Heat Eat Review

• Home
• about
• archives
• the editrix
• contribute
• contact

There's nothing like good food, good wine, and a bad girl.

Get reviews sent to your Email or via RSS

Phillips Crab and Corn Chowder

November 16, 2006 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $4.19
Serving: 1 cup, 8 oz.
Servings per container: 2
Calories: 310
Fat: 35%, 23g
Sodium: 21%, 500mg
Protein: 7g
Carbs: 6%, 18g
Fiber: 0g

Phillips says: Our hearty Crab and Corn Chowder has been a waterman’s favorite for centuries. Every chunky spoonful is brimming with sweet yellow corn and blue swimming crab meat. This creamy soup is simmered to perfections and laced with onions, celery, and red peppers. Then we add our special seafood seasoning to give a traditional Chesapeake Bay flavor to the rich chowder.

Abi says: What is ‘Blue Swimming Crab Meat’? You probably think that my inclusion of that phrase in the above description is a typo. It is definitely not a typo. As I typed the words into this document I had to go back and read the cardboard label again. And again. Yep, blue swimming crab meat. I’d love to tell you more about the crab meat, but there was so little in this bowl of soup that I’d be hardpressed to accurately describe it.

I guess the folks at Phillips seafood’s marketing department are a bunch of liars. The soup was watery rather than creamy, contained only three spoons of vegetables (and this is two servings!), and was merely ‘laced’ with crab meat. Yes, I ate all of the vegetables and meat out of the soup.

After the meat/vegetable population (which consisted of three spoonfuls) had been diminished I couldn’t take more than a few bites of this limpid, flavorless mess of a “chowder”. Do youself a favor and pick up Safeway’s Kickin’ Crab and Corn Chowder instead. At least that one contains actual ingredients.

Ethnic Gourmet Chicken Tikka Masala

November 15, 2006 | Reviewer: Jess

Price: $4.00 (full price)
Serving: 1 package, 10 oz.
Calories: 200
Fat: 9%, 6g
Sodium: 28%, 680mg
Protein: 17g
Carbs: 6%, 19g
Fiber: 7%, 2g

Ethnic Gourmet says: Seasoned white meat chicken pieces in a robust, creamy sauce, with seasoned, long-grain brown rice.

Jess says: I have been eating a lot of Indian food lately (both of the “cloth napkin” and “pierced plastic film” variety) so my palate is especially in tune with the bountiful spices of India. I went to an Indian buffet last Friday and scooped fat-ass amounts of Chicken Tikka Masala on to my wrist-injuring serving plate. While the plate is another story, damn! I love that creamy yogurt spiciness! This microwave meal, however, was nowhere near my Friday feast.

Look at the picture of Ethnic Gourmet’s Chicken Tikka offering. Ask yourself, ‘Where is the chicken?’ The answer is ‘Not in Jess’s bowl’. There was literally one strip of chicken and then a bunch of shredded chicken bits that required spooning as the bits were too tiny for fork prongs. The rice, as happens often with brown rice, had no vah vah voom. Thank Ganesh that the sauce saved the meal.

I dumped all the bland rice in with the not-as-good-as-take-out sauce and went to town with my ricey chicken bits. Based on previous reviews of Ethnic Gourmet items, I think they need to go back to the drawing board on their name. Thesaurus.com suggested “Ethnic Amateur” or how about “Ethnic Passables”.

Smart Ones Penne Pollo

November 14, 2006 | Reviewer: Guest Reviewers

Price: $3.49
Serving: 1 tray, 10 oz.
Calories: 280
Fat: 6g
Sodium: 510mg
Protein: 21g
Carbs: 39g
Fiber: 3g
WW Points: 6 Points

Smart Ones says: Sunny Italy comes to mind with every bite of this dish seasoned with basil garlic sauce.

Linz says: I don’t know about you, but when I think “Sunny Italy,” I tend to conjure up images of sun-drenched beaches, bottles of vino, glistening chicken dinners with rosemary and garlic and pasta. Acres of pasta, annointed with extra-virgin olive oil and perfect plum tomatoes. Penne Pollo, while not bad as far as Weight Watchers frozen entrees go, does not remind me of anywhere remotely exotic. Then again, I’ve never been to Italy.

While not the most exciting of meals, Penne Pollo is totally decent-tasting. The sauce, though a bit thin, is pleasantly garlicky. The chicken chunks are tasty, tomatoes juicy, and the pasta is actually al dente. If eaten slowly, this meal is even somewhat filling. While I was eating Penne Pollo, I found myself thinking, “This is pretty tasty! Why does eating this depress me so much?”

Maybe because I’m actually on the Weight Watchers program that I tend to avoid eating frozen Weight Watchers food. It’s like wearing the band’s t-shirt to the show! No, that’s not it exactly, I don’t know why, but there’s something patronizing about Weight Watchers brand food. The company’s saying “Eat this, it’s tasty! And portion controlled! Because you can’t be trusted to eat pasta on your own, ya fatty! We know what’s best for you!” Am I projecting?

Summing up, Smart Ones Penne Pollo, isn’t bad at all. While I tend to stick to Amy’s Organics for lunch, I would put Penne Pollo in my rotation. It’s not the food’s fault that being on a diet sucks. Back to therapy for me…

Amy’s Soy Cheese Pizza in a Pocket Sandwich

November 13, 2006 | Reviewer: Heather

Price: $2.99
Serving: 128g (1 Pocket)
Calories: 290
Fat: 16%, 10g
Sodium: 23%, 540mg
Protein: 12g
Carbs: 13%, 38g
Fiber:6%, 1g

(Veggie but NOT vegan)

Amy’s Kitchen says: The classic vegetarian combination pizza in a pocket sandwich, made with mozzarella style soy cheeze, Amy’s special pizza sauce, mushrooms, olives and green peppers. Lactose free

Heather says: I’ll make this review as brief as Amy’s marketing description of this product. In short: these are yummy. If you’re a fan of both Amy’s and the Hot Pocket, you will enjoy these. They taste like a gooey, cheesy Hot Pocket, only infinitely better for you. The crust is pleasantly whole-mealish, and the filling is a perfect balance of cheesy and tangy tomato goodness.

In fact, I have but one small detraction. Despite containing soy cheese, these pocket sandwiches also contain a small amount of caseinate, a cow’ milk derivative. Thus, they are not vegan. Oh, Amy, why? Why go to all the trouble of making something tasty out of soy cheese and then ruining it for the die-hard vegans? This is akin to run 26 miles of a marathon and then throwing up your hands and going ‘Zero point two miles more? I can’t do it. I cannot. I end here.’ Oh, Amy, finish the race. Please, woman, for the sake of humankind and vegan soy cheese pizza pocket lovers everywhere. Do it for us. We make you lots and lots of money (because, trust me, you have quite a market on frozen vegan goodness.) Now consider your fans, please. That is all I ask.