Heat Eat Review

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Progress in civilization has been accomplished by progress in cookery. ~Fannie Farmer

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Stouffer’s Rigatoni with Roasted White Meat Chicken

December 21, 2006 | Reviewer: Jess

Price: $2.00 (on sale)
Serving: 1 package, 8 3/8 oz.
Calories: 390
Fat: 22%, 15g
Sodium: 34%, 820mg
Protein: 19g
Carbs: 15%, 44g
Fiber: 12%, 3g

Stouffer’s says: Roasted chicken breast tossed with al dente rigatoni pasta and flavorful basil pesto made with extra virgin olive oil,garlic,pine nuts and aged Parmesan cheese.

Jess says: I made an important life discovery today. If you are really really hungry, then whatever you heat will probably taste incredibly delicious. My stomach was making these sick nasty gurgles at my desk before I cracked open the freezer and released this orange boxcicle from its icy home. And let me tell you, I popped out of my office chair as soon as I heard that microwave go “ding, ding, ding”. I didn’t even wait those 2 minutes of radiation toxin resting time. I was hungry. So I pretty much inhaled this garlicky, pestoey magic and was more and more impressed by its taste with each not properly chewed swallow. The sauce was well distributed, the pasta portion was enough to satiate, and the chicken cubes had a robust surface area (for a microwave meal).

When it was all over I realized that I didn’t take the cute little ‘how I look in real life’ picture that Abi likes. I was beyond thinking of even you, H.E.R. readers, I was THAT hungry. But I decided to write this up anyway while I was still awash in a belly-full glow, since you will tell me if I’m again grossly over-rating a meal and this is actually a pest-no, not a rigaton-si. (I nearly edited that out but stopped myself)

Still I’d place my bets on tastiness. Has pesto and pasta ever really done you wrong?

Readers - Fortunately for you, I managed to procure this meal for myself and take a picture. Apparently, the flourescent lights at school react strangely to the Stouffer’s box. That’s a problem. -Abi Jones, Ed.

Michelina’s Swedish Meatballs

December 20, 2006 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $1.00
Serving: 1 package, 10 oz.
Calories: 500
Fat: 35%, 23g
Sodium: 41%, 990mg
Protein: 20g
Fiber: 12%, 3g
Carbs: 16%, 48g

Michelina says: Try our version of a Nordic masterpiece. Our lean ground beef meatballs are mildly spiced and simmered in a rich gravy flavored with sour cream, vermouth and Worchestshire. Dished up with a helping of tasty pasta, it’s a veritable smorgasbord!

Abi says: While teaching 3rd grade in South Texas, I occassionally ate a Michelina’s meal. I could easily have afforded any other brand of frozen meal, but for some reason I stuck with Michelina’s Lasagna. This explains why I ate a lot of Triscuits and string cheese for lunch.

If only I’d tried Michelina’s Swedish Meatballs back then. They are so definitely worth a dollar that I’m still in shock over how much I enjoyed eating this meal. For a buck you get 5 meatballs, a bunch of plain noodles, and creamy spiced sauce. Michelina’s has the unusual habit of keeping the sauce and noodles separate during the cooking process. This may be because they’re cheap or it may be because it keeps the noodles from getting too mushy.

While the phrase ‘flavored with sour cream, vermouth, and Worchestshire’ doesn’t get the saliva flowing, the actual effect of those ingredients in sauce is more than acceptable. Also, this is not a “veritable smorgasbord”. It is meatballs, sauce, and noodles. Michelina’s, please get a dictionary and note that “veritable” means “real or genuine” and “smorgasbord” means “an extensive array or variety”. When a meal consists of three common items, it is not a “veritable smorgasbord”.

And dear eaters, keep in that while you will be enjoying the one-buck-adventure, others near
you will merely see that you’re eating meatballs in white sauce out of a cardboard box.

So, if a hot guy sits in a cube next to you, perhaps you should avoid this one. No hot guy? Enjoy your dollar lunch and treat yourself to a cocktail or two at happy hour tonight.

Rereading this review, I considered writing the above paragraph like this:

So, if a hot person of the gender to which you are most attracted sits in a cube next to you, perhaps you should avoid this one. No person you may be attracted to? Enjoy your dollar lunch and treat yourself to a beer or cocktail or other non-gender-specific beverage and happy hour tonight.

