Heat Eat Review

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One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. ~Virgina Woolf

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Lean Cuisine Chicken Parmesan

January 19, 2007 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $2.00
Serving: 1 package, 11oz.
Calories: 280
Fat: 7%, 5g
Sodium: 21%, 510mg
Protein: 22g
Carbs: 12%, 36g
Fiber: 13%, 3g
WW Points: 5 Points

Lean Cuisine says: A roasted, herb-seasoned chicken breast topped with a flavorful tomato- basil sauce with Parmesan cheese. Accompanied by spaghetti, tossed with grilled zucchini, yellow peppers and tomatoes.

Abi says: Take a long look at the photo of this meal. You may have a bit of trouble finding the chicken, so I will help you out. The biscuit-cutter sized chicken cutlet is located on the left-hand side of the tray. Yes, biscuit-cutter size. If you don’t know the size of a biscuit cutter, then consider a soda can and the approximate diameter of a cross-section. Approximately 1.75 inches in diameter. Diameter is the one that goes across the circle. Circumfrence is the one that goes around the circle.

Do you ever feel odd about using decimal points and ’standard’ measurement. I feel weird about it, but I don’t stop doing it. This is partly because 1.75 in fractions doesn’t look so hot on the internet.

Regardless of the measurement system used, this is still a very, very small piece of chicken. I took one look at the cooked meal and started making post-Lean Cuisine Lunch Plans. You’ve been there. You know how it goes when you eat some sort of diet meal and realize that drinking 2 extra gallons of water a day is not going to make up for the immense hunger you feel. I don’t enjoy that feeling.

I think I’d be angrier about the lack of chicken, mediocre spaghetti (though significantly better than Smart Ones spaghetti that you’ll learn about next week), and super-mushy vegetables if I was not currently consuming Chex Mix and a Diet Coke. It is a great combo. If this Chex Mix contained some M&M’s then I would be perfectly happy. Ok, not perfectly. Perfect happiness might come at the confluence of Diet Coke, Chex Mix with M&M’s, and a lounge chair at a beach.

If you eat this meal, you will not be perfectly happy. You’ll be hungry almost immediately and you’ll be angry at all of the people around you because you totally know that you were gypped out of a good lunch. Also, the people around you will get mad at you for being angry because you’ve now read this review and should know better than to be mean to them.

Lean Cuisine Creamy Basil Chicken

January 18, 2007 | Reviewer: Nicole

Price: $2.89
Serving: 1 Bowl, 10 1/2 oz.
Calories: 290
Fat: 11%, 7g
Sodium: 26%, 640mg
Protein: 22g
Carbs: 11%, 33g
WW Points: 6 Points
Diet Exchange: 1 1/2 Lean meat, 2 starch, 1 vegetable, 1/2 Skim Milk

Lean Cuisine says: Roasted white meat chicken with penne pasta, red and yellow peppers and zucchini in a creamy basil sauce

Nicole says: Lean Cuisine’s Creamy Basil Chicken bowl looks and smells absolutely lovely. Big slices of red and ywlloe peppers, chunks of zucchini, nine or ten small chicken chunks of jacks to shooter marble size with various other tiny chunks (not reformed patties) and a hearty helping of penne pasta, all coated in a light, creamy basil sauce.

The thickness of the penne ensures that the pasta doesn’t cook up too soft. Good choice, LC! The veggies are pretty soft, though - though they retained a good color and flavor, the zucchini is very mushy and the peppers are just barely crisp. The chicken has a nice texture and is well compliments by the basil sauce, which coats everything but isn’t such a generous helping that you have a pool on the bottom of the bowl.

This meal was really tasty, but just a bit on the light side. I’m full now, but I don’t expect it to last more than a couple hours. Good thing I have a Little Debbie “Pecan Spinwheel” for a snack. Which, by the way, has more than one-half the calories of this entire tasty meal. (Source: The Daily Plate)

Jess also reviewed this meal. Read Jess’s review of Lean Cuisine’s Creamy Basil Chicken and compare for yourself.

Weight Watchers Points

January 17, 2007 | Reviewer: Abi Jones

You may or may not be a believer in Weight Watchers. If you aren’t, then sorry, you’ll have to check back this afternoon for another one of Nicole’s stunning reviews. If you are a Weight Watchers lover, then we’ve got a new feature for you. Introducing the HeatEatReview.com WW Points categories. Now you can look for reviews based on a super-secret formula developed by the folks at Weight Watchers.

