lunch at Skewers, this a review of the microwave fudge I purchased at TJ Maxx. Yes, I bought a package of microwave fudge mix at TJ Maxx. I’m sorry, I just can’t get over it. TJ MAXX!

Why did I make this fudge on the day after Thanksgiving? Apparently I have a compulsive baking disorder. Perhaps the fourth Friday of November is not the best day for making a rich chocolatey item, but unlike most of America, I didn’t have a food hangover.

How was the fudge? I found it far too grainy and not nearly as delicious as Kraft Recipe Fantasy Fudge. I also may not have followed the instructions to a T, which doesn’t help a product like this. But I think that even with perfect preparation, it wouldn’t have been a great dessert item.

I am sure that my coworkers will love it. They adore chocolate.

If you really, really want to know how Canterbury Cuisine’s fudge tasted, I think you should read this conversation between me and George:

“How was it?” I asked.
“It was tasty. Very rich.” he replied.
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, I find fudge always too rich for me.”

This coming from a man who ate five truffles while downing a Coke this afternoon. A man who said “You need to take these truffles away from me before I eat the whole box.” Chocolatey French truffles coated in cocoa powder!

Also, a man who manages to eat entire rows of brownies from a pan. Like I won’t notice that there’s a bit missing because A WHOLE ROW IS GONE. Quite frankly, I’m glad that he eats so much. Before I purchase my first Silpat, I once burned a tray of cookies. “Ooh, cookies?” asked George as he slipped into our previous (tiny) kitchen. “Oh, those are burnt.” I shrugged, gesturing to the plate of obviously burnt cookies. “That’s ok, I can still eat them.” he replied, proceeding to eat burnt chocolate chip cookies.

Unfortunately, George did not consume this fudge with such gusto. Also, I forgot to take it to work. A week later, I tossed the brick of uneaten fudge with a little sadness and a lot of regret. What a waste of butter. Apparently, burnt cookies are more palatable than this fudge. Also, it is great to have someone around to eat your culinary mistakes.

KA-ME Szechuan Noodle Box Meal

February 12, 2007 | Reviewer: Sarah

Price: About $3, I think.
Serving: ½ package (165g)
Calories: 230
Fat: 9%, 6g
Sodium: 26%, 620mg
Protein: 7g
Carbs: 19%, 56g
Fiber: 6%, 2g

KA-ME says: Fresh-pack vegetables and noodles, authentic sauces, premium ingredients, that's why KA-ME's Szechuan noodle dish tastes so great. And what could be easier! Just two pouches. Mix, heat and serve right in the box or with your favorite entree. KA-ME brings the traditional appeal of Szechuan cuisine, with straw mushrooms and baby corn, to your table in just two minutes.

Sarah says: These noodles-in-a-box things they deliver! I've commented on it before, but I'm a big fan of the fresh-pack noodles. At first, they kind of freaked me out - cooked noodles in a plastic bag? Don't they go bad? NO, because that's where the "fresh" part of "fresh-pack" comes in, apparently. Ah, the wonders of modern science. The future is now.

So because of the pack o' fresh noodles, you get pasta that actually tasted like it was cooked on the stove, and not in the microwave. It's also nice to see real <em>sauce</em> come out of the little packet — packed with veggies, I might add! It honestly feels like you're just heating up last night's leftovers, which is refreshing after years of powdered flavoring and faux noodles that come in block form.

This particular version was pretty spicy, something you should expect from anything labeled "Szechuan." My tongue loved it, but my post-hangover stomach had second thoughts. Luckily, in SarahWorld, the tongue is Master and the stomach takes a backseat when making important decisions. I also enjoyed the baby corn and straw mushrooms: they were actually substantial vegetables. That's a good thing, since the worst part about the whole "fresh-pack" deal is that I guess it doesn't work with meat, so you're going to have to get your protein elsewhere. So on second thought, maybe the future isn't now, it's more like tomorrow, or even next week. When modern science can give me fresh-packed prime rib, then we'll talk.

Amy’s Kitchen Chili and Cornbread Whole Meal

February 9, 2007 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $3.69
Serving: 1 entree, 10.5oz.
Calories: 340
Fat: 10%, 6g
Cholesterol: 3%, 10mg
Sodium: 41%, 980mg
Protein: 19g
Carbohydrates: 2%, 7g
Fiber: 9%, 2g

Amy’s Kitchen says: Our friend Eric, who comes from Texas, brought us his recipe for this hearty southwestern chili, and Susan, the person who answers our letters, contributed her recipe for the cornbread in Amy’s thoroughly satisfying Whole Meal of chili, rice and cornbread.

The chili is made with organic beans and vegetables and just enough spice to warm you… the rice is organic, and the moist, tender cornbread is made from organic corn meal and wheat flour. This tastes so great it’s hard to believe that the entire 10.5 ounce meal contains only 6 grams of fat. So eat and enjoy!

Abi says: It is easy and somewhat enjoyable to make fun of foods created by faceless corportations like ConAgra (maker of Healthy Choice, Banquet, and Marie Callendar meals). Sure, it might hurt someone’s feelings when I liken their Bourbon Streak Strips to vomit, but whoever invented that horrible recipe probably won’t find the review.

Unfortunately, this review is about real people. People who shouldn’t have allowed their names to be attached to this disappointing meal. First, let me say that this is not a thoroughly dissatisfying meal; I am full.

You may have noticed in the box blurb that nobody is credited with the organic rice. There’s a reason for that: this rice is a dry, tasteless mess of carbs. I’ve had plenty of delicious, organic microwave rice before. This rice does not qualify. What’s up, Amy’s Kitchen? You’ve made terrific rice in the past. You make me sad, anonymous rice-maker.

And Eric? Your chili is just ok. Really, I can get better chili out of a can. Yeah, I said it. Out of a can. Plus, it doesn’t have to be frozen. That’s right, yummy shelf-stable chili from a can (or tetra-pak). I hope that you didn’t serve this chili at your Superbowl party. If you did, I bet the guests aren’t coming back next year unless you promise to leave the chili to someone else. That or your friends are really nice and like eating blah chili.

Susan, your cornbread is dry and mealy. I am sorry, but somebody has to tell you the truth. You probably hear compliments about your cornbread all the time. If that’s the case, you need to march down to the Amy’s production kitchen and tell them that your cornbread should be moist and flavorful.

On the plus side, I did end this meal full. And I didn’t even eat all of the rice.