It doesn’t flow as well, does it?

Marie Callender’s Country Fried Chicken and Gravy

December 19, 2006 | Reviewer: Nicole

Price: $2.00 (sale at Giant)
Serving: 1 meal, 16 oz.
Calories: 500
Fat: 32%, 21g
Sodium: 66%, 1590mg
Protein: 24g
Carbs: 17%, 52g
Fiber: 28%, 7g

Marie says: At Marie Callender’s, our classic country fried chicken is always served with homestyle gravy, corn on the cob, and greamy mashed potatoes made with real butter.

Nicole says: Preparation of this meals was rather labor intensive. You know how you usually return to your desk if a meal needs to cook for more than 3 or 4 minutes? This needs to cook for 6 1/2 minimum, but you can’t leave. You are locked to the microwave. First, you separate the gravy packet from the meal and slit the top, then you have remove the chicken from the heating tray. Finally it is time to cook - corn and taters only, for 3 minutes. Then you replace the chicken, put the slit gravy packet in a separate bowl, and heat for an additional 3 1/2 to 4 minutes. Bah humbug. A two-dish microwavable meal??

However, it is awesome that you get to spread your hot gravy over the chicken patty and mashed potatoes at your discretion - there is a sufficient amount for both, and gravy lovers like me will want to use it all.

The corn is a bit dry but buttery and sweet. The mashed potatoes are definitely “Inspired by Grandma” in the sense that they are not as smooth as most - a bit of chunkiness means homemade. The chicken breading is a bit too moist and soggy and peels off easily, but it still has an acceptable texture. The chicken tastes like…chicken. The gravy - yum. It’s lightly spiced with pepper and definitely makes the flavor for the chicken and mashed potatoes. I can’t say they’d be completely bland without, but they are YUMMY with.

This meals was a tasty, reasonably filling deal for $2.50. I rarely feel this way immediately after eating a frozen meal, but I really wish I had bought more of this one while they were on sale. I will certainly be on the lookout. 66% RDA of sodium may be a bit much for someone trying to be healthy, but if you’re looking for a good size (but not too big) and tasty lunch (or dinner - maybe add a roll?), I recommend Marie Callender’s Country Fried Chicken and Gravy.

Hungry-Man Boneless Fried Chicken

December 18, 2006 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $2.00
Serving: 1 package, 16 oz.
Calories: 710
Fat: 45%, 29g
Sodium: 90%, 2160mg
Protein: 34g
Carbs: 29%, 86g
Fiber: 25%, 6g

Hungry-Man says: Fried chicken patties with mashed potatoes, corn and a brownie

Abi says: There were two good parts to this meal: chicken and brownie. Not very good parts: potatoes and corn. This was the exact opposite of what I expected when heating this meal. I was looking forward to buttery salt-laden potatoes. Instead, I ate a forkful of bland reconstituted potato matter and wept silent tears for the Idahoans against whom such cruelty had been committed.

Ok, I didn’t cry. Instead, I moved on to the corn. Corn is so hard to screw up, yet Hungry-Man somehow manages to overcome that barrier. What’s especially confusing is that Hungry-Man is made by Swanson, the company that introduced the TV Dinner. Shouldn’t they be really good with the corn and mashed potatoes? They’ve had 50 years to perfect this, haven’t they?

On the other side of the dinner coin, Hungry-Man has discovered the secret to producing crispy chicken patties in the microwave: coat them with an impossibly thick layer of fried breading. While a little salty for my taste, the chicken was darn good. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but really it was quite delicious.

You know what else was good (for being from a microwave)? The brownie. Ok, it wasn’t so much good as ‘not awful’. There’s nothing like a dinner of fried chicken and brownie.

And for all of you Hungry-Men and Hungry-Women out there: the portions in this meal are enormous. If they cut the meal down to one patty, some delicious corn, a dollop buttery potatoes, and kept the brownie, I would probably buy this again. They could call the meal Hungry-Abi. Catchy, no?

Ok, it isn’t catchy and I probably won’t buy this again, but if you’re looking for a Hungry-Man meal, I can definitely recommend this one over the Mexican Style Fiesta.