• One Point Meals, Snacks and Desserts
• Two Point Meals, Snacks and Desserts
• Three Point Meals, Snacks and Desserts
• Four Point Frozen Meals
• Five Point Frozen Meals
• Six Point Frozen Meals
• Seven Point Frozen Meals
• Eight Point Frozen Meals

Please note that we got all of this information from the creators of the meals. This means that we’re not responsible for points changing, being incorrect, etc. You’ll need to take that up with Lean Cuisine, Healthy Choice, and Smart Ones.

Weight Watchers Website
Weight Watchers Wikipedia Article

No Pudge Fudge Brownies (Original)

January 16, 2007 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $3.50 per box
Serving: 1 brownie, 2oz.
Calories: 110
Fat: 0%, 0g
Sodium: 0%, 0mg
Protein: 2g
Carbs: 10%, 28g
Fiber: 4%, 1g

No Pudge says: Makes traditional thick, fudgy brownies. Great for folks who don’t want anything but a rich, all-chocolate taste.

Abi says: My real workplace (Not HeatEatReview.com) is semi-obsessed with trivia. We have a daily trivia game (you can make an office one on www.funtrivia.com) and every week our organizational update email contains a single trivia question.

While I often completely rock the daily trivia game (I was winning until 9:42 a.m., when my boss beat my time by 4 seconds. Argh.), I do not have a good track record with the weekly trivia game. Part of the reason for this is that I am often away from the office and using stupid Outlook for the Web. Outlook for the web does not lead to speedy email updates. Since I’ve been in the office ALL OF THE TIME during winter break, I’ve become accustomed to getting the weekly trivia emails in a timely manner. Unfortunately, I have been a complete idiot: actually reading the email instead of speedily scrolling to the bottom to read, Google, and complete said trivia game.

This poor course of action pretty much always leads to Kate and Chad (fellow cube-workers) winning the trivia game. Well, not this week folks. This time, immediately after the trivia went out, I was once again not paying attention to my email. Paying too much attention to email is not part of getting things done. Luckily, my coworker Sarah (writer of said trivia) and my boss Bill (um, my boss) were having a chat about something that was probably work related. I was sort of eavesdropping, but not really. Fortunately for me, the very moment I chose to be a more active eavesdropper (which really could not be considered eavesdropping because it is a freaking cubicle farm. You cannot have expectations of privacy here.), as I was saying, the very moment I decided to eavesdrop actively, Sarah informed Bill that the weekly trivia game had gone out and he’d best get back to his desk to even have a chance of winning.

I took this as my cue to check my email, scroll to the bottom of the weekly update for the trivia, and use the CIA factbook to figure out the major export of Antigua. Why Antigua? One of my coworkers recently left the office (by recently I mean gave 6 hours notice) and is now attending medical school in Antigua. My office is completely enamored/transfixed with all things Antiguan. We also threaten to leave work and move to Antigua during difficult staff meetings.

What does this have to do with No Pudge Fudge Brownies?

No Pudge Fudge brownies made an appearance in the office Friday as the prize for all of the trivia contest winners. They were also handed out to non-winners, including officemate Bale. Bale is a definite guy’s guy who reacted to the brownies thusly:

“These brownies are great!” says Bale.
“Yeah?” asks Sarah
“Yeah! And they don’t have any nuts.” Bale is obviously psyched about the lack of walnuts in these brownies. He’s allergic.
“They’re fat free too.” Sarah replies, dropping the double f-bomb.
“No way! These are awesome.”

Then we all laughed because we already knew that No Pudge Fudge Brownies are super-fantastic. They’re wonderfully gooey and rich and unbelievably fat free. Before I start sounding too much like H-G, I should tell you that these brownies are a bit too sweet for my taste. Also, they may be fat free but they are not calorie free. It is easy to eat four or five servings of these brownies without even thinking about it. At that point, you’re not helping your waistline or your overall health.

But yeah, they get five stars because they are super-good and you can make a single serving in your microwave. Also, I was happy about winning the weekly trivia game (finally!).

And yes, I am really freaking tired of eating diet food. Fortunately for all of you, I will continue to eat this stuff through the end of January. Sigh.